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Old 11-07-2017, 08:30 AM
 
704 posts, read 232,104 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Saying "I'm sorry" does NOT infer that the person saying it is to blame. It simply means "I am in sympathy with you, I'm sorry this happened." It is not stupid. It also does not indicate that they are inept. To interpret it that way would be a really negative take on regular people trying to be kind.

I agree, by the way, that "It was God's will" is an inappropriate thing to say, as none of us really knows God's will.

Perhaps you are thinking of those who say "Let me know if I can help you." That is pretty much meaningless. It would be much more appropriate, if one really wanted to help, to suggest things, such as "I'd like to bring over some dinner tomorrow", or "can I come over and mow your lawn on Saturday?" or "do you need help with grocery shopping? I would be happy to take you or even pick up some items while I'm out." Making a concrete offer of appropriate help is by far the best strategy. Personally, I was not that impressed with those who told me to call if there was anything they could do, and much more impressed with the couple who said (because I moved shortly after my loss) "We would like to come over and help you pack up the garage. When are you going to be ready for that? Here is our number."


Fair enough, spoken another way - Our helplessness for the state of suffering of another, nails the reason for the "Sorry" because a sorry is an expression of an apology - if we didn't cause someone to suffer, why apologize for it - so it has to be the former. Anyway, kind people can be inept - that's neither negative nor positive. However, it's the intention of any meaningless "sorry" however trite, that a grieving person should cherish. Always inappropriate to spew, "It was god's will" for sure.
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Old 11-12-2017, 11:55 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,706,597 times
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Originally Posted by Middletwin View Post
Fair enough, spoken another way - Our helplessness for the state of suffering of another, nails the reason for the "Sorry" because a sorry is an expression of an apology - if we didn't cause someone to suffer, why apologize for it - so it has to be the former. Anyway, kind people can be inept - that's neither negative nor positive. However, it's the intention of any meaningless "sorry" however trite, that a grieving person should cherish. Always inappropriate to spew, "It was god's will" for sure.
Where are you getting that "sorry" is only said if you do something wrong to a person?

It isn't. You say "sorry" when someone is a bad situation. It is saying you have empathy for the person due to their loss, not that you did something wrong.
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