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Old 09-10-2017, 07:00 PM
 
107 posts, read 60,464 times
Reputation: 541

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My husband died on 5/1/15 so it's not all that recent but I can't seem to get passed it.

I love to tell the story because to me it was just so romantic. A little background, we met later in life, I was 46 and he was 55. Not long after meeting, he had heart failure and had a triple bypass and a pig valve put in his heart. We talked about our hopes and dreams and in the meantime, we buried his parents and his only sibling. It was just the two of us.

I came home from a little part time job that I had in a greenhouse and he met me on the porch with a cold beer in each hand. I laughed because although I was not opposed to a cold beer, he didn't drink. He said, I want to have a beer with you and take the dogs for a walk. So we did. He told me on the walk that he really hadn't made anything for dinner and would I mind if we just had grilled cheese and tomato soup. When I responded that I thought that was a great idea, I couldn't believe those words were coming from my mouth since I don't like grilled cheese and tomato soup. He said great! you make the sandwiches and I'll make the soup. So we ate and it was really, really good.

I told him that I was so tired and I was going to lay in bed for about an hour and then get up and take a bath. Well, when i woke up, it was midnight and he was watching tv.

I walked into the kitchen and he came in and said, okay, changing of the guard, i'm going to bed and I said I was going to stay up on the computer. He took my face in his hands and told me that he loved me and I said I know you do and he said no I don't think you do. I really really love you and I said ok silly go to bed and he did. I went in at 7 in the morning to get that bath that I needed and found him dead.

I love that we had such a simple no nonsense night and he had a beer for me and I had a grilled cheese and soup for him. It may sound corny to some but to me it's the memory of a lifetime.
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Old 09-10-2017, 11:51 PM
 
3,921 posts, read 5,208,477 times
Reputation: 4506
Its a lovely story. Its a story of real intimacy, of closeness and the comfort that comes with trust. It is no wonder that you miss him.

My husband died almost exactly 6 months before yours. I have been doing pretty well, but the last few weeks I have been really lonely. I go out with a friend or friends to lunch or dinner at least twice a week, work about two half days a week, and have other meetings, go to church, etc. But I am still by my self at home. I miss the intimacy you describe. It is the joy of being together, even when you aren't doing anything exciting. It is the warm comfort of love in the small things of life that I miss. So truly, I understand what you are saying. We cling to those memories. We wistfully remember the sweetness. Its echo lingers...
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Old 09-11-2017, 04:29 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,550 posts, read 4,718,335 times
Reputation: 16333
Thanks for sharing your story. I don't find it corny at all.
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Old 09-11-2017, 11:39 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
5,011 posts, read 2,843,969 times
Reputation: 9276
You have a very good memory of your last hours together. I hope (and assume) you have many more of your other days together. I'm sorry for your loss...it is still very real after these two years and it will always be with you but maybe not so painful. I hope so. You seem to be a good and expressive writer. Writing about your loss and your life together is sort of a form of therapy. Sometimes you will smile and sometimes laugh which will put the pain in perspective. The thoughts and feelings come through your head and out through your fingers via a pen or a keyboard. Sometimes that little release is like making something permanent that you are afraid might get lost over time.
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Old 09-11-2017, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,423 posts, read 2,237,814 times
Reputation: 1811
Such a sweet and loving story. It really is the little things like you had on your last night together that stick with us forever. This is true love. Lost my hubby a year ago August 19th. It really does not matter how long they have been gone. Always in our hearts. I lost my first husband 47 years ago next Monday. our wedding anniversary was yesterday. Even though I did have another long wonderful relationship he is also still very much in my heart.

Thank you for sharing this.
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:35 AM
 
107 posts, read 60,464 times
Reputation: 541
The pain runs so deep.

I have had a relative tell me that we were only together 12 years so why am I taking this so hard. She says that she has been with her husband 49 years but all she does is complain about him. Yes, I only had 12 years but I cherished every day and I loved him so much that a grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup doesn't seem to give such a wonderful man the final send off but that is what he wanted.

Oh God, how do you get past this pain?
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:41 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,445,067 times
Reputation: 61800
OP,
Incredibly lovely, romantic, giving, loving moments for you to share with each other.
Thank you for sharing those moments with us here.


Actually I am going to have Cheese Toastie and Tomato Soup for breakfast today when I get around to fixing breakfast.
I will have it in honor of you and your beloved Husband.
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:45 AM
 
5,704 posts, read 4,549,648 times
Reputation: 4093
Quote:
Originally Posted by thenwhatareyou View Post
My husband died on 5/1/15 so it's not all that recent but I can't seem to get passed it.

I love to tell the story because to me it was just so romantic. A little background, we met later in life, I was 46 and he was 55. Not long after meeting, he had heart failure and had a triple bypass and a pig valve put in his heart. We talked about our hopes and dreams and in the meantime, we buried his parents and his only sibling. It was just the two of us.

I came home from a little part time job that I had in a greenhouse and he met me on the porch with a cold beer in each hand. I laughed because although I was not opposed to a cold beer, he didn't drink. He said, I want to have a beer with you and take the dogs for a walk. So we did. He told me on the walk that he really hadn't made anything for dinner and would I mind if we just had grilled cheese and tomato soup. When I responded that I thought that was a great idea, I couldn't believe those words were coming from my mouth since I don't like grilled cheese and tomato soup. He said great! you make the sandwiches and I'll make the soup. So we ate and it was really, really good.

I told him that I was so tired and I was going to lay in bed for about an hour and then get up and take a bath. Well, when i woke up, it was midnight and he was watching tv.

I walked into the kitchen and he came in and said, okay, changing of the guard, i'm going to bed and I said I was going to stay up on the computer. He took my face in his hands and told me that he loved me and I said I know you do and he said no I don't think you do. I really really love you and I said ok silly go to bed and he did. I went in at 7 in the morning to get that bath that I needed and found him dead.

I love that we had such a simple no nonsense night and he had a beer for me and I had a grilled cheese and soup for him. It may sound corny to some but to me it's the memory of a lifetime.

Not corny at all...
What I thought when I read your story was "This is Love."


He took a piece of you with him. (He had to.)
Keep that empty spot you have now, filled with all of HIS love for YOU.
This will get you through each day.

Love is real.
Love never ends.

peace,
sparrow
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,281 posts, read 32,193,690 times
Reputation: 56381
OP, thank you so much for sharing that beautiful, touching story. I am so glad you and your husband found each other and had such a sweet, tender relationship. It doesn't matter if it was 62 or 22 or 12 or 2 years - when you find your soulmate and that sweetness, it's incredible - and to lose it cuts to the bone regardless of how long you were together.
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:51 AM
 
107 posts, read 60,464 times
Reputation: 541
Thank you so much. I don't know how much to tell you what that means to me.
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