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Old 02-11-2018, 06:15 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
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I was under the impression that a body that is not cremated is embalmed, regardless of whether there is an open casket viewing, but I’m no expert.
My own feeling is that I’d rather remember the deceased the way they looked when they were alive. I’ve seen some very good looking corpses, and some really awful ones, so who wants to take a chance that their loved one will look awful?
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Old 02-11-2018, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I was under the impression that a body that is not cremated is embalmed, regardless of whether there is an open casket viewing, but Iím no expert.
My own feeling is that Iíd rather remember the deceased the way they looked when they were alive. Iíve seen some very good looking corpses, and some really awful ones, so who wants to take a chance that their loved one will look awful?
My husband was laid out for all to see--his choice--six days after he died. There's absolutely no way that would have happened without embalming. It was the hot season.
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Old 02-12-2018, 03:09 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I was under the impression that a body that is not cremated is embalmed, regardless of whether there is an open casket viewing, but Iím no expert.
My own feeling is that Iíd rather remember the deceased the way they looked when they were alive. Iíve seen some very good looking corpses, and some really awful ones, so who wants to take a chance that their loved one will look awful?
No, that is generally not the case.
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Old 02-12-2018, 05:50 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harry chickpea View Post
No, that is generally not the case.
Seriously? A body can lie around for a week or so?
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
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Cold room. Freezer. Short period between death and burial. Consider a coroner determining cause of death. Decay processes can be slowed, and in the case of cryogenics even stopped, without resorting to embalming.
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
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Just talking about open vs closed....

I regret opening the casket to say goodbye to my Grandmother.

It’s a personal decision and some do need that closure but I’m still haunted by it, 3 years later, and probably always will be. It didn’t really look like her.

I feel lucky, though, for not losing a grandparent until I was 30. I’m 36 now and still have one left; she’s 94.
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Old 02-12-2018, 11:25 PM
ERH
 
Location: Cary, NC
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My parents pre-arranged their funerals and opted not to pay for the $2,500 (each) embalming fees. Mom died a couple of years ago in the afternoon at home. My dad kissed her goodbye before they loaded her in the van, but he'd expected to see her again at the funeral home the next day. The funeral director advised him not to view her body, due to the lack of embalming. I think Dad was pretty dismayed at not being able to see her one last time.

I'm opting for cremation, so no icky embalming for this ole gal, and no open casket. Gawkers need not show up.
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:21 AM
 
Location: northern New England
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My Sister in law always says, "People don't come in and look at me while I am asleep, why should they look at me while I am dead?"

My husband didn't go to the viewing for my dad, he stayed out on the porch and talked to people. He said he wanted to remember my dad the way he was the last time we visited, alive and smiling and sitting in his favorite chair.

I agree that embalming is not something I would want done to myself or a loved one. When my husband died, he wanted to be cremated. His kids flew in, a little late to see him alive, but we did get to see him at the funeral home, in a private room without a casket. Just so they could say good bye.
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Old 02-17-2018, 10:51 AM
 
Location: SWFL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme View Post
The process of embalming seems kind of "barbaric". I'm thinking when the time comes we will have a closed casket for mom. Cheaper too.


What say you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I was under the impression that a body that is not cremated is embalmed, regardless of whether there is an open casket viewing, but Iím no expert.
My own feeling is that Iíd rather remember the deceased the way they looked when they were alive. Iíve seen some very good looking corpses, and some really awful ones, so who wants to take a chance that their loved one will look awful?
As Harry said, embalming might not be REQUIRED in your state. It is just another way for funeral companies, yes, companies, to drain more money out of the living.

I had neither my mother or father embalmed. Mom looked terrible to me. I never once saw her with a hint of makeup on during her life and there she was with makeup on in the casket. Didn't even look like her to me. Dad looked fine. My husband was not embalmed either but he had to "be on ice" for 7 months while the pos VA Director down in Barnstable, Mass. screwed around about my husband's service records. P_R_I_C_K. Then he was cremated. I declined all invitations from the funeral owner to come visit my poor hubby while he was in "holding mode". I could not hurt myself anymore than I already was.

Embalming is not a requirement in Massachusetts.
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Old 02-17-2018, 05:02 PM
Status: "I cannot wait for the heat to break..." (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,368 posts, read 25,488,669 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme View Post
The process of embalming seems kind of "barbaric". I'm thinking when the time comes we will have a closed casket for mom. Cheaper too.


What say you?
What does your mother want? Personally, I don't want to be embalmed. I'm not squeamish about it but I find it unnecessary. If you want to be laid out and/or have a viewing the body can be kept cold until the time needed or on ice.

I have also seen some really bad makeup jobs at funerals and would opt for a closed casket if I was going that route.

I just finished reading an interesting book that tells of 9 different burials, Grave Matters. and might be helpful to you.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/....Grave_Matters


There are many different options out there you just have to research it and be ok with it.


State requirements:
http://www.alsirat.com/silence/consumers/embalming.html

http://www.funeralinformationsociety...by%20State.pdf


Embalming process:
http://listverse.com/2007/11/08/the-...-of-embalming/

Last edited by ylisa7; 02-17-2018 at 05:16 PM..
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