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Old 03-29-2017, 05:25 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,483 posts, read 13,339,114 times
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But why then add the grands? That's the part that seems odd to me, the skipping over. I mean I could understand just doing husband, or husband/father/grandfather, but to just do husband and grandfather? I don't get it, it makes me feel like there is some anger or resentment or something under the surface.

BTW I like the idea of donating flowers to another family.
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Old 03-29-2017, 05:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
But why then add the grands? That's the part that seems odd to me, the skipping over. I mean I could understand just doing husband, or husband/father/grandfather, but to just do husband and grandfather? I don't get it, it makes me feel like there is some anger or resentment or something under the surface.
Yes, agree with you.
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Old 03-29-2017, 05:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Wow, really?

My dad passed away recently. It never occurred to me that my mother would pay for flowers from the three adult kids. I mean, we're all ADULTS - in our forties and fifties. With decent incomes and abilities. Why on earth should our mother pay for flowers from the adult kids?

I'm just flabbergasted really.
Why would the sons not pay for the grandchildren?

I can see just having husband---but husband and grandchildren, something is off with this story.

I think a family works together. Sorry-odd putting grandchilden---why on earth would OP pay for grandchildren but skip over sons There is more to this story.

I am going to have flowers for my Mother's funeral this week. Surely I will be sure there is something there from my sons--whether they pay for it or not. There will be a discussion about it.

As a therapist would say: "It is not about the flowers", there is something else going on.
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Old 03-29-2017, 05:55 PM
 
1,156 posts, read 2,289,813 times
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Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
Why would the sons not pay for the grandchildren?

I can see just having husband---but husband and grandchildren, something is off with this story.


I think a family works together. Sorry-odd putting grandchilden---why on earth would OP pay for grandchildren but skip over sons There is more to this story.

I am going to have flowers for my Mother's funeral this week. Surely I will be sure there is something there from my sons--whether they pay for it or not. There will be a discussion about it.

As a therapist would say: "It is not about the flowers", there is something else going on.
are we even reading the same story?

Why are you insisting the must be "more to the story?" geez obviously if the OP hadn't paid for the grandkids flowers there wouldn't have been any at all from them- -just like there were none from the son. Why are you expecting the wife to pay for the flowers for her grown a$$ kids for their own fathers funeral?

That's simply ludicrous.
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Old 03-29-2017, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
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I'm confused why you went ahead and ordered flowers from the grandchildren, but not the children. It doesn't even sound you talked to the family about this which is rather odd. Seems like there's more going on in the family than the flowers or the money really.
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Old 03-29-2017, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
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I find this bizarre as well. When my father died, my sibling and mother and I discussed and agreed on everything. The fact that she was paying for the funeral arrangements wasn't the point, it was that we were united as a family and when all 3 of us agreed on something, that's how we knew it was the right decision.

To skip over the adult children but include the grandchildren without even bothering to discuss the arrangements with those adult children is not indicative of a healthy family dynamic.
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Old 03-29-2017, 07:31 PM
 
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If he wanted to send flowers that said "beloved father" he should have ordered them himself. He is an adult. This is what adults do.
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Old 03-29-2017, 07:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
But why then add the grands? That's the part that seems odd to me, the skipping over. I.
Possibly because the grandchildren are too young to pay for the floral arrangements themselves. It makes perfect sense to me.
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Old 03-29-2017, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,913,707 times
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Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
I think you are using the money as an excuse. I just don't get you. We are burying my Mother this week--I just naturally ordered flowers that included all of our names. We are a family--even though my sons are adults with good paying jobs. Never even thought for a second about who is going to pay for the flowers or if I should include their names.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Wow, really?

My dad passed away recently. It never occurred to me that my mother would pay for flowers from the three adult kids. I mean, we're all ADULTS - in our forties and fifties. With decent incomes and abilities. Why on earth should our mother pay for flowers from the adult kids?

I'm just flabbergasted really.

That being said, we all met together to plan the flowers and no one was left out. Each adult child bought a nice big spray of flowers. I think each of them had a big banner or ribbon that said "Dad."

These were donated to a family who couldn't afford flowers for their loved one after the funeral.
Just to show the difference in families, when my parents died the "family flowers" on & in the casket (beloved wife, mother, grandmother, father, grandfather) were purchased by the estate (that paid for the entire funeral, casket, flowers, funeral meal, etc.). The flowers did not include "names" as Beloved Mother or Beloved Father would obviously be from their children.

In my family, and that includes aunts/uncles/cousins adult children would never buy/send their own flowers to their parents funeral separate from the "family flowers" on the casket.

Frankly, I do not recall adult children buying/sending separate flowers to any funerals of their parents that I have attended. Perhaps, there are different expectations in other parts of the country.

Last edited by germaine2626; 03-29-2017 at 08:41 PM..
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Old 03-29-2017, 08:24 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,483 posts, read 13,339,114 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
Possibly because the grandchildren are too young to pay for the floral arrangements themselves. It makes perfect sense to me.
Well I would think it would be the wife doing 'beloved husband and father' (father to her children) and the adult kids doing "beloved father and grandfather' on behalf of themselves and their own kids. I just find it strange the grandmother would send flowers on behalf of the grandkids without including her own kids too. So to me it doesn't make sense.
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