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I lost my daughter. I think back to those days and remember how I felt so helpless standing by her bedside and whispering in her ear to "Fight Girl". To watch her fight through the night only to be told in the morning that her body was giving up.
In a space of 24 hours our whole lives changed. DIC took her life, I'm the Dad and the protector but I couldn't keep DIC from taking her. That morning I whispered in her ear and told her it was ok if she had to go. That I know how hard she fought to stay with us. As soon as I said those words her respiration and vitals slowed and I watched a single tear roll down her cheek. We gathered around her bed and told her how much we loved her. She left us at 11:31 am on a Tuesday.
I learned many things since that day. Things a Father should never have to learn. How to plan a funeral, how to select a grave site, how to close out your child's life, how to tell people she has passed,
A 1000 days.... I can recall the first second, minute, hour, day. Walking out of the hospital and seeing life continuing on and thinking "Don't you know she's gone!" How can life go on?
Lurked here for about 900 days. I'd never made it if it wasn't for My wife and 2 daughters, The Compassionate Friends, Grief Recovery Program, Her dog, the songs Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World and Float On by Modest Mouse.
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