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Old 10-09-2017, 09:13 PM
Location: Majestic Wyoming
499 posts, read 241,472 times
Reputation: 1345


My dad died of pancreatic cancer when I was 23. He was only 52. His death really hit me hard, made me evaluate what I wanted out of life. My husband and I started trying for a child shortly after his death.

My mom is still alive, and my grandmother just celebrated her 90th birthday last month.
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Old 10-09-2017, 11:16 PM
Location: Sandpoint, Idaho
2,880 posts, read 5,071,331 times
Reputation: 3020
Originally Posted by jenniferashley View Post
I am fortunate that my parents are still alive. My father is 75 and my mother is 72. My father has really slowed down for the last year and most days he is zoned into the television. My father used to be always in the kitchen preparing a nice steak and reading the paper. These days my mom prepares his frozen dinners and he is just quiet.
It's a sad state to watch one's parents age. I am just curious, to the ones who parent(s) passed how old were you? How did it happen? I guess lately seeing my dad these thoughts start coming up. I moved to this city to be closer to them but lately my future is coming up...what will it be like without my parents.
F: 29--heart attack
M: 52--old age

enjoy them while they are still with you, even if they do not appear to be so happy.
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Old 10-10-2017, 04:07 AM
Location: Texas or Cascais, Portugal
3,045 posts, read 2,883,961 times
Reputation: 7257
I was eight when my mother dies. Dad is still kicking at 93.
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:55 PM
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,702 posts, read 21,750,727 times
Reputation: 27757
I was in my 30s when dad died, firties when mom died. At least I had that much.
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Old 10-10-2017, 10:27 PM
3,962 posts, read 5,248,587 times
Reputation: 4549
My dad died at age 65 when I was 26.
My mom died at age 91 when I was 60.
My husband died at age 65 when I was 62.
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Old 10-11-2017, 03:30 AM
Location: Canada
5,125 posts, read 3,636,143 times
Reputation: 13519
I was just 10 when my dad died from a massive heart attack. (he was 47) He'd had Scarlet fever when he was young (before antibiotics) and it damaged his heart. We were on a family trip and he suddenly passed away when we were fueling up at a gas station.

Since that day, I mourned losing him and feel cheated that I wasn't able to get to know my father for longer, and remember him better.

I was 36 when my mom passed away from kidney failure. She was the rock of our family after my father died. She was amazing in taking care of 4 kids and going back to working a full time job so we could keep our childhood house. We kids became her life, and sadly she never remarried.
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Old 11-08-2017, 02:30 PM
56 posts, read 20,908 times
Reputation: 81
Mom: 33
Dad: don't know he is a deadbeat. All I know is his name and birthday.
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Old 11-12-2017, 06:43 PM
Location: Texas
1,247 posts, read 543,362 times
Reputation: 6628
I was 21 and at college when I got a call just three weeks after he had driven me back to school. My dad had gone to work that morning and suffered a heart attack. He was 58. It was Tuesday, September 11, 1973, and that date was my family's private day of grief until the 9-11 attacks in 2001; also a Tuesday. In the intervening years, it was the first thing I thought of when I awoke on that date. After 2001, the date was shared by millions. I had three younger siblings, 18, 14, and 12. We just had to buck up and go on the best we could; my mom was pretty no-nonsense and I'm sure she thought it was the best way forward.

My mother outlived my dad by 35 years. On the day before Election Day 2008, she had just come home from buying a hamburger lunch from a little joint that had operated in my hometown for 50 years. She fell on the concrete porch and laid there for some time hidden from the street. Some people doing last minute electioneering happened by and called 9-1-1. First, she was in the hospital and then a week or so later, transferred to a nursing home. Around Thanksgiving, it became apparent that she was not going to improve and more than a broken hip was going on and was referred to hospice. I had gotten into town a week earlier. Fortunately, I was able to use vacation time and notified my office I wouldn't be back when they were expecting me.

She died in the early overnight hours of Christmas Day. I was there with her as it had gotten late Christmas Eve and had snowed so I decided to stay. I fell asleep for just an hour and woke up knowing something was "different" in the room. She was 86. I was 57.

I miss her daily but feel that 86 years is a pretty good run. She'd been having a few more health problems her last 10 years, including a bypass at 79. With the last fall and subsequent decline, there was no way she would have been able to go home to her house. If we could have worked it so that she could have been carried out feet first, we would have.

My mother's father had died when she was just four years old and though her mother loved her very much, my mother was bounced around to relatives and friends as her mother worked in the 1920s and 30s. When she and my dad were able to buy their house in a safe town and good school district on a land contract in the 1950s, they did everything they could to hang onto it. They never upgraded like some of their friends. My mother's one intent was to have a stable life for her kids, unlike the one she had – going to 12 schools by the sixth grade. She hung onto that house just in case any of us ever had to "come home." All she wanted was to be able to be in that house and the few times she had to be in a nursing home situation or even have an aide come in, she'd been a miserable cuss.

Better for her to go when she did than to continue to live a reduced life that would have made her unhappy every day.

Those of us who had good parents are actually quite lucky – even when some of them made their exit far too early and we are left to miss them terribly.
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Old 11-16-2017, 01:15 PM
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
3,271 posts, read 5,889,977 times
Reputation: 3353
My parents died when I was 14, they were murdered. My grandparents died a year after getting my graduate degree. My prayer was that my grandparents remain alive to see me walk across the stage and receive my graduate degree, which they were able to do.
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Old 11-16-2017, 07:37 PM
1,141 posts, read 1,326,570 times
Reputation: 2385
Oh no, Northside! I'm so sorry. I'm glad your prayer was answered. My parents haven't passed, yet. My husband's mom died when he was 6; his dad is still alive.
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