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Old 02-15-2017, 12:46 AM
 
305 posts, read 186,140 times
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My good friends mother passed away and with work I don't think I can attend the funeral. Of course I will go to the Shiva that day or the next but wasn't sure if it that was enough? Also I know if we did attend the funeral that my husband wouldn't want to dress for it. What is proper attire nowadays. Do you have to wear a tie?
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Old 02-17-2017, 10:04 PM
 
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I'm sorry that no one has replied to your message. I don't recall anyone participating on this forum who was Jewish or had familiarity with Jewish customs. Most people who mention religion on this forum (and many don't) either seem to be Christian or nothing at all. I'm sorry, and I hope you are able to find the information you need.
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Old 02-20-2017, 03:45 PM
 
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I don't have an exact answer but, if you literally can't go to the funeral, I'm sure the person will understand. But you could then write her a condolence letter saying, "I'm sorry we couldn't come to the funeral, but..."

Second, it's my impression that you're expected to be fairly formally dressed for a funeral. If the problem is your husband's laziness about wearing ties, you need to get him to understand that there are some things in life where the seriousness of the event demands the respect connected by ties and jackets. It's not all about his comfort.
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Old 02-21-2017, 07:01 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,182 posts, read 50,480,930 times
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I'm not Jewish but I'm aware that Jewish funerals and burials occur within a day of death, so I found the question confusing. If there was no answer on the same day it was posted, it didn't matter anymore. Shiva usually lasts a week, IIRC.

OP could easily have asked in the Jewish forum under R&S.
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Old 02-21-2017, 10:20 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
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Yes, there is an Ask a Jew thread.
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Old 02-27-2017, 04:21 AM
 
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I just saw this and though it is late to reply I will put this out there. It has been my experience that it is amazing how many people are able to get to the funeral (I mean this with respect to how quickly it is scheduled) . However, it is always understood that not everyone can get to it. Shiva is a very meaningful and comforting part and is very appreciated always.
As far as funeral attire- I think it depends on the situation but generally speaking,people are coming from all different places, timewise, workwise etc. I would say a jacket and tie is not necessary. For more orthodox more people would be dressed with ties etc but I believe business casual would be totally acceptable.
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