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Old 08-30-2017, 11:28 PM
Location: Austin, TX
873 posts, read 864,951 times
Reputation: 419


When my Mom passed, my Father did not have enough money for the costs. I was sort of elected to handle everything and pay with my sisters chipping in.

Unbeknownst to my Father, my sister also reached out to my Mom's brother and sister and explained the situation. They both PayPal'd me money.

My Father recently received a settlement and sent a check for the amount. I was surprised to have received it and he would not take it back.

I paid my sisters back. I'm trying to decide how to handle my Aunt and Uncle, at the risk of maybe offending them as I know they really wanted to help which they did. Or, asking my Father what he wants (he doesn't really like my Uncle and he's wealthy as well) and then he might be upset they were aware of his financial situation at the time. Even with the settlement my Father can use the money (which I'd refund) but we shouldn't repay only my Aunt and leave out my Uncle, in my opinion.

Suppose my question after all that is, should I ask him or just go ahead and sent my Aunt and Uncle a check?

Thanks for your time and any input.
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Old 08-31-2017, 11:26 AM
632 posts, read 629,325 times
Reputation: 694
Money means nothing in the afterlife. Why worry about money in the living world?
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Old 08-31-2017, 11:30 AM
Location: North State (California)
28,238 posts, read 2,199,762 times
Reputation: 9852
I think you should reimburse your Aunt & Uncle, if they don't want the money, they won't cash the check. Ask your sisters how they feel, this should be a family decision.
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Old 08-31-2017, 12:18 PM
Location: on the wind
4,155 posts, read 1,546,813 times
Reputation: 14769
I think I would OFFER to repay everyone who helped with the expenses. Do it privately so your Dad doesn't have to get upset once more. Some may welcome the reimbursement, others may not want it. Accept their decisions as there are probably good reasons for them (closure, etc). Unless he demands to know, your Dad doesn't have to know that the uncle and aunt contributed. I think this way everyone feels their contributions were appreciated and no one will end up feeling used (including you).
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