U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 10-26-2017, 06:09 PM
Status: "I'm late because I don't want to be here." (set 5 days ago)
991 posts, read 541,671 times
Reputation: 2035


I post about this book every so often: it's called "Goodbye, Friend". Can't remember authors name.
I suffered from pet loss and couldn.t get past it. I wondered what good a book would do, typical self-help mumbo jumbo.
But it.s not.
It was a total comfort to read and got my head straightened out for good.
No I.m not the author (how I wish).
Get it and pass it on!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 10-30-2017, 07:38 AM
Location: NYC
2,490 posts, read 3,818,746 times
Reputation: 2138
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I was like this when our Brittany died suddenly. Its the shock of the suddenness that makes it harder, I think. When a pet is sick for awhile, were more prepared. A favorite cat got hit by a car once, and both Dh and I sobbed for days and mourned for months.
I agree the suddenness makes it so much worse. It was such a nightmare, he had something called "saddle thrombus" which is common in male cats and just strikes suddenly. We woke up to him screaming at 4AM and rushed him to emergency vet but there was nothing they could do. So horrible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-12-2018, 04:24 PM
Location: East Coast
23 posts, read 8,168 times
Reputation: 84
We lost our beloved 14 year old schnauzer mix in August. He was such a comfort to me when my mother passed last March, I truly didn't know if I could go on with out his gentle support and love. I miss kissing his little head and snuggling up on the couch so very much. I don't think we will ever get over missing his larger than life personality in our daily lives.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-12-2018, 05:01 PM
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,725 posts, read 59,631,443 times
Reputation: 26833
I think it depends on the pet and the person. I am still grieving my bird who died in February of last year after 30 years. However when our cat dies, I will have a celebration. She has been dead for five years and just forgot to notice it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-12-2018, 08:09 PM
Status: "I'm late because I don't want to be here." (set 5 days ago)
991 posts, read 541,671 times
Reputation: 2035
Awesome book on losing a pet: get this book right away: it's called "Goodbye, Friend" and it helped me soooo much and I have recommended to a lot of people.
After putting down several pets in a row I couldn't get over it but I doubted a book would help.
It is not written like self-help: it is written in a way that helps resolve the grief while you aren't aware. I had huge doubts and felt like a dofuss but it worked!
Get it before you go buy a new pet.
Hope I helped!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-13-2018, 09:18 AM
473 posts, read 176,248 times
Reputation: 1537
With great love comes great loss. Grief is an expression of lost love. There is no real time frame.

I lost my sweet kitty boy, Smokey, last week to kidney failure. We had to put him to sleep because he was in a lot of pain. He was only 10 years old.

I will no longer experience him greeting me at the door, derisive snorts at just the right moment in a conversation, his pony boy style of running through the house, the selfies we regularly sent to my daughter in college, my exercise partner (his loved doing planks, LOL), waking up to him staring at me, guarding my bedroom door, getting ready with me in the morning, and all of the other wonderful personality traits that he graced us with. I miss him terribly. The house has a whole different energy to it since he died.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-13-2018, 03:52 PM
Location: East of the Mississippi and South of Bluegrass
4,112 posts, read 3,394,085 times
Reputation: 8677
"How long is normal to grieve pet?"

It's not a pat answer, you will grieve until you don't.

I have lost several pets (all dogs) over my lifetime and it is not one smooth process. One step forward and two steps back...eventually you accept your loss and move on.

I know that sounds very stupid but as you probably already know, grief is vastly different for everyone. We all have different thresholds for our sorrow.

You know yourself better than we do so you have to decide what it will take for your sorrow to subside.

Maybe it's another pet
Maybe it's an around the world cruise,
Maybe a banana split (I know, now I border on just plain silly)

Think about what would make you feel better and capable of moving past and on from this grief.

Best of luck OP
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-16-2018, 03:57 PM
Location: Maryland
421 posts, read 885,493 times
Reputation: 761
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I'm still devastated at the loss of my Catahoula when he was just 5 years old due to a fast-moving cancer. It's been 6 months, and I feel like I've lost my mojo or something. I'm just kind of not myself.

I've always objected to people saying losing a pet is like losing a child - it's nowhere near the same. We ask things of pets that no loving parent would ask of their child - the comparison just doesn't work as far as I'm concerned. With a dog in particular, it is more akin to an amputation, in my opinion.

There are support groups for people who have lost pets - maybe one of those would be helpful to you.
go to Forums - Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums. You'll find support and understanding.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-21-2018, 01:26 PM
5,738 posts, read 4,583,643 times
Reputation: 4155
Old thread, but just want to post this for those grieving:

First I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. It's very difficult. Our animals are with us more than humans sometimes, and they are with us through all the little things we go through during a normal day. They're just always there. And we associate so many things with them. It's a difficult grief in it's own unique way. You will get nothing but understanding from me and others who have felt this type of loss.

I still keep the memories alive of animals that have passed on many years ago. They are still part of my life, because their memories are still in my heart. There's no "getting over" ANY death. No matter how many times people say that... you do not get over death. Our loved ones (including our animals) are the most important treasures that we have. Just because they are no longer here physically, our love doesn't just go away. It's still there. Some people hide it deep down, but that's not necessary. Bring it forward and wrap that love around you like a cloak. Use it to get through the tough times.

One thing that really helps a lot is writing things down. Write down all of your favorite memories, all of the little things your dogs have done to make you laugh. Their quirks. Just anything you can think of. Also write down how you feel. It's very helpful to go back and read through when you feel sad. Time is the only thing that takes the edge off of the grief. Time and Hope.

That rainbow bridge is real. Love is never in vain.
Whoever created us would NEVER have us love, take that love away and then give us no hope. We hope for things that are yet unseen.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-28-2018, 02:47 PM
588 posts, read 122,340 times
Reputation: 342
Originally Posted by jen5276
When my cat died suddenly last year, I was so devastated beyond belief. I sobbed like i never sobbed before. Even after a few months, I would cry suddenly.

I'm still not over it completely and miss him terribly. I did get another kitty and it has eased the pain and helped me heal.
And thats OK....... Some ppl do not ever recover and its important to be there in thier time of need....

Im sorry for your loss........

No Witchz .. There is no set time in which you can be sad........ I am still sad about my dog who died 20+ years ago....... I miss her very much.............. I really miss my kitty who died 4 yrs ago now

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top