U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 04-30-2017, 03:39 PM
8,218 posts, read 8,498,682 times
Reputation: 10182


Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this annoyance, on top of your grief.

Can you just say, "I'm sorry, but she didn't choose to bequeath you anything, and, as you know, you didn't have much of a relationship - you didn't even care enough to come to the funeral. So, no, I'm not going to invite you over."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 05-05-2017, 02:19 PM
715 posts, read 412,035 times
Reputation: 978
Originally Posted by Hanose View Post
Thanks. I know this is going to be a long ordeal in many ways. Her sister is just one year younger than she was but of the things my wife told me, they never really did get along and would get in lots of fights arguments and she would steal stuff from her. An estate attorney is a great idea, I will look that up. Truth is even if I do manage to get her assets in a way I kind of feel guilty about it being that the good majority of the stuff was hers and I don't want it to look like I am also just somehow profiting off her death and such. Even her sister said as much saying "Why do you care? You just want to take advantage of the situation" kind of ironic really.

Yes, she did have considerably more assets than me, made more money etc. due in large part to our age difference but that didn't matter to me at all. I think there are those that do though.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Do please hire a probate lawyer asap (to help you deal with the legal things among others) - there may be things you haven't though of (like a life-insurance policy she may have had thru her job, future in-law royalty inheritance, etc etc), as well as the nosy sister.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-05-2017, 03:10 PM
48,891 posts, read 39,381,014 times
Reputation: 30548
Originally Posted by Hanose View Post
Anyway, I am going to see someone to help me get through this, mainly the grieving part is by far the worst.
Sorry man. I've been there too.

Lost my wife to cancer when I was 38, she was 45.

1. Talking it out with a counselor is good advice.
2. Seriously, the sister can eff off...you're going through a rough spell and she's not making it easy on you and just wants *stuff* and didn't come to the funeral. Ask yourself, what would your wife want?
3. Get some exercise, it will help deal with the stress.

Best of luck to you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-05-2017, 04:56 PM
619 posts, read 323,570 times
Reputation: 1633
I am so sorry for your loss

Originally Posted by WannaliveinGreenville View Post

I am sorry for your loss. Be strong and get an attorney, Make sure the awful sis does not have a key to the house. If you think she does, change the locks. Sis could clean you out with all her hatred.
I was going to add this^^ if you have the slightest doubt that dear sis may have a key,
then change the locks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-05-2017, 08:04 PM
Location: Kansas City North
3,625 posts, read 6,756,846 times
Reputation: 4630
When you're ready to go through your wife's things, and you still feel like you are "profiting" from her death, take the money you get from selling jewelry or whatever and donate the $ to a charity your wife would like. Be it a church, animal shelter, medical research, university, or something else.

For now, tell sis in law that you've been advised to do nothing to the estate until it's settled.

It's funny (odd funny, not ha ha funny) how people handle the "getting rid of the personal possessions." My own mother died on a Wednesday, funeral was Friday, and by the end of the weekend all of her clothes had been boxed up and donated. My dad wanted it that way.

My first mother in law handled things a little differently. Three years after my FIL died, she was remarrying and the day of the wedding finally got his shaving stuff out of the bathroom. I don't know if she ever did get around to cleaning out his closet - her son and I got divorced a few months later.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top