U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-19-2017, 11:22 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,428 posts, read 2,255,253 times
Reputation: 1826

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
I'm not dead, or dying, or even sick, but I am doing a major move, and getting rid of all this stuff is a real challenge.
Lots is being donated to rummage sales, goodwill, the reuse center at the dump.
Smallish items of value are going on ebay.
Larger items of value go on Craigslist.

Part of the problem is that it has emotional as well as monetary value to ME. I just agreed to ship a bunch of zippers and thread to a total stranger in Arizona for a charitable project. I'll lose money on the deal, since I'm paying shipping as well as giving the stuff away free, but I get the satisfaction of knowing my treasures will be used and valued. Of course, if you were my kids (I don't have any of those), you wouldn't have an attachment to my 3000+ buttons, and could just give them away. That would make it a lot easier.
3000+ buttons. OMG I am an artist those buttons would make some amazing art. LOL I have also shipped things off to charitable ventures. Even paying the shipping it gives to those that will put them to the use we intended but never got around to. Kudos for you.

I have also done literally tons of downsizing. I was close to a hoarder now very far from it. Always a clean type hoarder. Just lots of things. I have no family BUT in the end everything that is left is in trust to Best Friends Animal Rescue. Everything...... house/garage property and contents and my animals that are left to be cared for for their life in exchange for my whole estate. I do have some not terribly valuable collectibles but nice small collections of the vintage deer and half a dozen nice very vintage and antique vases. A few nice art prints well cared for. I am no longer collecting and will keep my collections after having down sized even them. I am sure they can be sold to raise more money . BFAR said they have people that do this for them. Their attorney said keep what makes me happy. They will deal with it. A few things I also need to label cause one thing especially looks like an old welded metal goat but it is a special art piece so I have been told that cost over $500. I did not buy it. Was a gift to FIL and passed down to son and now to me. And I LOVE it. LOL

I have helped clear out a few friends places. I will say one of my very dear friends had lost her folks and three other close friends and ended up with so much of their stuff stored over the years she is now physically sick and depressed because she is overwhelmed with all she has accumulated. She is not really a hoarder but has a hard time not taking things in instead of just disposing of them right away. I feel so sorry for her and she keeps saying every year for at least the last 10 maybe 15 years she is going to clear the stuff out and she continues to keep putting the same stuff out at her yard sales that has been picked over for 10 years and not ditching all of it after each yard sale. She says she will but never does. So this stuff can actually make a person ill. I would love to just take it off her hands and deal with it. It is not like she needs the $$ she does not. They even own a pawn shop and the stuff could be going out that direction but she just pushes it around at home. Very sad. I lover her dearly but can not push her or she snaps. Not mean like she is just at breaking point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-19-2017, 11:41 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
3,410 posts, read 1,966,328 times
Reputation: 10042
When my Dad passed, the job of cleaning out his house fell to me (my sisters live out of town). It was a difficult & heart-wrenching experience. The big things were easy. I sold his classic T-Bird and gave his everyday car to my niece. His model ships were donated to the Oxnard Maritime Museum where they still stand today. His shop full of ship building tools were sold/given to his friends in the little ship modelers club he belonged to and the WALLS of books were donated to libraries. I made a pile for myself in the garage. Generations of photos, war souvenirs, even the Christmas ornaments I grew up with. The pile was huge, which got me to thinking. My Son (and sole heir) doesn't even want MY crap when I die (and I have some really cool crap). He has as much as told me that my entire watch collection will be on EBay before I achieve room temperature. So, after a lot of deliberation, I decided to just keep a few personal items that he always carried with him plus some photos. I rationalized my decision by realizing that this was HIS stuff, it gave HIS life meaning. It was really never meant to belong to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,428 posts, read 2,255,253 times
Reputation: 1826
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
This article was floating around elsewhere on C-D.

When Boomers Inherit Their Parents Possessions
This is a GREAT link with several other links to follow. Thanks! I am Only through the first page. It all makes sense. Or more sense. The younger generation have out lived what we valued as the older generation collectibles. So my favorite little deer are probably less valuable then the little value I put on them. Even so for me I enjoy seeing them every day on my shelf behind glass because us old times have every thing behind glass Hahaha. It is a hoarding joke. And I did get rid of at least 1/3 of the collection. So now I can really view all of them to enjoy.

This discussion does make me want to take yet another pass through my house and clear stuff out. I actually have several empty drawers in the house. I cleared enough out of my kitchen to store all my winter supply of animal food in three bottom cabinets. Used to have canning supplies there. I no longer can. Every time it gets easier to purge. I always keep a box for things on their way out the door. I actually keep it in the garage so on trips to town and I know I will have a little time I will drop off a full box of stuff. I now have lots of clothes to go . Did a serious closet purge last week.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 01:30 AM
Status: "Free at last!" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Somwhere
3,128 posts, read 1,224,267 times
Reputation: 8071
Marie Hondo (The Art of Tidying) says only to keep things that spark joy. That's working for me--stuff that doesn't is now in piles labeled "ebay" "womens club rummage sale" "boys and girls club" and "reuse center" Those piles are huge, my "keep" pile is pretty small.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 06:12 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,121 posts, read 3,940,319 times
Reputation: 18812
My late husband and I used to have two storage rooms filled with all kinds of stuff: probably a hundred Beanie Babies that one of my kids collected but outgrew, a yard fountain, bench, lawnmower, my wedding dress, Christmas stuff and all manner of other things that people don't want in their house but don't want to throw out.


