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Old 09-20-2017, 07:18 PM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,373,641 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shades_of_idaho View Post
And this is exactly what I keep thinking about my own stuff even though all of it is going to the Animal Rescue. I am still really enjoying the things I have kept . I also keep in mind a lot of my stuff is animal related as in bedding and throw covers to keep animal hair off couches. Piles of pretty spreads I do use often as the throw covers. Rugs towels and blankets and kennels that the rescue can use for their animals and all in good shape or I would not be keeping and using them.

Even so I need to be totally honest with myself and shed some more just stuff. In the whole scheme of things when everything is purged and organized into logical places and all like things together it makes it easier for me to find some thing when looking for it even if I do not remember exactly where I put it. You all know those perfectly safe places so some thing does not get lost that you can never find again. When ever I get a magazine in the mail I pull my name off of it and leave it at the post office for some one else to read. Magazines are not allowed in my house. LOL I only bring home an add paper when my stash of news papers gets low. Again leaving them in the recycle bin at post office. I rarely use the adds. My shopping is very limited.

I so hope when I am gone I do not make some one mad because of my stuff. When I no longer use hubbies tools they will go too. I have always used his tools about as much as he did so I have kept all of that. A few things I did not even know what they were I boxed up and took to one of his good friends and he was happy to have them. Books were purged years ago. I LOVE my Kindle and also put the kindle app on my laptop and other little tablet. Best thing since sliced bread.
Awww you sound like too nice of a person for anyone to get mad at. Just so you don't leave your daughter heavy Sears Catalogs to carry out to the curb 6 weeks in a row, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Enjoy using your stuff! useful or just sentimental. My grandmother always said about daily use of her 12 piece china set: "Use it! No company's coming here who's any better than us."

I have a whole closet of her >100 year old cut glass I don't have the heart to throw out. My only sentimental thing. I'ts been carried around with me for over 40 years LOL. So eventually my son will get stuck with it.

This is funny. I told him to have me cremated and put my ashes with the dogs' in the urn. He goes: "MOM! I am NOT getting stuck carrying you guys' ashes around for the rest of my life."
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Old 09-20-2017, 07:34 PM
 
25,800 posts, read 49,685,561 times
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After your gone does it really matter?

I own 50 assorted vehicles... now that will be fun for someone to go through.

Half are finished/restored antiques and the rest are projects or vehicles I just like.

Thought about paring the collection down to just a handful and it is easy to come up with a list of the ones that I would hang onto... and liquidating might be a nice project in retirement.

Keepers for sure would be the 1905 Curved Dash Olds, Model T Speedster, Model A Roadster, assorted Bantams, 61 Corvette, and the convertibles... so maybe the remaining 80% could go???

Then there is my machine shop and tools for restoration... probably little to no interest around for real tools...

Right now I think it will all go at one auction/liquidation to the highest bidders after my demise.
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Old 09-20-2017, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Somewhere, out there in Zone7B
4,535 posts, read 5,824,443 times
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Let an estate auction person come in and assess what's there, let them sell what they can, whether it be an actual estate sale, or as some places in my area do, have online auctions at the auction house's location.


Or, donate to a worthy organization with a thrift store (sorry, I don't think GW or SA is good anymore) maybe an organization for batter woman's shelter, or animal shelter.


Throwing it all away is such a waste, someone could benefit from such an amount of items. Also, you may be throwing away something quite valuable and not realize it.


Just my 2 cents
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Old 09-20-2017, 08:17 PM
 
25,800 posts, read 49,685,561 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eldemila View Post
Throwing it all away is such a waste, someone could benefit from such an amount of items. Also, you may be throwing away something quite valuable and not realize it.
I think this is the real dilemma/stress many speak about... the fear of tossing something of value or the being put out having to do the legwork to maximize recovery.

Too many simply would prefer CD and a Stock Portfolio to divvy up and call it a day...

