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Old 06-23-2017, 05:09 AM
 
Location: The Commonwealth of Virginia
597 posts, read 311,017 times
Reputation: 871

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marble cake View Post
Thanks BILL790. I'm visiting my sister at this moment. The diversion is doing little to ease the pain I'm in. I'm thinking of searching for a grief/beverment group. Just maybe that will help.
Marble cake, I thought of you all day yesterday. How are you?

I'm glad you're with your sister....this is a time to be with family. Are you able to get out of her house? To get your face in the sunshine? As I said before....anything to begin to get you 'out of your own head.' I think you'll find you might feel a teensy bit better.

When you feel like you can get through it, you might want to try Option B, a book written by Sheryl Sandburg, the COO of Facebook. She lost her husband unexpectedly, was paralyzed by grief, and wrote the book to help deal with it. I haven't read it, but it's getting good reviews.

And you don't even have to read it. They can beam the audio version right to your cell phone! Maybe, you can listen in small bites, on the morning walk that I suggested you take. Just a suggestion.

You're in my prayers, MC. A lot of people in this forum are routing for you.

--
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Old 06-23-2017, 07:20 PM
 
5,706 posts, read 12,815,737 times
Reputation: 9007
Marble Cake I know what you are suffering. The people on this forum are so supportive and caring. My husband passed last week and I am heartbroken also. Today was my first day alone. Family has been with me for two weeks and I feel so lost. I tried to keep busy between the tears. He was my best friend and the love of my life.

Trying to clean out and dispose of years of his "saving." The family helped tremendously and it is down to a manageable amount. His clothes were donated to a church that helps those in need. I felt so overwhelmed by his habit of saving "things" especially when I am OCD.

I have no sisters or brothers and my closest friends have passed. The friends I do have live in various states so the phone is my lifeline. Closest daughter is 30 miles. Son is 6 hours. So I totally understand how you are feeling and pray that each day we become a little stronger to face life alone.
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Old 06-23-2017, 08:32 PM
 
7,694 posts, read 12,838,929 times
Reputation: 9599
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
Marble Cake I know what you are suffering. The people on this forum are so supportive and caring. My husband passed last week and I am heartbroken also. Today was my first day alone. Family has been with me for two weeks and I feel so lost. I tried to keep busy between the tears. He was my best friend and the love of my life.

Trying to clean out and dispose of years of his "saving." The family helped tremendously and it is down to a manageable amount. His clothes were donated to a church that helps those in need. I felt so overwhelmed by his habit of saving "things" especially when I am OCD.

I have no sisters or brothers and my closest friends have passed. The friends I do have live in various states so the phone is my lifeline. Closest daughter is 30 miles. Son is 6 hours. So I totally understand how you are feeling and pray that each day we become a little stronger to face life alone.
I am so sorry for your loss.
That is a very hard time when the family all leaves and you are home alone for the first time.
My cousin did a lot of house projects that first year to help her stay busy.
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Old 06-23-2017, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Florida
318 posts, read 188,403 times
Reputation: 549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
Marble Cake I know what you are suffering. The people on this forum are so supportive and caring. My husband passed last week and I am heartbroken also. Today was my first day alone. Family has been with me for two weeks and I feel so lost. I tried to keep busy between the tears. He was my best friend and the love of my life.

Trying to clean out and dispose of years of his "saving." The family helped tremendously and it is down to a manageable amount. His clothes were donated to a church that helps those in need. I felt so overwhelmed by his habit of saving "things" especially when I am OCD.

I have no sisters or brothers and my closest friends have passed. The friends I do have live in various states so the phone is my lifeline. Closest daughter is 30 miles. Son is 6 hours. So I totally understand how you are feeling and pray that each day we become a little stronger to face life alone.


Oh I'm so sorry for your loss as well. yes we can pray for each other. That we find the strength to endure this grief, and take day by day, moment by moment.

My heart is broken in two, as I'm very sure yours is also. I believe God can heal the broken-hearted. That is my prayer for us as well, because I'm finding this grief unbearably painful. It's consuming.

