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Old 04-23-2017, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
5,734 posts, read 3,183,522 times
Reputation: 13471

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So sorry for your loss.
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Old 04-23-2017, 02:18 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,536 posts, read 42,708,506 times
Reputation: 57184
Quote:
Originally Posted by exit82 View Post
I'm very sorry for your loss OP- and I want to wish you Happy Birthday tomorrow as well-

I was thinking as to your living situation- are you handy? could you be a maintenance man in exchange for free rent at some small complex or even a caretaker at a camp in Maine?
My retired hubby works PT at a home improvement store. The money helps and he gets to keep busy. He also gets eye and dental coverage.
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Old 04-23-2017, 03:31 PM
 
1,012 posts, read 947,852 times
Reputation: 2055
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
My condolences. Have you contacted social security to inquire about widowers benefits. You ARE entitled to a portion of your late wife's SS. Please do that on Monday before making any other decisions.

I'd also STRONGLY recommend a bereavement support group. The funeral home or a local hospice group can direct you.
This is what I was going to recommend. I do believe you are entitled to at least a portion of your wife's benefits.

I guess you don't have friends or family to turn to right now? I'd be in the same situation, I'm afraid.

Blessings on your birthday.
Wishing you only good things from here out.
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Old 04-23-2017, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Boston
3,712 posts, read 1,258,358 times
Reputation: 5732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
My condolences. Have you contacted social security to inquire about widowers benefits. You ARE entitled to a portion of your late wife's SS. Please do that on Monday before making any other decisions.

I'd also STRONGLY recommend a bereavement support group. The funeral home or a local hospice group can direct you.
He gets the higher of the two, his is already higher than his wifes was so I think thats it.
Its difficult for sure.
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Old 04-23-2017, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Boston
3,712 posts, read 1,258,358 times
Reputation: 5732
SAd for your loss, sorry.

I'm moving to Maine myself this summer, I'm on SS but work PT near Boston, will go full retired in Maine.
I found some nice mobile homes on 3 acres in Houlton (6 hr drive) , mortgage $200 month. Rents are much cheaper there too. People are down to earth.

I've saw a trailer on 1 acre for $15K.

A house for $12K , $278 yr taxes. 1/2 acre.
Close to Houlton, major town with Home Depot, Sprawlmart etc.
See link below,

436 Ridge

Theres also rent to own houses available. See Craigslist Maine. Or follow link below.
https://www.registertobuyahome.com/?...3fe18f1e6c21c4

If you ain't working theres no reason to be in high rent areas.

Stay busy, if you rest...you rust.!

Last edited by jonesg; 04-23-2017 at 05:26 PM..
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Old 04-23-2017, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Carbondale, Illinois
24 posts, read 16,197 times
Reputation: 70
I totally sympathize with you on the loss of your wife of 27 years, I am 4.5 months from the loss of my husband. It is really difficult, and for you, you have the added problem of moving. Losing the additional income, is difficult, which I am adjusting to, but not a limited as you. Once you have made a decision, and since you are in good health, maybe part-time work would help, both financially and to keep your mind occupied. I am a year older, and in good health, and work part-time, and exercise, and now a widow, to an area we moved to two years ago, made new friends. I find the more I am occupied, the better adjustment I have making it through each day, then each week, then each month. Even though you would like to live alone, a smaller trailer park would good you some neighbors, but not crowds. My older brother lives in one in upper Wisconsin, and sometimes, you just need people to help out. If he is gone, they watch his cat, give rides to each other, just some assistance that you may or may not need. I hope your move goes well, if there are college fraternities in your area, they can be called and paid cash to assist with moving. I also go to a grief group session for people who have lost their spouses, I know men do not often like to do this, but sometimes it helps. Many churches also give one on one counseling for free, just in case it becomes too much for you. Along with this site, there are also on-line groups. These help me with knowing I am not going through this alone, sometimes to vent, sometimes get good suggestions, just for someone to be there to listen. You are in my thoughts during this difficult time.
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Old 04-24-2017, 04:42 AM
 
83 posts, read 50,811 times
Reputation: 92
CT, my condolences. Sincerely. I also have an Irish wife (from the north side of Dublin) and I would be lost without her. 30 years we have known each other, 23 together and 17 married. She's as soft as a feather and as hard as a stone - funny that about Irish women.

Regarding moving, etc., If you have a local Irish cultural center you might ask them for help. The local church might be of some assistance as well. Out here in the SF area we pretty much wait for the call to help someone. We are not perfect but I tell you if the call comes we will jump in the truck and do what we can.

Cash wise - yes you probably need to look to supplement your income. The good news is you seem aware of your limitations and resources. There is no bad news, only focus. The adventure will continue, the pain will subside. Many others have been down this road.

God bless.
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Old 04-24-2017, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Norfolk
1,574 posts, read 1,978,161 times
Reputation: 5058
Quote:
Originally Posted by matt fe2o3 View Post
CT, my condolences. Sincerely. I also have an Irish wife (from the north side of Dublin) and I would be lost without her.
My husband died 12 months ago. I'm a 57-year-old widow. I wish people wouldn't say "I'd be lost if my husband/wife died." Or the other one, "I'd just lay down and die if my spouse died. I couldn't live without him/her."

Several people said that to me at the funeral. It just twists the knife a little more.

I wish I could just "lay down and die" but that's not an option. I am the living dead right now, walking around and acting relatively normal, but dead inside. I knew that I'd outlive him, and I cherished every day, but I didn't think it'd end this soon.

The best response I've received is when people just hug me and cry with me.
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Old 04-24-2017, 08:07 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,098 posts, read 3,923,269 times
Reputation: 18770
People sometimes say insensitive things at a funeral. I wouldn't take it too personally because they are just at a loss for words. I've found it best just to say "I'm so sorry for your loss" and leave it at that.
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Old 04-24-2017, 08:35 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,536 posts, read 42,708,506 times
Reputation: 57184
OP, if you have a lot of equity in your house, you might look into a reverse mortgage.
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