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Old 01-21-2018, 08:31 AM
 
5,537 posts, read 4,378,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme View Post
What's necessary? What isn't?

Is embalming and a "grave liner" absolutely necessary?

Costco sells decent caskets for 1000 bucks and they will deliver next day to any funeral home.


I called a funeral home and they said they would allow the casket delivery so the funeral home cost (service, hurse ride to cemetery, etc) would be about 4500.

So 4500+1000(casket)+1000(plot)= around $6500


$600 dollar fee for digging?

Thanks
Just went to plan mine. For cremation and a small church thing it came to 2997.00
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Old 01-21-2018, 08:32 AM
 
5,537 posts, read 4,378,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
While driving a couple months back going green funerals were radio program topic of the day; favorite blankets all thats needed. Evidently...there are cemetarys willing to do burials on the cheap.
No, I didn't make this up.
Yes, no funeral home necessary in Texas. You can do a home funeral
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Old 01-21-2018, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
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When my mother died she was at a hospital with a school of cremation as part of the campus. They took care of everything and we had her ashes transported to the ancient family plot by a funeral home for a small fee.
Wife of the FIL was lodged in a crypt** and all had been paid for 25 years ago.
You may need a vault per State laws, some States require embalming even for cremation. Laws vary on disposition of cremains. Only uniform rule is, for disposition at sea you must be three miles off shore per EPA.
Burial is a trap; where are we going to put 9 billion bodies??
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Old 01-21-2018, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
3,785 posts, read 8,760,113 times
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I watched a documentary about funeral expenses, burial, cremation, etc. As an aside, don't google this. Trust me on that.

Anyway, I was shocked at the mark up on coffins and all of the various fees associated with burying someone. Were I to be buried, it would be in a simple pine box and no embalming. That alone saves a lot of money. I would be buried at our family church.

After watching that show and the sales techniques that funeral directors use and realizing the mark up, I am strongly leaning towards cremation. I'm not sure what should be done with my ashes, though, especially because now they're jacking up prices for urns. And where would my urn be kept?

Not that this is the same at all, but I had all of my pets cremated and their remains are in a nicely decorated box. I always struggle about where to put the box. And I'm kinda tired of carrying the boxes around. But what would I do with them?

I have family that rotates their mother's urn. It's getting kinda weird. For example, the urn is placed on a fireplace and decorated for Christmas and then they take pictures and....yeah, it's kinda weird.
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Old 01-21-2018, 10:33 AM
 
16,476 posts, read 17,501,756 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
My husband and I paid for a pre-paid cremation with the Neptune Society. When my husband died, we called them, and they took care of the cremation, no additional costs. The memorial service at our church was free. The ladies of the church made the dinner afterward. I did give a donation in gratitude to the church, however.
Thatís what we have. Most burials run about 5k average. They go up from there. I personally want to be cremated and ashes placed in a specific spot.
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Old 01-21-2018, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
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Most places require a grave liner, and embalming is only necessary if you want an open coffin or are going over state lines including flying. Also without embalming you usually have to have burial within 24 to 48 hours of death.

Is the deceased a Veteran? is so and if they had honorable discharge or are the spouse of a Veteran they can be buried in a National Cemetery for free, which included the grave itself, liner, and permanent maintanence . Oh and the headstone or marker, depending on which National Cemetery it is.
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Old 01-21-2018, 12:35 PM
 
11,423 posts, read 19,433,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shades_of_idaho View Post
I worked for the cemetery district here for 11 years and the liners were required. You might call the cemetery yourself and ask. It is not fun to dump a mower or tractor into a grave that suddenly caves in. So sad but it easily happens with out the liner and even with the liners. Both were cemeteries started in the late 1800's and I am not even sure they had liners back then. Why we experienced the cave in's.

When my hubby died he told me no service obit nothing. All I had to do was get him cremated. I honored his wishes. Burials are of course much more expensive. I believe a person can have a direct burial which would be less costly and you can be buried in the same caskets they use for cremation which are felt lined or fabric of some sort and made of thin plywood. There is no shame in using these. I always encouraged them and since most funerals have a casket spray most of the casket could be covered in flowers. You have to ask for them of course because the funeral home makes $$ on caskets. The cremation casket is from 90.00 to 225.00. Since they are insisting on a liner then no need for a fancy casket put your money on a lovely headstone to be on view for eternity.

I also love the idea of a green burial. Hubby insisted on cremation. When it is my time I will have it arranged to have our ashes scattered together. So sorry for your loss.
I had a dear uncle who told me to never walk on graves because of that. He said there was a lot of nonsense about ghosts and bad luck, but the real reason was sometimes the very old ones collapsed.

