Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm still devastated at the loss of my Catahoula when he was just 5 years old due to a fast-moving cancer. It's been 6 months, and I feel like I've lost my mojo or something. I'm just kind of not myself.
I've always objected to people saying losing a pet is like losing a child - it's nowhere near the same. We ask things of pets that no loving parent would ask of their child - the comparison just doesn't work as far as I'm concerned. With a dog in particular, it is more akin to an amputation, in my opinion.
There are support groups for people who have lost pets - maybe one of those would be helpful to you.
Yes, your fiance should be able to handle this. I would be careful with your son, however. I suppose it depends on the age, but children often feel responsible for taking care of their parents, and if you are really in a bad way about this, it could be quite a burden for a child. In addition, if your son is also grieving these pets, he has his own grief to deal with. It is a parents' responsibility to help a child with that and not to weight him down too much with your own grief. Yes, they should know that you are sad about the loss, but a child needs to know that his parent is still capable and not crippled by grief.
Would a new pet be a way to turn the loss into something good?
I know ppl should not get a new pet immediately after such a loss, but maybe enough time has passed? (especially considering your son, if he is young and missing a pet also)
In my experience, when our pets have died or needed to be euthanized bc of illness, we have grieved for about 1-2 months, then our "pet lonely-ness would motivate us to call the town dog warden and ask her to keep an eye out for a new suitable dog or puppy for us. Shortly thereafter, we'd hear back from her and then we'd be spreading the love again.
Sorry for your loss and hope this helps at least a bit.
When my cat died suddenly last year, I was so devastated beyond belief. I sobbed like i never sobbed before. Even after a few months, I would cry suddenly.
I'm still not over it completely and miss him terribly. I did get another kitty and it has eased the pain and helped me heal.
There is no "normal." Besides having to put Donnie in a carrier, drive us to the vet, walk up the stairs then take him into a small room and watch the vet stick the needle into his precious little paw and watch his head fall over = I'll never get over it completely. In fact , I was shocked at just how much water could continue to come from my eyes from that time to the time I left the clinic with my husband on the phone crying along with me. I absolutely soaked two tissues. I will never do that again. I'll take care of Amy some other way.
I think about Donnie every couple of days and it has been six months. I have to , I must believe in Heaven and that I'll see him again. My heart won't allow me to believe otherwise. And a "replacement" doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned.
As for getting another - we have kicked the idea around. I do think that Mollys arrival helped with the loss of Zeek but am just so afraid of the thought of having to go through another loss - I just don't know.
And a "replacement" doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned.
No, you can't replace a pet any more than you can replace a person who dies. When you get a new pet, it will be in ADDITION to your heart and to your life, not a replacement. Our hearts do have the ability to expand and bring in more love. But we need to grieve what we have lost first.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.