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04-23-2017, 10:05 AM
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Location: New Mexico
5,118 posts, read 2,925,888 times
Reputation: 9434
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CTwoodnutt
I try to stay positive each day, and strong so that I am able to think and try to plan ahead, to secure my and our beautiful boy kitty-cat Acey's future.
He is my darling, my Love and more important to me than my own Life.
I'm just not sure that I can...
I'm a verrrry independent and active 65 yr old, with nothing wrong with me health wise, and need no help doing anything.
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I am so sorry for your loss...it's devastating in many ways. I'm ten years further down the road than you are and let me say that things will eventually get better. I was married more than half my life so it is a huge change. You have multiple things going on and might not be thinking clearly because of the shock and loss. Take things slow. Get help if you need it. There are grief support groups almost everywhere.
There are a lot of things staring you in the face. Your first priority is to be safe and secure in a place to live. That might mean moving into a 55+ apartment but maybe not. You probably have a lot of stuff that can't make the move so think about what is essential. Being independent is a plus but maybe you could rely on family or some friends to help with the move. It seems to me that men "deal" with loss first by being busy or active -- channel that in a positive way because there will be days or weeks when you don't feel like doing anything. I missed having someone to bounce ideas off of...to get a second opinion (or a woman's perspective) and to just talk things out and eventually procrastination set in.
You need a social outlet -- eventually -- beyond the internet. I didn't know how to make friends because my wife did that. It took a while but I learned to say "yes" instead of "no" in social situations...joining or accepting an invitation. People generally want to help but don't know how. Some of those 55+ places help with that and there are other options. I joined a bocce club and a hiking group and made a bunch of new friends -- at no cost.
I was financially able to stay in my house but I eventually decided to move and relocated to a place I always wanted to live and reinvented my life. My cat's name is Archie, by the way.
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04-23-2017, 10:31 AM
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Location: Sonoran Desert, AZ
2,854 posts, read 1,168,366 times
Reputation: 6078
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CT - my condolences on the loss of your wife.
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04-23-2017, 10:33 AM
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4,240 posts, read 3,033,996 times
Reputation: 6965
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My sincere condolences to you.
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04-23-2017, 10:37 AM
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Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,605 posts, read 42,768,368 times
Reputation: 57291
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So sorry CT. I would hate to see you make a rash decision, and move to a new place, where you have no connections or support group.
Is there a friend or clergy person who is not in a fog of grief who would do some research for you? Every state has subsidized housing, both senior and otherwise.
Try to find a place nearby, at least for a year, so you don't make any impulsive decisions that you will regret.
Here is a place to start... http://www.lowincomehousing.us/CT.html |
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04-23-2017, 10:39 AM
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1,156 posts, read 2,292,047 times
Reputation: 3401
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet
My condolences. Have you contacted social security to inquire about widowers benefits. You ARE entitled to a portion of your late wife's SS. Please do that on Monday before making any other decisions.
I'd also STRONGLY recommend a bereavement support group. The funeral home or a local hospice group can direct you.
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ONLY if her payment was more than his- he would get the difference added to his, if it was less- it's gone. period. |
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04-23-2017, 10:40 AM
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Location: Out West
20,654 posts, read 15,452,059 times
Reputation: 24205
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OP, my condolences on your loss and the need to uproot and go elsewhere.
I notice that you have befriended Submariner from Maine on here. He's a good friend to have, and if you want to move to Maine, he's filled with information.
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04-23-2017, 12:03 PM
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Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,196 posts, read 7,481,935 times
Reputation: 17144
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I'm so sorry for your loss! Heartbreaking!
Since you say you are in great shape and independent, what about a part time job? That would certainly help you with your finances and just 20 hours a week at $10 an hour would almost cover her part of the rent and you would not have to move.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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04-23-2017, 12:18 PM
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15,700 posts, read 3,125,402 times
Reputation: 4420
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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04-23-2017, 12:23 PM
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Location: North State (California)
28,373 posts, read 2,213,490 times
Reputation: 9930
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I am so sorry for your loss. "Love is eternal"
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04-23-2017, 12:32 PM
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Location: Peru, Maine
282 posts, read 225,778 times
Reputation: 317
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Yes, I got a portion of my late wife's SSI...
Quote:
Originally Posted by exit82
ONLY if her payment was more than his- he would get the difference added to his, if it was less- it's gone. period.
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Yes, hello,
My Late Wife's SSI monthly check was $1222. Mine is $737. I get an additional $431/month, bringing my total monthly total to $1158/mo.
This is DOWN $962/mo.
We used to receive a total of $2120/month.
So, I'll be living on just $1158/month.
Thanks,
CTwoodnutt |
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