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Old 06-01-2017, 12:37 AM
5,739 posts, read 4,590,226 times
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There is actually an excellent book that I recommend on this very topic:

The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father
- Maxine Harris

I remember scanning through the book and this jumped out at me and immediately my heart started pounding. She just described PRECISELY what I went through and how it felt to lose my mom when I was just 17. And how it affected me for the rest of my life. It had been 2 decades since she died, and never before had I been able to adequately put into words, and here were the words right in front of me:

A catastrophe is a sudden and great calamity, a violent and abrupt change. Adult survivors of the early death of a parent use just such language to describe their loss. The event is known by it's enormity; nothing in the child's life remains untouched; the catastrophe is ABSOLUTE. A child must make his or her way in a changed world after catastrophe occurs. The new world order is marked by total discontinuity with what went before. ....terrifying insecurity that marks life after the catastrophe of early death intrudes. If a loved and needed parent can disappear forever, then nothing is safe, predictable, or secure anymore.
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Old 06-01-2017, 02:06 AM
Location: Glasgow Scotland
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I was brought up by my mothers sister and husband. who I thought were my parents.. my dad died when I was 17 and my mum died six months later, I was devastated and my world crumbled around me and went downhill.. I rushed into marriage and made the biggest mistake of my life.. I think back then girls didnt get a flat of their own so I was in the way living with relatives ... and didnt know where to turn... seems selfish the way Im putting this but its how I tried to cope in a horrible situation at that time..
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Old 06-01-2017, 06:41 AM
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I am so sorry Dizzy!!
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Old 06-01-2017, 10:30 AM
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,383,805 times
Reputation: 28974
Originally Posted by exitor1998 View Post
If my wife were to die, I'd be crushed. If my little girl died, that would be an un-survivable event. It would lead to my demise.
I have five children and two stepchildren who are now all adults ranging in age from 29 to 47. I can't even begin to think of what it would be like to lose one of the. I'm 70 and my wife died a bit over two weeks ago. That's been hard enough. But even if I should lose a child or grandchild or great grand there is no way it would lead to my demise. If nothing else, they wouldn't want that and I feel it would dishonor them. and their memory.

I sincerely hope you rethink what you posted.
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