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Old 09-01-2017, 03:56 PM
 
490 posts, read 195,738 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenniferashley View Post
I am fortunate that my parents are still alive. My father is 75 and my mother is 72. My father has really slowed down for the last year and most days he is zoned into the television. My father used to be always in the kitchen preparing a nice steak and reading the paper. These days my mom prepares his frozen dinners and he is just quiet.
It's a sad state to watch one's parents age. I am just curious, to the ones who parent(s) passed how old were you? How did it happen? I guess lately seeing my dad these thoughts start coming up. I moved to this city to be closer to them but lately my future is coming up...what will it be like without my parents.
My mother died at 41 years old of a brain aneurysm when I was 5 years old. My father died at 70 years old of lung cancer when I was35.

I will tell you that although you know it will happen someday (I am referring to my father here), as much warning as you might have for it, you will not be prepared. I wasn't. He was sick for about 3 months and although we could see that he was deteriorating daily and wasn't going to recover, when he passed away I lost it there in the hospital. I couldn't stop crying. But I know not everyone reacts this way and everyone's situation is different.

As far as my mother, I have only a few short memories of her and I only know so much about her. But her loss had a devastating effect on our family and ingrained enough anger in all of us. Overall, my father handled it better as far as the anger, but he never dealt with it. She passed in 1963 and there simply weren't the support groups for men that there are these days.

I can only advise you to try to make the best of the relationships with your parents now and communicate with them while you can.
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Old 09-01-2017, 04:59 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
15,814 posts, read 4,931,904 times
Reputation: 48032
By the time I turned 50, I had lost my entire family.

My father died suddenly of a heart attack when I was 37. It was the day that Mr. Bay and I had planned to be married. We got the call at 5:30 in the morning. I remember thinking, "He can't do this to me. He knew I was getting married today!" It's strange, the things that go through your mind at a time like that.

Dad was well-off, but my stepmother got everything except a hoard of gold and silver that he'd been accumulating for years. I estimate it was worth several hundred thousand dollars. That went to my stepsister, who was a special favorite of Dad's.

Ironically, my stepsister ended up losing the whole thing. She'd made the mistake of mentioning the gold while on her cell phone arguing with her ex-husband. She had stepped outside on her apartment balcony to have the conversation. My theory is that one of her neighbors must have overheard.

My mother was in ill health for the last ten years of her life. She had heart problems, neurological problems and dementia. Her grandson and his family were visiting her from Germany one day when she suddenly passed out and died of heart failure on the way to the hospital. I was 49 at the time.

My older brother, an alcoholic, was my only sibling. He died of cirrhosis of the liver at 45, on the day before my 42nd birthday.
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Old 09-01-2017, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
15,574 posts, read 9,650,106 times
Reputation: 34364
I was 11 when my dad died and probably in my 50's when my mom passed.
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Old 09-01-2017, 05:08 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 940,785 times
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10 years old. Both of my parents died in a car accident, 1989.
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Old 09-01-2017, 05:47 PM
 
9,343 posts, read 8,735,784 times
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Dad 33
Mom 54
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Old 09-01-2017, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Worcester MA
393 posts, read 125,459 times
Reputation: 853
I lost my mother when I was 5 years old. I always feared my dad going too soon but he made it to 91! Sadly he just passed on Monday. I'm 45.
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:02 PM
 
970 posts, read 670,845 times
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Dad died at age 68 when I was 36 and mom at age 77 when I was 44. Felt very empty after they were gone.
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:04 PM
Status: "Happy Birthday to all October babies." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Los Angeles
852 posts, read 463,650 times
Reputation: 2078
I was 44 when my parents died. They died 5 mos apart. My mother had both legs amputated due to vascular disease then she got a diagnosis of Bladder Cancer in 1996. Dad had been in a nursing home as he had dementia. Our parents died in 1997. Mom was 66 and dad was 70....Took me years to come to terms with their deaths. I mourned for a long time. Was very hard. My sisters and I were with mom for a week (hospice) taking turns caring for her around the clock. She was gone in just one week after taking her off all her medications. It made us all stronger women.
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:05 PM
Status: "Happy Birthday to all October babies." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Los Angeles
852 posts, read 463,650 times
Reputation: 2078
My heart goes out to all of you!
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:04 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 2,145,909 times
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I was 46 when my Bio dad passed. He was 75.

It was four days after I turned 50 that My mother passed. She was 77.

to this day I suffer from PTSD from the events that led up to her death.
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