Then he died and I couldn't afford to pay for both of these units and I lost everything. Since then I don't collect or save anything that I have no need for or use. It taught me a lesson about "things".


I do still have a couple of my husband's sports coats and a shirt that belonged to my late father that he wore all the time. But in the greater scheme of things I doubt any of us will be on our death beds lamenting the fact that we didn't collect or save more stuff.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now a Rehoboth Beach Bunny
7,248 posts, read 9,611,848 times
Reputation: 6923
Sheets and towels the animal shelter will take. Ditto on homeless shelters, they may also take pots, pans and dishes depending upon the shelter. Many churches have social ministry arms that will take stuff like that. You can also have a tag sale person come in and run a tag for you. They will operate off a split on the commission.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 09:52 AM
 
18,870 posts, read 6,167,967 times
Reputation: 12697
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
All my close relatives died. Parents, grands, and last my H. I ended up with everyone's stuff. It took me 5 years to be able to park a car in my garage and I still have stuff to get rid of. If you really care about your heirs, get rid of all the stuff! I know my relatives would all be unhappy if they knew that almost a decade later I am still getting rid of their stuff!
It just makes TOO MUCH SENSE to not take a bunch of stuff from others, as we have to end up getting rid of it anyway. More burdens. My sister took some stuff from our parents' home and I know it just stayed in their basement for years....she was a collector and always had HUGE yard sales. She's passed now so her daughter has a bunch of stuff to get rid of etc etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 09:55 AM
 
18,870 posts, read 6,167,967 times
Reputation: 12697
Quote:
Originally Posted by shades_of_idaho View Post
This is a GREAT link with several other links to follow. Thanks! I am Only through the first page. It all makes sense. Or more sense. The younger generation have out lived what we valued as the older generation collectibles. So my favorite little deer are probably less valuable then the little value I put on them. Even so for me I enjoy seeing them every day on my shelf behind glass because us old times have every thing behind glass Hahaha. It is a hoarding joke. And I did get rid of at least 1/3 of the collection. So now I can really view all of them to enjoy.

This discussion does make me want to take yet another pass through my house and clear stuff out. I actually have several empty drawers in the house. I cleared enough out of my kitchen to store all my winter supply of animal food in three bottom cabinets. Used to have canning supplies there. I no longer can. Every time it gets easier to purge. I always keep a box for things on their way out the door. I actually keep it in the garage so on trips to town and I know I will have a little time I will drop off a full box of stuff. I now have lots of clothes to go . Did a serious closet purge last week.
OH I have empty drawers and even pretty empty kitchen cupboards...I just paid a friend who is out of work now some money to clear out one cupboard. I don't entertain anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,062,031 times
Reputation: 20460
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
This is the hardest thing for me. I had a relative pass away a few weeks ago and the task fell to me to clean out her house.

This woman was definitely a collector, just shy of a hoarder and accumulated 85 years of items in a 1400 square foot space. I really don't want any of this stuff, save a few pieces of jewelry. None of my relatives want it either. So donate/dumpster is the option.

Unsentimental as I tend to be, it still always bothers me to throw out the collection of a lifetime. There is a lot of care that goes into what most people fill their houses with, and it just seems wrong to trash it. But as I have no room to store this stuff, nor use for it, that is the option in many cases. I know its just "stuff" but it meant something to someone I care about.

I guess the question is, is there anyone out there who feels this way too? What do you do about it? I have plans to start giving away my possessions as I get older, instead of getting more, so that someone doesn't have to come to this cross roads after I am gone.
I bag/box up what can be donated and have it picked up. Whatever is trash, I throw away. If there's enough for a yard sale and I feel like doing one, I will do that. There's also companies who do estate sales so you don't have to deal with nearly as much stuff.

Everyone has stuff. And it's just stuff. Most of it no one else would want so off it goes. This is part of one dying. Happens to everyone no matter how much they had.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2017, 10:25 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
5,115 posts, read 2,925,888 times
Reputation: 9434
My wife collected Santa Clauses. She had about 300 or so of every description and would put them out on display at Christmas. After she died the holidays were hard enough without putting out 300 Santa Clauses so I ignored them for a couple years. Finally I sold my house and had to decide what to do with them. My daughter kept a couple and I kept about a dozen and sold the rest to a real estate agent I know who uses them to dress up houses she is selling for the Christmas season. The little guys went to work selling houses.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top