The work comes in when having to sleuth, educate/research, sort, dispose, market, store, catalog, etc... it really can be time consuming and failing to put in the work can cause tremendous guilt and/or resentment as well as wishing for the legacy to simply be gift wrapped with a bow... requiring no more effort than a Sell Order or closing a Bank Account.
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Old 09-20-2017, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,428 posts, read 2,252,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Awww you sound like too nice of a person for anyone to get mad at. Just so you don't leave your daughter heavy Sears Catalogs to carry out to the curb 6 weeks in a row, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Enjoy using your stuff! useful or just sentimental. My grandmother always said about daily use of her 12 piece china set: "Use it! No company's coming here who's any better than us."

I have a whole closet of her >100 year old cut glass I don't have the heart to throw out. My only sentimental thing. I'ts been carried around with me for over 40 years LOL. So eventually my son will get stuck with it.

This is funny. I told him to have me cremated and put my ashes with the dogs' in the urn. He goes: "MOM! I am NOT getting stuck carrying you guys' ashes around for the rest of my life."

You made me laugh about the ashes. Hubby told me before he died DO NOT BURY him in the cemetery. After caring for the cemeteries for so long he had had enough of them. Me too. Then he said it would be fine to flush him down the toilet. EEEKK What if I had to have it pumped.!!! So they are in the bottom drawer of his dresser next to the bed. It is comforting to have him there. When I make my final arrangement which I should do soon I will arrange to have us scattered together. Not sure how to work that out. Do I go down for the count holding his ashes in my hands to be sure he goes out with me?? Maybe a sticky note on my forehead??

I actually have no one, children family nothing. I have a birth family in the middle of the USA but I have not seen any of them in over 20 years. Not counting on help from them. Hoping I stay strong and healthy for a long time to come. Like hubby I hope to go out of this house feet first. I granted his wish I hope some how he can pull some strings up there and grant mine. A little scary but I do not dwell on it. I have too much to live for right now.

My life is not over yet. I choose to continue ;

https://www.flickr.com/photos/501856...in/dateposted/
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Old 09-20-2017, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,514 posts, read 3,772,562 times
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My uncle died almost a year ago. He was a funny, creative and artistic man and I miss him. He had no family, and his sister, my mother, was not capable of administering his estate, such as it was. It fell to me and my immediate family to clean out the 800 sq ft loft/apartment he had lived in for 25 years. You'd be amazed what could be stuffed in a 800 sf apartment. He had a myriad of knicknacks from theatre performances over his many years of theatre.

He had several close friends who had taken care of him during his sudden and ultimately fatal illness. I gave them first choice of things that they would like as mementos. They chose generally personal things, things that they had a history with. Then we arranged the memorial service for a couple of weeks away (one of the designated cleaning weekends.)

Now, my uncle loved Christmas. Each year, it would take him three months to decorate his apartment -- it was on several Christmas home tours over the years, because every available corner and niche was decorated, even the stairs, and he had one 12 foot tree and FOUR 3-4 ft. trees. EVERY tree had a theme -- old movies, angels, exquisite handmade ornaments, etc., in perfect taste. Each ornament was packed carefully away each year. There were about 30-40 decent size boxes, probably almost 1,000 ornaments when all was said and done (stored under the eaves of the loft, the trees were stored in a shed out back). The family chose the ornaments that they would like to keep, and then we took the remaining ornaments to the memorial service and allowed the attendees to choose the ornaments they wanted. Lots and lots of ornaments found new homes with delighted friends and acquaintances. The rest were taken by a friend of his who said that she was going to sell them at a Christmas sale later in the year, and donate the proceeds to the local theater. That was fine by me (and if she wanted to keep the money, that was fine, too -- I didn't have have to deal with them.)

But, in the end, the various collections and articles were only meaningful to my uncle, not to anyone else. The odd picture from Puerto Rico brought back memories for him - but to us, it was just a brightly painted picture with a tropical theme. The mugs -- no meaning. Paintings from friends who had passed on before him -- no meaning. They gave him pleasure while he was alive, and so they had served their purpose.

