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Old 07-08-2017, 05:17 AM
 
5,713 posts, read 12,832,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Ellwood, there is no reason that you have to clean out your husband's things right away. Do this in whatever way feels right to you. If it bothers you to see things out, you might want to put some things "away" in a closet or bedroom so that you can have them out of sight and work on them when you are ready.

Sorry about your loss.
I kept one shirt of his. He had a lot of very nice clothes and I would rather donate them to someone who doesn't have much rather than let them sit in a closet. I would rather look at an empty closet than have to continually look at his clothes.

He was a saver, I am not. The basement was his domain, along with a 20 x 22 woodworking shop. Lots of tools and toys. I always told him we needed to downsize in the basement because when we died the kids were going to get a dumpster. Since my son lives 6 hours away it was easier for them to reduce the basement things to where it was manageable, which they did. Although I handled the $$$ he did everything else, so files were a mess. They shredded and made folders so at least I can find things easily.

Without the work they did I would have been overwhelmed.
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Old 07-08-2017, 05:35 PM
 
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It is very good that you had help for what is in many ways a tough job.
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Old 07-09-2017, 07:01 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
So sorry for your loss. I totally understand the pain you are feeling. My husband was my best friend and also the love of my life. He passed within a 1.5 months and it seems surreal. I am trying to live day by day, forcing myself to go and do as best I can. I have good days and bad days. Life goes on yet some days I wish it didn't. Right now the reason I get up in the morning is my companion and the dog of my heart. The activities and things I took joy in no longer give me that happiness. They have become chores that I have to do. Day by day.


If it helps at all - it does get better but it takes time. My husband died in 2010 and it's been a long, slow journey to where I feel normal again but it does happen. For some, it takes longer than others. My thoughts are with all of you as I know it is such a shock to lose the love of your life and suddenly feel completely alone.
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Old 07-09-2017, 11:50 AM
 
7,696 posts, read 12,858,812 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
If it helps at all - it does get better but it takes time. My husband died in 2010 and it's been a long, slow journey to where I feel normal again but it does happen. For some, it takes longer than others. My thoughts are with all of you as I know it is such a shock to lose the love of your life and suddenly feel completely alone.
Your timing is similar to mine..

My advice to Marble Cake..

At first your grief is all consuming & intense and you need to give yourself as much TLC as possible. Let people help you, eat good, try to take walks and try to get sleep. Think of yourself like you are in an emotional intensive care period.

After a period of time start to list things you find restorative and feed your soul. Friends can help you brainstorm.
Everyones list is different. .
Beach trip, movies, manicures, day hikes.
You won't enjoy these things like you normally would but they can begin to mend your heart.

I lost my husband 6 years ago and I am happier than ever in my life.
So many friends new & old. I think of my late husband daily but dwell on the good memories.
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Old 07-11-2017, 05:38 AM
 
5,713 posts, read 12,832,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
Your timing is similar to mine..

My advice to Marble Cake..

At first your grief is all consuming & intense and you need to give yourself as much TLC as possible. Let people help you, eat good, try to take walks and try to get sleep. Think of yourself like you are in an emotional intensive care period.

After a period of time start to list things you find restorative and feed your soul. Friends can help you brainstorm.
Everyones list is different. .
Beach trip, movies, manicures, day hikes.
You won't enjoy these things like you normally would but they can begin to mend your heart.

I lost my husband 6 years ago and I am happier than ever in my life.
So many friends new & old. I think of my late husband daily but dwell on the good memories.
Thanks for the advice Kelly. I live in the country and have wonderful neighbors but have to find ways to interact with people. My closest friends have passed in the last years. I have quite a few friends that we met in FL but unfortunately they are spread all over the US, although I talk to them frequently. Hopefully in a few months I will make an effort to find a senior group (there are several in the surrounding towns) and make some friends. DH and I were best friends, literally soulmates. I will learn to live without him, but never be as happy as we were together. We traveled the world and experience things in life most people just dream about.
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