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Old 05-28-2017, 04:01 PM
 
4,250 posts, read 3,048,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marble cake View Post
I'm just so heartbroken. It's going to take me a very long time to feel better again.
Shattering. My sincerest condolences to you.

Take it a minute at a time, and take all the time you need. Everyone goes through this at their own speed.

((Hugs to you.))
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Lake Grove
2,753 posts, read 1,811,223 times
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I'm very sorry. I wish you peace. May I suggest that you keep reaching out for support. Every little bit of it helps.
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Old 05-28-2017, 07:52 PM
 
198 posts, read 99,706 times
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It was almost five years ago, I came to City Data to post the very same words as you. People here reached out to me. A very special woman who became my friend was a godsend. It took me three years to get passed the grief and I worked hard at it. Not a day went by I did not cry. I took a grief class at the college and I was told to keep continuing telling my story until one day I won't have the desire to tell it. In essence, please talk to people about how you feel, it is important to get your feelings out. I felt exactly like you, I wanted to join my husband. You will find your life will not be the same but you will find yourself adapting to a new you, a new life. The pain you feel now will dissipate in time. Be kind to yourself, eat nourishing meals and baby yourself. I was told to hug myself. After two grief classes and 2 1/2 years of counseling I am here to tell you I made it out on the other side. I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-28-2017, 07:54 PM
 
511 posts, read 197,413 times
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NOBODY gets over it in just 2 days & 2 days isn't forever. Eventually you'll feel better. Best wishes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Marble cake View Post
Two mornings ago my husband died, and the sadness is just too unbearable. I can't stop crying. We were together 46 years. Yesterday was our anniversary. That made it even more heart wrenching. I feel like I want to be where he is. It's going to take me forever to get over this. He was the love of my life. I'm so broken.

I feel like I will never be the same. A part of me died with him. I'm just heartbroken.
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Old 05-28-2017, 09:13 PM
 
3,985 posts, read 5,272,792 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Granite60 View Post
It was almost five years ago, I came to City Data to post the very same words as you. People here reached out to me. A very special woman who became my friend was a godsend. It took me three years to get passed the grief and I worked hard at it. Not a day went by I did not cry. I took a grief class at the college and I was told to keep continuing telling my story until one day I won't have the desire to tell it. In essence, please talk to people about how you feel, it is important to get your feelings out. I felt exactly like you, I wanted to join my husband. You will find your life will not be the same but you will find yourself adapting to a new you, a new life. The pain you feel now will dissipate in time. Be kind to yourself, eat nourishing meals and baby yourself. I was told to hug myself. After two grief classes and 2 1/2 years of counseling I am here to tell you I made it out on the other side. I am sorry for your loss.
I would echo this almost completely, although my husband died 2.5 years ago. Take good care of your body and soul and be patient. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to live without him; I have felt exactly that. I was never suicidal, but I prayed all the time that God would take me so that I could be with my love. But that didn't happen. I am still here, and I am slowly rebuilding a life. You never forget and you never "get over it," but you do learn to live again.
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Old 05-28-2017, 09:16 PM
 
5,793 posts, read 2,004,857 times
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Dear Marble Cake, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved. Holding you in my heart and thoughts.
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Old 05-28-2017, 09:23 PM
Status: "More than chromosomes." (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: Anderson, IN
4,075 posts, read 1,160,321 times
Reputation: 2489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marble cake View Post
Two mornings ago my husband died, and the sadness is just too unbearable. I can't stop crying. We were together 46 years. Yesterday was our anniversary. That made it even more heart wrenching. I feel like I want to be where he is. It's going to take me forever to get over this. He was the love of my life. I'm so broken.

I feel like I will never be the same. A part of me died with him. I'm just heartbroken.
I don't know you, but I want you to know you are loved, and you are not alone. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. My thoughts are with you. *hugs*
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Old 05-29-2017, 02:10 AM
 
7,702 posts, read 12,893,264 times
Reputation: 9626
My heart goes out to you.

I was in your shoes 6 years ago. It is a crushing blow.

You are in the initial shock stage. This is a time to put aside tasks that can wait and
focus on taking care of yourself. Eat the best you can, walking will help, try to rest.
For the things that can wait, do them when you feel up to it. I waited 6 months to
clean out my late husband's closets. No rules for things like that.

When others ask what they can do ask for things like good meals, help with the house & yard and
maybe getting you out of the house for a movie or walk.
I sat through movies and couldn't focus during that stage but it was good to be out of the house.

It took me years to feel good, but now 6 years later I am happier than I have ever been in my life.
Single and loving my life, and in those first years I never thought that would have been possible.

I hope you have friends and/or family to lean on.

Hugs
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Old 05-29-2017, 02:22 AM
 
Location: 49th parallel
2,138 posts, read 1,077,227 times
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Dear Marble Cakes, I am thinking of you and hoping you can find some peace soon. Others have talked about grief counseling, and it really does help, if you have something like that near you. A good cry never hurt, either. Please know there are lots of people out here who are thinking of you. Come back online and talk to us anytime you like - we will always be here.
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Old 05-29-2017, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,103 posts, read 3,814,393 times
Reputation: 10113
I can only offer my sincere hope you will have an ok day in the near future. Keep reaching out. I was widowed at 50. My greatest sadness is that my husband knew his illness (cancer) was terminal. So he made sure to get his affairs in order for me and the kids. For several months he lived with the daily knowledge and pain. I wish he had been spared that time and just passed away unexpectedly so he would have been happy to the end.
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