Long story to illustrate -- don't feel guilty for disposing of her things. They are mostly meaningless to you. Find someone to either buy the estate in bulk or dispose of it -- don't feel that you have to cling to them to memorialize her. You aren't going to need her stuff to remember her.
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Old 09-20-2017, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,514 posts, read 3,772,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
I am in the process of trying to make sure my children don't have to go through junk. It is called downsizing. We have friends that sell estate items and know how to target what might be valuable. My husband is a collector on the scale of almost being a hoarder. If he goes first, I will be having yard sales and donating. Until then, I am doing the best I can at downsizing without causing him to have a stroke.
There was a couple that lived across the street from us. Her husband was a bit of a hoarder -- they never parked in their garage, because it was filled to the brim with junk. Literally, a wall of junk. Whenever we'd have a yard sale, he'd ask if he could bring "a few things over to see if they'd sell". They never did. :-) He died suddenly, on a Thursday night, and I was a little surprised to see a GotJunk truck pulled up to the garage Saturday morning, with things being tossed in it all day long. At the end of the day, the garage was clean. The funeral was the next day. I always wondered just how frustrated his wife was with his hoarding tendencies that she felt that she had to get rid of all that stuff THAT DAY.
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,428 posts, read 2,252,516 times
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Lovely story about your uncle dblackga. And wonderful to share the ornaments at his memorial with friends. Reminded me of............

I had a dear friend for many years. She was like the best Mom a person could ever want to me but not my Mom. I loved her and her hubby. Anyway when the family was finished choosing items from their house after she passed. He passed several years before. I had asked right off after her passing if no one wanted her old TV trays I would love to have them. She used them every day and there was also a stand. 4 trays with legs. They are a lovely pale jade green with beautiful flowers on them. Her daughter called me one day to come get the trays. After all of the four children and umteen grand children had made their choices no one wanted the trays and they were mine. I actually hung one on my kitchen wall. Just the tray not the legs duh.

Then the daughter offered for me to take anything else I wanted as the family really was done. And in one room sat this darling little cupboard either her father or uncle had made for her when she went away to high school . I believe she graduated in 1929. I remember her telling me about it and how proud she was of it and even all through the years had always kept it. It was close to her heart and I am sure they all had heard her tell the stories about it. The sides were coming apart , painted a yucky brown, and no one wanted this. I actually needed a shelf this exact size in my own kitchen so I took it home repaired it and painted it and adore it because I will use it to the end and love it as she did. I also took an odd assortment of her glass dishes mostly lids with no bottoms and did a lovely mosaic privacy window for my master bath. I added some of my little glass bits to it so the window is treasurers from both of us together.

Cabinet. I added the lace curtain to the front. And the little glass cabinet on top has a couple of Louises things in it.https://www.flickr.com/photos/501856...in/dateposted/

And the window made from her glass treasures most would call just junk.https://www.flickr.com/photos/501856...n/photostream/

One thing I am very careful about doing is to not bring a piece of crap home that I will do some thing with some day. If I do not feel I can put it to immediate use I will not drag it home. I also had to get rid of some thing because when some thing new comes into the house some thing else has to go out of the house. I sent a drop leaf table to neighbors that gladly took it in. This was my exchange for wanting and bringing in the smaller beloved cabinet. Pretty good switch and I even down sized weight and size wise. Hahaha Nothing went out for the window as it does not take up floor space. LOL
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Old 09-21-2017, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
4,102 posts, read 4,992,344 times
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Call Habitat for Humanity or another such service.
I'm unsure how they'd handle this but perhaps they would come and take a lot of it off your hands for a resale store..

Going through a deceased relatives personal belongings is not easy.
I wish you the best in your situation..
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Old 09-21-2017, 09:52 AM
 
11,686 posts, read 13,074,643 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
....I guess the question is, is there anyone out there who feels this way too? What do you do about it? I have plans to start giving away my possessions as I get older, instead of getting more, so that someone doesn't have to come to this cross roads after I am gone.
I'm knocking on eighty's door. I have gone through probably 99% of my inherited photos and documents, my own personal records, letters, photos, etc. etc. I offered a small amount to cousins, a very small amount of collections and the rest I ripped into pieces and put out with the trash. This is not a job that someone else should be doing and feel guilty or maudlin about.

I'm in the process of getting rid of pieces of furniture that I don't use or would end up in a resale shop by selling in the resale shop myself.

What is left is new, good condition furniture and expensive Oriental rugs and antique art.

I keep my all my books and music until death, and I left a bit of money to the person who has to get rid of them...a not hideous task with several charity shops in the neighborhood.
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