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Old 11-13-2017, 10:48 AM
Location: Texas
1,246 posts, read 542,118 times
Reputation: 6613


My mother's father died when she was four years old. Born in the 1920s, her young mother often had to leave her with friends and family for long periods of time while she found work. To give an idea of how disrupted her early life was, she went to 12 schools before she completed the sixth grade.

When she and my dad felt they could buy a house in the early 1950s, one of her desires was to have an address with no more than three or four numerals. The city that she had lived in during her childhood had streets that could run for miles and addresses of five numerals. They found a house in a safe town with a good school district when I was about a year-and-a-half old. The house was on a street only two blocks long and had an address of three numerals. Three more children followed in the next eight years.

Because my mother had been bounced around so much as a child, her other burning desire was to have a stable life for her own children. Bought on a land contract, they did everything they could in the early years to hold onto that house. She and my dad never "upgraded" as so many of their friends and acquaintances did. Each of us went all the way through our school years in the same elementary, junior high and then high school with largely the same groups of our agemates. Determination, careful budgeting, tuna noodle casserole, and returning cans and bottles for deposits at the end of the month did that.

My father died in 1973 when two of my siblings were still minors. My mother went on to outlive him by 35 years. In her last years, she had several confinements to hospital and nursing homes and was a pain in the ass until she could "go home." It was all she wanted. She fired a couple of aides because she didn't like them in her house. The house was difficultly set up for a person whose mobility was changing but she was adamant to stay.

A fall the day before Election Day 2008 started the final slide to death. About two weeks afterward, it became apparent that she would go into hospice and that going home was no longer a possibility. If we could have worked it out so that she could have gone home and come back out feet first, we would have. She died early in the overnight hours of Christmas Day. I was there, had fallen asleep for just an hour, woke up and knew "something" was different in the room. She had slipped out while I slept.

It's now almost nine years that she's been gone. But I can't tell you how often I have seen a particular number on a receipt, glanced at a digital clock AM or PM, a figure on a cash register, reading a book or an article online, opened a random solicitation letter, etc., and there it is.

The number is "256." That, of course, is the address of the house that I grew up in, that my mother tenaciously hung onto for 55 years. You know, just in case we "kids" ever needed to come home.

Who knows why or how these things happen? Who cares if it's my own mind giving me a bit of comfort? Maybe even as an adult of 65 years, I still need a little "something" from my mother. But whenever I see that number, I quickly cut my eyes upward and say a quiet "Hi Mom."
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Old 01-19-2018, 12:19 PM
Location: Camberville
11,394 posts, read 15,991,510 times
Reputation: 18031
My friend died either last Thursday or Friday but wasn't found until Monday. A few weird things have happened.

First, I had a dream about her on Friday. I don't often remember my dreams, and I don't remember at all what happened in this one, but I know she was there.

Even more strange though is the hallway in front of her office. She worked in a suite with 5 other people, but her desk was the only one you could see from the window in the door. The hallway isn't particularly slippery, but no less than 4 people have slipped and fallen directly in front of the door from where you would normally be able to see her working. The head of her department went down so hard on Friday that she needed stitches. One of my close coworkers fell on Tuesday and said it was the strangest thing - she didn't even realize she had fallen until she heard her laptop mouse clatter on the floor. She didn't trip, didn't roll her ankle, just boom - down.

I had a long talk with her best friend of 25 years (since middle school) last night. We were swapping stories and laughing for the first time all week. I told her about these weird oddities and the best friend's response was like, "Well that's just like her! Reminding us that we're all still at work and she's up partying with the angels."

I've never been one to believe in this sort of thing. Nor was she, for that matter. But it's so hard to ignore the coincidence.
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Old 01-20-2018, 12:32 PM
2,301 posts, read 1,114,298 times
Reputation: 2802
since my mom died last year i dream of her often. in my dreams she is happy laughing smiling. i know she is okay. i just do. after those dreams i can be peaceful in waking hours. its hard to function otherwise.
once i even felt her stroking my hair and putting her hand on my forehead. (while i was aleep). she did that often while alive. could be that or i'm hallucinating.
while alive she always told me she will haunt me when she dies.
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Old 01-20-2018, 03:13 PM
Location: SWFL
21,429 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18797
Yesterday morning I woke up knowing that my husband had come to me in my dreams. Sometimes I vividly remember the dream, sometimes not but am left with the feeling of contentment. That was what I felt yesterday. Yesterday, 6 years ago, was the morning he died. Although I am pretty well healed now, I don't enjoy the 19th. I did yesterday though. Besides feeling content, I had a great appointment with a broker from AARP/United Health and got myself the best insurance possible for the same amount I was paying up in Massachusetts 8,9 years ago! This one even has no co-pays for anything! Happy camper.

I now have good thoughts and feelings for the 19th. Hurray! Thank you, Baby. 😗
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Old 01-20-2018, 07:11 PM
3,962 posts, read 5,247,246 times
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That's great Tami! Congratulations.
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Old 01-21-2018, 09:46 AM
Location: SWFL
21,429 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18797
Thank you, GG. 2 days past and I feel really good! Not one ache in my heart. As a matter of fact I just made plans with my gf to go to the Hard Rock up in Tampa for a weekend when her dementia cousin gets placed in the nursing home at the end of the month. My poor gf has not had a respite in 6 years. She is so burned out. I can't wait!!
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Old 01-22-2018, 06:35 PM
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Reputation: 4549
Sounds good. We all know what care givers go through. I'm three years post, and just starting to get a handle on my health. I really let it go while I was care-giving, even though I knew not to do this. I think frequently, especially when I have a good day, how happy my husband would be that I have taken my pain problems seriously and taken action to make myself better.
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Old 01-24-2018, 09:45 AM
Location: SWFL
21,429 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18797
That's great, GG. Once my insurance kicks in, I may just go and have the operation I need on my foot to be able to stand without excruciating pain. If I can get it done with local anesthesia. I'm losing weight slowly too. Now if I could only quit smoking, I would be a very happy camper.
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:33 PM
Status: "Thanks a lot MFBE" (set 1 day ago)
Location: Land of the Tonkawa and Kiowa
3,902 posts, read 1,471,959 times
Reputation: 5449
A few days after my dad passed away last year, he apparently showed up for my wife (who was far away from the rest of us) and talked to her late at night. He reminded her of some things they talked about before, and that everything was good and peaceful. We've also noticed things around the house - moved or changed - that makes us wonder if he's trying to let us know that he's around.
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Old 02-03-2018, 06:01 PM
Location: East Coast
23 posts, read 8,115 times
Reputation: 84
So last night the hubby and I fell asleep down stairs, him on the living room couch and myself on the chaise in the sunroom, anyway we have a 6 month old puppy who we've bell trained. The hubby heard the bells ringing around 4am, got off the couch expecting to find our puppy waiting by the side door and he wasn't there. He looked around and under the tables and no puppy to be found. He came in the sunroom to find myself and the furbaby passed out.

I lost my Mom last March and our sweet Schnauzer mix of 14 years in August. Its my birthday today, so maybe one of them was sending me a bday wish...its a comforting thought regardless if true or not.
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