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Old 11-23-2017, 06:52 AM
 
2,953 posts, read 1,394,375 times
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We were just attendents in a wedding where man stated he's never remarry. Wife died 15 years ago when they were in their mid 50's. Right woman came along, they dated for 6 years. She was widowed 2 years and a 'catch'. Same age. He knew, she could and did have other options.

He decided he didn't want to go through life without her as his wife.

We make plans and God laughs.

Sorry to hear about your loss. May you have a nice holidays season.
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:29 AM
 
Location: The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile, AL
1,796 posts, read 1,293,743 times
Reputation: 1398
Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I lost my wife to cancer two years ago today. We knew it was only a matter of time. We got all our ducks in a row and were as prepared as we could have been. Toward the end, she said she had been through enough and she wanted it over. I wanted it over for her sake also. She passed quietly and peacefully in her sleep, with me in bed beside her.

I am doing well both financially and emotionally. I could never do for anyone else, what I gladly did for her. I have decided there will not be another partner in my life as I do not want the responsibility. I do have a "FWB" and she fills that void quite nicely and that is as far as I want to go.

I am not as sad today as I expected to be. As she said to me, you have a life after me and I want you to enjoy it. I think about her. I talk to her via her cat. I dream about her some. I miss her, but life goes on.

I used this Grief and Mourning chat some after her death and it helped me as I hope it helps others.
I am sorry for your loss, and I think it's sweet of you to imagine your wife with your cat. We lose people, but that doesn't mean they are completely gone.
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:38 AM
 
Location: equator
2,628 posts, read 1,119,381 times
Reputation: 6384
I am glad you have found peace, OP. I have not lost a spouse, but did lose a best friend, and am reminded so often by various little things like a word or phrase, an author we both liked, TV shows or actors we both discussed and shared. I am wondering if these reminders are pleasant after a loss, or just add more grief? With a spouse, it seems they would be constant and add to the sense of loss.


You who are bereaved, are really brave---it seems it would be so easy to sink into a depression and hard to get out and about again. I applaud you all for carrying on.
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:17 AM
 
130 posts, read 71,033 times
Reputation: 124
Like Tony Bennett sang," I see your face in every flower,your eyes in the stars above, It's just the thought of you,the very thought of you,my Love."Cherish the memories.Glad you enjoyed the experiences,after all,that's all there is.
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:28 PM
 
Location: No where Nebraska
97 posts, read 108,226 times
Reputation: 309
Just to say, I'm so sorry and wish you many enjoyable memories and enjoy your kitty's and wife's connections. Go forward and live.
Have an wonderful Thanksgiving.
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,257 posts, read 3,173,681 times
Reputation: 4693
Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I lost my wife to cancer two years ago today. We knew it was only a matter of time. We got all our ducks in a row and were as prepared as we could have been. Toward the end, she said she had been through enough and she wanted it over. I wanted it over for her sake also. She passed quietly and peacefully in her sleep, with me in bed beside her.

I am doing well both financially and emotionally. I could never do for anyone else, what I gladly did for her. I have decided there will not be another partner in my life as I do not want the responsibility. I do have a "FWB" and she fills that void quite nicely and that is as far as I want to go.

I am not as sad today as I expected to be. As she said to me, you have a life after me and I want you to enjoy it. I think about her. I talk to her via her cat. I dream about her some. I miss her, but life goes on.

I used this Grief and Mourning chat some after her death and it helped me as I hope it helps others.
.....Hey johngolf::::::::::::::
I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your wife..................I also have been down that road!!!!!
The similarities to my situation are what caught my interest.
It has been 12 .5 yrs since my wife passed to cancer after 14 months of chemo and radiation.
The unisex type remembrance ring I wear on the 'pinky ' finger of my left hand represents 51 yrs of marriage.
I gave it to her on our 51st wedding anniversary while she was receiving her 68th chemo treatment. The prior radiation treatments were not successful either.
As with your wonderful wife, mine told me to continue on with my life doing the things that I enjoy.
My constant companion and "best friend" that i acquired 2 months after my wife passed, is a Brittany bird hunting dog that was 5 months when I got him.....he is now almost 12yrs and an intragual part of my life and has traveled with me in his travel crate, in the back of the SUV over 80,000 miles.
..........As you already know, having a pet (IMHO) is extremely important.
I am approaching my 86th birthday and can tell you this:........The LOSS is with you everyday and never gets any less, however,....on this "Thanksgiving" Day, I give Thanks for the many positive aspects of my life, and I realize how fortunate I have been to have had those 51 years.
CARPE DIEM my friend..........I wish you the best!!!!!!
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Old 11-24-2017, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Maryland
421 posts, read 885,783 times
Reputation: 761
Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I lost my wife to cancer two years ago today. We knew it was only a matter of time. We got all our ducks in a row and were as prepared as we could have been. Toward the end, she said she had been through enough and she wanted it over. I wanted it over for her sake also. She passed quietly and peacefully in her sleep, with me in bed beside her.

I am doing well both financially and emotionally. I could never do for anyone else, what I gladly did for her. I have decided there will not be another partner in my life as I do not want the responsibility. I do have a "FWB" and she fills that void quite nicely and that is as far as I want to go.

I am not as sad today as I expected to be. As she said to me, you have a life after me and I want you to enjoy it. I think about her. I talk to her via her cat. I dream about her some. I miss her, but life goes on.

I used this Grief and Mourning chat some after her death and it helped me as I hope it helps others.
try Forums - Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:45 AM
Status: "Happy Birthday to all October babies." (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Los Angeles
852 posts, read 465,236 times
Reputation: 2083
JohnGolf - so very sorry for your loss. I just cannot imagine losing my spouse. Truth is, I am older then he is by 8 yrs and we have been married for 30 yrs. We grieve for the people we have lost. It's been 20 yrs since I lost both my parents (5 mos apart in death) and I still miss them. My 55 yr old brother who I was close to died in 2014.

The thought of losing my husband is something so difficult after spending all the years with him. He is my best friend. If my husband were to go before me - I know I would never want to be with anyone else. That's just me. He feels the same way. He tells me he would never remarry or get involved with anyone.

It's ok to grieve and mourn for the people we loved. Doesn't matter how long it has been...

You must love to Golf? We are currently watching Arnie & Me. :-)
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:28 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,463 posts, read 18,167,629 times
Reputation: 18833
My condolences to you, John. This January will be 6 years since my hubby passed and I have not even thought of dating another man. Don't need a FWB either. People try to set me up, they don't understand that I am content as I can be, or have made myself be, I had the best, no need for the rest. Hubby told me to find another man but "sorry, honey, I am fine." I have become quite adept at doing things like going out to eat, going to the movies, all by my widdle lonesomes! I was horrified the first couple of years, now I am just so used to it. It's no big deal.

Bless you.
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Old 11-27-2017, 05:03 PM
 
5,713 posts, read 12,830,768 times
Reputation: 9010
My husband passed 5 months ago. Although I get out, I am in no way interested in a relationship, even FWB type. He was an unbelievable man and my best friend. I enjoy the company of other women, going out to dinner with my elderly neighbor, socializing with a group I joined, but have no desire to go out with another man, even for companionship. Even with the passage of time, I never can imagine being with someone else.

I'm assuming you are a younger widower and it is good you can move on.
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