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Old 02-03-2018, 05:51 PM
Location: East Coast
23 posts, read 8,126 times
Reputation: 84


Really missed hearing my crazy Mums voice today! Its my first birthday with out her. I was expecting the heartache during the holidays but I was shocked by the overwhelming grief I felt today, we never made a crazy big deal about birthdays. However, it was totally devastating not getting my morning phone call and her telling me to stop on over to get my card and a kiss.

It will be a year for her next month too, so I don't know if that is compounding everything or its just another wave sadness. Anyone else find their own birthday unbearable after the loss of a parent?
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Old 02-03-2018, 09:50 PM
3,962 posts, read 5,248,587 times
Reputation: 4549
Everyone has different times that are most difficult. Sorry about your mom. I hope you were able to enjoy your birthday anyway. She was there with you, I'm sure.
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Old 02-03-2018, 09:57 PM
1,365 posts, read 421,108 times
Reputation: 2686
Bye-ah --- I know it is a little bit late in the day, but I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. It is hard, indeed. It is coming up on two years for me, losing my mom. I miss her so much. Mainly, when I think of a ??? I want to ask. She was the last one in her family left, too.
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Old 02-03-2018, 11:30 PM
588 posts, read 121,986 times
Reputation: 342
Happy birthday..... I am so sorry for your loss
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Old 02-03-2018, 11:37 PM
Location: colorado springs, CO
3,996 posts, read 1,776,085 times
Reputation: 13784
I just had my first birthday without my mom in November.

She passed away in March. Last year in my birthday card she wrote “You are my Hero ...” and I still have that card. She wrote that in reference to my daily adventures of caregiving for my now 14 year old son, who is my youngest & also profoundly Autistic.

I assure you that I am far from being a Hero but it seems like my mom was the only one who really understood what it is I gave up to do this & how hard it can be to wake up to these challenges every, every, every day.

As my son struggles with puberty & has developed the strength of 10 grown men; she is my motivation to see this through. She loved this kid so much & I just want to one day live up to her words.

Happy belated birthday & know that you are not alone in going through this.
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Old 02-04-2018, 11:47 AM
588 posts, read 121,986 times
Reputation: 342
Im sorry coschristi

Your moms spirit is most likely still there
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Old 02-04-2018, 03:06 PM
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
17,387 posts, read 3,537,755 times
Reputation: 22597
It's normal to miss a parent after death, some days worse than others...

Happy Birthday though...
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Old 02-04-2018, 03:23 PM
4,837 posts, read 2,145,909 times
Reputation: 12307
It's that grief validation hitting upon the heart. So dearly sorry you are enduring it...yet the key for you was to recognize it...and accept that this loss is not without it's gifts. She gave you life,it's profound to miss such and at the same time love them without them physically being around.
From all of us who crossed this path....we wish you many comforting memories to ease this burden.
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Old 02-04-2018, 07:08 PM
Status: "be kind." (set 23 days ago)
2,677 posts, read 3,881,352 times
Reputation: 6221
I miss my mom everyday. Wishing you a belated Happy Birthday and a sending you a big virtual hug!
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Old 02-04-2018, 07:33 PM
594 posts, read 1,104,513 times
Reputation: 1027
I lost both of my parents many years ago and used to torture myself with counting the years since they departed with each event that passed (the first birthday since, the first thanksgiving since) etc.

I saw the passage of time taking me further and further away from them, making me more sad with each passing year.

I finally realized, I will never be further away from them than the day they passed. If anything, I am getting closer to them, as I am getting closer each day to my own passing.

This worked for me and brought me peace.

I hope it brings you peace as well.
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