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Old 05-08-2018, 01:11 PM
2,301 posts, read 1,118,740 times
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Yes. I friend from high school. I looked him up a few years ago. He died before he was even 20. He had cancer. I still think of him. He was such a nice kid. RIP Erik.
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Old 05-10-2018, 11:29 AM
Location: PNW
2,215 posts, read 739,331 times
Reputation: 7263
Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
Since I haven't spoken to the guy since the trip, I am not upset, but I was quite shocked to see this. Just curious, from personal experience, has anyone ever randomly looked up someone on Facebook, Google, etc, and found out that they were deceased? If so, what was your reaction?
Yes, and it happened less than 2 years ago.

Decades ago I had a good friend who was quite immature in some ways but he had some things on the ball, and he was one of my best influences in my younger life. We lost touch when we both left our employer and went our separate ways but I never forgot him. Curiosity got the best of me in recent years and I tried like Hell to find him through the internet, and eventually I became convinced that he passed away some time ago. A few endeavors led to his passing, plus he's buried where he grew up. He would have been only in his 40's when he died.

I was both shocked and crushed because I really wanted to re-connect with him. I am 99.9% certain that he is gone.
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Old 05-16-2018, 12:20 AM
5,531 posts, read 8,790,479 times
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I had an e-mail pal whom I'd actually never met in real life, but we were close friends even so. We met online and started doing research together about a true crime story, and we found that we were really good research partners. That partnership grew into a friendship, and for a period of about 10 years we would e-mail each other at least once a week, being each other's support during happy as well as hard times. We planned on getting together, but we lived 2000 miles apart, so it wasn't really convenient--and we thought we had lots of time. But then her older sister developed Alzheimer's, and her e-mails became less frequent, because she had become her sister's caregiver. At one point I hadn't heard from her in 4 months, and I thought I was just giving her her "space." But some weird instinct compelled me to google her, and there it was: her obituary. She had died the previous week, of cancer, and her funeral had been the day before I googled her. She had never told me she was ill, but apparently she went downhill very fast. I had a shock, and now I regret not visiting her while there was time. If I had known she was dying, I would probably have gone to see her immediately.

So I learned a lesson: Never assume your close friends are okay if you don't hear from them for a while. If they don't respond to your e-mails or texts, call them! If they don't pick up the phone, call their relatives! They may think you're being a busybody or a worrywart, but that's better than being complacent or oblivious.
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Old 05-21-2018, 08:42 PM
632 posts, read 112,847 times
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Unfortunately, yes. I went to high school with Mike and then many years later, worked alongside him in a low-paying job as I tried to transition to a teaching career. I always fancied myself a witty guy who could come up with material on the fly. I'd forgotten how funny Mike was and I simply couldn't keep up with him. I told him a couple times that by all rights he should be writing comedy in Hollywood and those no-talent bums should be doing what he's doing for a living. And I meant it. He'd help anyone out who needed help. I don't think a single person ever disliked Mike. I don't think I never knew anyone else about whom that could be said.

Anyways, I did find a teaching job out of state. Even though I was out of state, I'd always check the online version of my hometown newspaper and then one day, while I was eating breakfast, there it was on the side of the screen, under "Obituaries," his name. My heart sank and I shouted out "Oh my God!" I called the place where we'd worked over the noon hour and was informed that Mike had committed suicide. He'd stopped showing up to work awhile back and that was about it. I was bewildered. I thought back, searching for a reason. I thought of a week a couple years before where Mike was behaving unusually, not talking, which was so unlike him. I just gave him his space. I wondered if that was the difference? What if I had pursued it? Would he still be alive? I sent a letter to his folks talking about all of Mike's virtues and how he gave to other people without expecting anything back and my wondering if he had been a better friend to me than I to him.