My mother given a nice service that was the least expensive and it still cost 10k. Too much money. And they wanted to put her in the ground with hand prints on the coffin. I mean, my dad was a woodworker, what would he think? (Yeah, apparently I went a little nuts again and wiped down her coffin before it went into the earth. My dad died in 1981)

I am torn over this. I donít think itís right to spend all sorts of money on this, especially because so many people arenít in the best frame of mind to shop wisely at that point in time, but as the family genealogist, I want those burial markers to connect to.

Iíve spent wonderful times searching for my 3rd great grandfather and finding others who I wasnít looking for. All these things people are doing to save money will be to the detriment of future family historians.
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Old 01-21-2018, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Years ago DH and I joined the Oregon Memorial Society. They enter into contracts for services of all types with mortuaries across the state. We lived in WA for a few years, their society honored our OR membership. My parents also became members and we use their contract mortuary. Excellent experience. The contract mortuaries change from time to time, if a death is anticipated be sure to verify the relationship.

In the west there are Pioneer Cemeteries where early settlers were first interned. The counties have now taken responsibility for managing these cemeteries. The cost of burial represents the cost of providing the service. Contact your county for advance planning.
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Old 01-21-2018, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
I watched a documentary about funeral expenses, burial, cremation, etc. As an aside, don't google this. Trust me on that.

Anyway, I was shocked at the mark up on coffins and all of the various fees associated with burying someone. Were I to be buried, it would be in a simple pine box and no embalming. That alone saves a lot of money. I would be buried at our family church.

After watching that show and the sales techniques that funeral directors use and realizing the mark up, I am strongly leaning towards cremation. I'm not sure what should be done with my ashes, though, especially because now they're jacking up prices for urns. And where would my urn be kept?
(snip).
My husband died suddenly five weeks ago. The funeral director did not pressure me with any type of "high pressure" sales. My husband had told me the type of burial that he wanted and we (my son and I) followed that. We selected one of the very cheapest caskets (or maybe it was the cheapest one) because my husband said that he did not want, or need, a "fancy innerspring mattress and an expensive satin liner" and specifically wanted the plainest wooden casket that did not seal (as my husband believed in "dust to dust".) There was absolutely NO pressure to buy something more expensive. YMMV

When we selected the grave liner (required by the cemetery) the funeral director actually suggested the cheapest cement liner ( specifically, because it did not seal).

Now, I did have to compromise on embalming. Due to a variety of factors we needed to schedule the funeral multiple days after the death, and to have an open casket hubby needed to be embalmed.

I also helped plan both of my parents funerals (at a different funeral home) and there was absolutely no pressure to select expensive caskets or extra "frills". We were shown all price ranges and made our selection in private. YMMV

BTW, my parents and my husband stronglydisagreed with being cremated so that was not considered as an option.

I just wanted to add my two cents.
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Old 01-21-2018, 06:20 PM
 
18,236 posts, read 11,645,412 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme View Post
What's necessary? What isn't?

Is embalming and a "grave liner" absolutely necessary?

Costco sells decent caskets for 1000 bucks and they will deliver next day to any funeral home.


I called a funeral home and they said they would allow the casket delivery so the funeral home cost (service, hurse ride to cemetery, etc) would be about 4500.

So 4500+1000(casket)+1000(plot)= around $6500


$600 dollar fee for digging?

Thanks
Over fifty years ago Jessica Mitford (yes, one of *those* Mitford sisters) wrote "The American Way of Death", exposing some sad truths about the funeral industry in this country. While some laws/reforms were undertaken, things largely have not changed.


At a time when most people are at their most venerable and weakest position mentally you still have plenty of funeral homes that seek to drain every single possible nickel or dime out of the bereaved.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_American_Way_of_Death


Much will depend upon local laws and or cemetery requirements, but yes, on average a grave liner is usually required. As mentioned it helps prevent earth from caving in as it settles and or if coffin/casket deteriorates. This is important not just for the living walking above ground, but now since most burial grounds have gone over to heavy equipment for excavating/filling graves and maintenance you don't want a Caterpillar falling into graves.


The other reason for grave liners is to help contain corpse water should it leak out of casket/coffin.


Fees for digging and or opening graves yes, can be expensive. But then again so is the labor (often union) involved .


Embalming is *not* routinely mandated by any state; though some *may* require under certain situations such as interstate transport. That and the funeral director may as well if there is to be any delay in burial/cremation such as viewing/wake. City of the SIlent - Funeral Consumer Guide


By federal law funeral directors cannot refuse a "third party" casket/container/coffin and must accept what is provided by deceased family/whoever is making the arrangements. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_Rule


Just as an aside there is a difference between a coffin and casket.


A coffin is usually a six sided box with the distinctive shape we've come to associate from vampire and other horror films. That is narrow at head, wider towards middle (where arms are crossed over chest), then tapering down again towards feet.


A casket is normally any four sided container with no provisions/indications to shape of the corpse.






The Ones Who Prepare the Ground for the Last Farewell - The New York Times


City Cemeteries Face Gridlock - The New York Times
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