U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 02-15-2017, 12:46 AM
305 posts, read 186,140 times
Reputation: 341


My good friends mother passed away and with work I don't think I can attend the funeral. Of course I will go to the Shiva that day or the next but wasn't sure if it that was enough? Also I know if we did attend the funeral that my husband wouldn't want to dress for it. What is proper attire nowadays. Do you have to wear a tie?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 02-17-2017, 10:04 PM
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
Reputation: 4549
I'm sorry that no one has replied to your message. I don't recall anyone participating on this forum who was Jewish or had familiarity with Jewish customs. Most people who mention religion on this forum (and many don't) either seem to be Christian or nothing at all. I'm sorry, and I hope you are able to find the information you need.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-20-2017, 03:45 PM
8,218 posts, read 8,495,554 times
Reputation: 10182
I don't have an exact answer but, if you literally can't go to the funeral, I'm sure the person will understand. But you could then write her a condolence letter saying, "I'm sorry we couldn't come to the funeral, but..."

Second, it's my impression that you're expected to be fairly formally dressed for a funeral. If the problem is your husband's laziness about wearing ties, you need to get him to understand that there are some things in life where the seriousness of the event demands the respect connected by ties and jackets. It's not all about his comfort.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-21-2017, 07:01 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 7 days ago)
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,182 posts, read 50,480,930 times
Reputation: 60062
I'm not Jewish but I'm aware that Jewish funerals and burials occur within a day of death, so I found the question confusing. If there was no answer on the same day it was posted, it didn't matter anymore. Shiva usually lasts a week, IIRC.

OP could easily have asked in the Jewish forum under R&S.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-21-2017, 10:20 AM
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,525 posts, read 42,694,765 times
Reputation: 57174
Yes, there is an Ask a Jew thread.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 02-27-2017, 04:21 AM
2,036 posts, read 1,851,559 times
Reputation: 2857
I just saw this and though it is late to reply I will put this out there. It has been my experience that it is amazing how many people are able to get to the funeral (I mean this with respect to how quickly it is scheduled) . However, it is always understood that not everyone can get to it. Shiva is a very meaningful and comforting part and is very appreciated always.
As far as funeral attire- I think it depends on the situation but generally speaking,people are coming from all different places, timewise, workwise etc. I would say a jacket and tie is not necessary. For more orthodox more people would be dressed with ties etc but I believe business casual would be totally acceptable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top