Mike was just one of those bright, talented people who, for whatever reason, never quite found his niche or way in this world. Unfortunately, many of those types of people seem to end their lives. I've lost my grandparents to cancer and Alzheimer's and a former student to murder, but I don't think anything feels quite like losing someone to suicide. The next time I was back in my hometown, I took a chance on Mike being buried in the cemetery of the Catholic church his parents attend. It's not a massive cemetery, but it's fairly large. I found his grave within a couple minutes of entering the cemetery. I don't believe that was blind luck or coincidence. His parents, who are still alive, have their names on the stone on either side of him, ready to be imprinted once they pass.
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Old 05-25-2018, 09:57 AM
4,752 posts, read 2,184,640 times
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Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
was on a trip to Italy about 11 years ago and met another American tourist there. We were both there for a week and we hung out, going out for pizza, playing ball, stuff like that. We weren't best friends, but we hung out pretty much every day we were there. We kept in touch for a little while after we got back, but naturally lost touch due to the fact that he lived in Alaska. Yesterday I was bored and people searching and I went to look up his name on the Internet, and an obituary popped up. He hung himself 5 years ago. Since I haven't spoken to the guy since the trip, I am not upset, but I was quite shocked to see this. Just curious, from personal experience, has anyone ever randomly looked up someone on Facebook, Google, etc, and found out that they were deceased? If so, what was your reaction?
I have, and it results in disbelief, and repeated searches to try to verify that the death is indeed the same person. I knew a pilot when he was just completing his training. We remained close friends for a number of years and then lost touch. When I looked him up years later I saw his name attached to a plane crash, pilot error, and just could not believe it - kept thinking it was another pilot with the same name. I had the same experience with a friend from school - learned that she was living in some dusty down and choked to death. That was also shocking because she didn't seem like the "dusty" town kind of person. I wondered how she ended up there, and whether she had a medical condition that caused such an odd death.
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Old 06-17-2018, 10:43 PM
Location: State of Denial
1,667 posts, read 773,796 times
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Last week I had an urge to look up a former boss of mine who I had been out of touch with for many years. I don't know why she came to mind, but I did a search and found out that she had died a couple of months ago.

It made me sad because I was doing that with the intention to give her a call and meet for coffee to catch up. It has given me impetus to track down some old friends and talk to them before it's too late.
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:33 AM
289 posts, read 39,461 times
Reputation: 396
My high school boyfriend, together all through high school, broke up just before my graduation.

We always stayed in touch through mutual friends from our small town. He called me up when I came back for my 20th reunion, we talked often on the phone, life happened, we lost direct contact, but through our friends, we always knew what was happening in each other’s lives.

Seven years ago, I moved far away and permanently from my home state. I learned that 2 months after my move, he had a debilitating stroke, after reuniting with his 2nd ex-wife, to help with their teenaged daughter. But, they were together and were planning to remarry. Time passed. In early 2017, I had a strange feeling that something was amiss. I had not heard anything for awhile, only that he was not recovering well. A friend reached me and told me that he had died in early January, 2017. I still can’t believe that he is gone forever.
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Old 07-10-2018, 11:08 AM
Location: Somewhere gray and damp, close to the West Coast
11,700 posts, read 2,094,327 times
Reputation: 4976
My husband has several online and real life relationships with the kids he taught in sixth grade, back in the 70's. I tried looking up my sixth grade teacher, wanting to thank him for all the encouragement and good life lessons he had given me, only to find him deceased. Sad day.
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Old 07-11-2018, 11:57 AM
53 posts, read 36,295 times
Reputation: 166

In '97 I started selling cars. In '02 I moved from my original dealership to the local Nissan / Acura store. I was on the Nissan side and a dude I already knew was on the Acura side. He was a long time acquiantance and friend but we never hung out, or really kept in touch, outside of work. I ended up leaving the car business in '04.

Years go by and my daily commute brings me past the Acura store. So one day in 2010 I decided to stop in to see if any of the guys were still working there. I walked into the store and, amazingly enough, all the same salesman were there. They came over and we were saying hello and I looked around and asked "Hey where's Mike?".

Every face instantly dropped. One of the guys stepped up and said "You didn't hear?"

"No I didn't"

Turns out he had killed himself about a year prior. Now it was my turn to be in shock. I asked what happened and they recounted the sad story.
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Old 07-13-2018, 11:27 PM
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,749 posts, read 21,804,424 times
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Several of them, maybe. One was a drug overdose, one was a suicide, and I have no idea what happened to the other person. He doesn't answer the phone, email, paper mail. Nothing.
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