Be well. You can PM me if you want to talk. Perhaps we can help each other. I find kinship with others who know this grief.

I really am so very sorry. I absolutely know how you feel. My first nite alone I thought I would die. He was the love of my life.
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:35 PM
 
Location: WA
604 posts, read 527,604 times
Reputation: 2050
Marble cake, Ellwood, sorry for your losses. Retirement Thread I Posted on when my own husband moved to Heaven 5 years ago and I believe then this Thread began.


Found MUCH comfort here, there were several of us here. So much more understanding here, even though I attended a church, had friends. Had computer problems was one reason I let go of the computer in my home And tended to isolate here as the Lord gave me comfort here.


Prayers to each of you.
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Old 06-25-2017, 06:52 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,322,237 times
Reputation: 28965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
Marble Cake I know what you are suffering. The people on this forum are so supportive and caring. My husband passed last week and I am heartbroken also. Today was my first day alone. Family has been with me for two weeks and I feel so lost. I tried to keep busy between the tears. He was my best friend and the love of my life.

Trying to clean out and dispose of years of his "saving." The family helped tremendously and it is down to a manageable amount. His clothes were donated to a church that helps those in need. I felt so overwhelmed by his habit of saving "things" especially when I am OCD.

I have no sisters or brothers and my closest friends have passed. The friends I do have live in various states so the phone is my lifeline. Closest daughter is 30 miles. Son is 6 hours. So I totally understand how you are feeling and pray that each day we become a little stronger to face life alone.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. I know first-hand how horrific that can be and how deep the pain is. Like your husband, my wife was my best friend and the love of my life. Her passing six weeks ago came without warning. Know that there are no time limits to grief and we all grieve differently. I'm glad for you that family has been with you to help. I'm sure that was a great comfort.
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:57 PM
 
4,579 posts, read 6,140,145 times
Reputation: 5213
The best thing anyone can do is try to remember the fun and good times. And understand just as you wouldn't want anyone to grieve deeply as you go to your glory they feel the same way.

As for the death itself you never get over it you will just learn to accept it. So consider the good times. To help you out let me ask remember when he____________________? Now have a good laugh..

Oh yea one more thing. If you need it go off by your lonesome and have a good Snot slobbering cry. Many times that may help...
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Old 07-07-2017, 09:20 PM
 
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
Reputation: 4549
Ellwood, there is no reason that you have to clean out your husband's things right away. Do this in whatever way feels right to you. If it bothers you to see things out, you might want to put some things "away" in a closet or bedroom so that you can have them out of sight and work on them when you are ready.

Sorry about your loss.
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Old 07-07-2017, 11:56 PM
 
7,694 posts, read 12,838,929 times
Reputation: 9599
Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Ellwood, there is no reason that you have to clean out your husband's things right away. Do this in whatever way feels right to you. If it bothers you to see things out, you might want to put some things "away" in a closet or bedroom so that you can have them out of sight and work on them when you are ready.

Sorry about your loss.
Agree that everyone does this different. I wanted the clothes out of our room because they were hard to
see daily. But I wasn't ready to donate them and wasn't sure what I may want to keep. So I put them all in an unused room and every week I would take a few bags to goodwill. Worked for me.
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Old 07-08-2017, 05:09 AM
 
5,706 posts, read 12,815,737 times
Reputation: 9007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. I know first-hand how horrific that can be and how deep the pain is. Like your husband, my wife was my best friend and the love of my life. Her passing six weeks ago came without warning. Know that there are no time limits to grief and we all grieve differently. I'm glad for you that family has been with you to help. I'm sure that was a great comfort.
So sorry for your loss. I totally understand the pain you are feeling. My husband was my best friend and also the love of my life. He passed within a 1.5 months and it seems surreal. I am trying to live day by day, forcing myself to go and do as best I can. I have good days and bad days. Life goes on yet some days I wish it didn't. Right now the reason I get up in the morning is my companion and the dog of my heart. The activities and things I took joy in no longer give me that happiness. They have become chores that I have to do. Day by day.
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