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Old 06-07-2017, 11:28 PM
 
4,893 posts, read 2,173,743 times
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It's been 4 years and 7 months since the loss. From then til this day..,I've dealt with 'surving without'.
Tonight though I wanted to share with those who are on this path..Some moments that I still reflect upon. Please feel free to share your own.

Scenario 1- it was about a week after the burial mass. I was in immense emotional pain.along comes a phone call...Telling me I needed to send out a condolence card to a relative. My mind could not compute another loss,and my heart simply was void of any more aches. Yet send I did. No more then three days later ...While I am still receiving condolence cards...I open a letter. Written by a lady ...( She was the spouse of the relative who recently passed). Her sorrow was deep,yet somehow she reached my tender and scarred heart with her enormous compassion and eloquent words. Ohh how I needed just one person to put into words what my heart had lost. She did that. I am ever so grateful for her supportiveness. She emulated being a lady..And sharing grief.

Scenario 2: worked with a gent who was 'faith'filled...And often lightened the burdens thru humour. I was by this time 4 months into grief...He sat with me...Then with few words...He wept. This is a gent that I surely didn't think sorrow came near him. He then shared his greatest loss...His Dad. It was a solid half hour of my tears streaming..And his as well. He didn't once apologize for that "moment" of sorrowfilled tears. Instead he thanked me for being there... How strange that it was I that wanted to thank him...For being human. I just recall him gaining composure..And saying...We grieve together.
All of us who lost...

Scenario 3: around 9-10 months after the loss...I was sitting at my desk...Intune with my daily task. When I felt an overwhelming "peace". I call it the "calling". As if everything was as it should be and I was engulfed in absolute serenity. I stayed that way most of that day...Not disturbed or even sad ..I some how knew that my mom would be in my heart always....

While some may thwart comfort or consider it weak...I gained more from others being there ..

So posters...Do share your journey or reflections that helped you get thru...For we are really not alone..Be it thru cheers or tears...We are here to walk the path..Peace be with you...
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:13 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,383,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
So posters...Do share your journey or reflections that helped you get thru...For we are really not alone..Be it thru cheers or tears...We are here to walk the path..Peace be with you...
It's been just under four weeks since I lost my beloved wife. What helps me get through is the realization and reality that my wife's and my love for one another cannot and will never end. While she is no longer with me physically I strongly feel her presence in both my heart and soul and that brings me peace and comfort. I know it always will.
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Old 06-09-2017, 11:04 AM
 
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curmudgeon- you have a loving way of honoring your wife's legacy. I admire your attitude. Peace be with you ...
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Old 06-09-2017, 11:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
It's been just under four weeks since I lost my beloved wife. What helps me get through is the realization and reality that my wife's and my love for one another cannot and will never end. While she is no longer with me physically I strongly feel her presence in both my heart and soul and that brings me peace and comfort. I know it always will.
This is something that I realized very quickly: love is eternal. "Until death do us part" may be legally correct, but it is not a reality to two loving hearts. I am always comforted by the though that we continue to love now, and when I die, we will continue to love into eternity.
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Old 06-25-2017, 06:45 PM
 
Location: SW MO
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Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
This is something that I realized very quickly: love is eternal. "Until death do us part" may be legally correct, but it is not a reality to two loving hearts. I am always comforted by the though that we continue to love now, and when I die, we will continue to love into eternity.
"To death do us part" or "For long as we both shall live" apply limits to our capacity to love that I don't believe. Like you, I believe love, true love, continues for eternity. That brings me hope and comfort.
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Old 06-26-2017, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Arizona
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They are never gone. They are always with you. That never ends.
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Old 06-26-2017, 09:01 PM
 
331 posts, read 172,112 times
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Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
"To death do us part" or "For long as we both shall live" apply limits to our capacity to love that I don't believe. Like you, I believe love, true love, continues for eternity. That brings me hope and comfort.
I too have lost a wife - to breast cancer, after 33 years of marriage. I felt then, and do now, 12 years later, that I had lost my soul mate, someone God brought into my life at the age of 21 in answer to a prayer. She is still in my heart and prayers and, of course, always will be. For three years, I chugged along alone - not really even lonely and with no thought of ever even dating again. I probably would have become angry if anyone had suggested I would ever marry again. Then, through an almost magical set of circumstances, God brought a second soul mate into my life - one for whom I had to travel 7,500 miles for our first date. The signs were so incredibly obvious that "this is meant to be" that I was almost compelled to follow the path being set before me. That was now 9 years ago, and she has been as much a godsend for me as my first wife even though she is a completely different person.

My only point is that even a strong belief that love is eternal should not shut us off from being open to new love that may come our way. As a Christian, I believe Jesus' words that we are neither married nor given in marriage in heaven. I have simply been blessed with two soul mates with whom I expect to enjoy eternity.
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Old 06-27-2017, 02:51 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
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Beautiful, heartfelt and touching thoughts, and more comforting than you might know to those of us who read them.

Thank you Nov3, Curmudgeon, Grasshopper, Thinkalot, Troglodyte, for sharing your personal insights and healing thoughts, and may G-d walk with you, may you continue to find solace and comfort in your shared memories and the knowledge that your loved ones are never far from you.
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Old 06-27-2017, 10:04 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,383,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Troglodyte74 View Post
My only point is that even a strong belief that love is eternal should not shut us off from being open to new love that may come our way. As a Christian, I believe Jesus' words that we are neither married nor given in marriage in heaven. I have simply been blessed with two soul mates with whom I expect to enjoy eternity.
You are blessed indeed. I'm only "shut off" because at age 71 in a matter of weeks have neither the desire nor the energy to enter into a relationship. I don't believe that will change over whatever time I have left. I firmly believe that my wife is still with me and our love lives on in and with both of us. I also believe that when my time comes we will be reunited forever and I look forward to it.
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