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Old 09-18-2017, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,010 posts, read 5,316,016 times
Reputation: 9661

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CTwoodnutt View Post
<>I just lost my dear Wife Eileen, of 27 years of marriage, plus the additional 10 years of just knowing her, and dating, six months ago, March 29th.
<>
Set your own pace, be comfortable.
The FIL was chatting up the ladies at the ALF at the wake.
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Old 09-18-2017, 08:22 PM
 
848 posts, read 447,619 times
Reputation: 3253
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Often 1 yr +.

Don't rush it or permit others to rush you. I know several widowed men (including FIL) who made very poor choices with innocent gold diggers who made them miserable and broke.

There are also many great success stories. Each of us will be different. Wait till you are ready, and it is right. Purpose to find friends and enjoy them.

I never dated, nor will I. Neither did my kids or spouse. There are much richer / genuine ways to find and grow relationships. Dating is not one of them. But it is the path most take
This is very good advice. In the earlier stages of grief I have seen men be so desperate to get rid of their pain that they fall into relationships they later regret. It's easy to forget that the new person is totally different than the deceased spouse and the momentary happiness of not being alone anymore is trumped by many other problems after marriage.
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Old 09-18-2017, 08:37 PM
 
3,967 posts, read 5,260,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coloradomom22 View Post
This is very good advice. In the earlier stages of grief I have seen men be so desperate to get rid of their pain that they fall into relationships they later regret. It's easy to forget that the new person is totally different than the deceased spouse and the momentary happiness of not being alone anymore is trumped by many other problems after marriage.
I think this is excellent advice. The bottom line is that getting a new mate should never be used as a "cure" for grief. My feeling is that you adjust to your new life alone, wait until your grief is decreased to the point that it doesn't interfere with your life. Then be open to new relationships.
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Old 09-19-2017, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,647 posts, read 3,336,843 times
Reputation: 12754
You'll know when the time is right. Sorry for your loss!
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