U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-26-2018, 09:16 PM
 
350 posts, read 310,598 times
Reputation: 227

Advertisements

was on a trip to Italy about 11 years ago and met another American tourist there. We were both there for a week and we hung out, going out for pizza, playing ball, stuff like that. We weren't best friends, but we hung out pretty much every day we were there. We kept in touch for a little while after we got back, but naturally lost touch due to the fact that he lived in Alaska. Yesterday I was bored and people searching and I went to look up his name on the Internet, and an obituary popped up. He hung himself 5 years ago. Since I haven't spoken to the guy since the trip, I am not upset, but I was quite shocked to see this. Just curious, from personal experience, has anyone ever randomly looked up someone on Facebook, Google, etc, and found out that they were deceased? If so, what was your reaction?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-26-2018, 09:30 PM
 
1,138 posts, read 1,114,028 times
Reputation: 3874
Hi xxblue100, Yes, I have looked up people and discovered they have died. How I felt depended upon my past relationship with them.

One of my boyfriends who I loved very much passed away in 2007. I discovered this several years after his death and a shadow of sadness passed over me.

One of my boyfriends who was abusive, and terrified me, passed away in 2010. I discovered this also several years after his death. I felt relief.

One of my high school classmates was murdered by her grandson. Since I had no contact with her for these many decades, I felt nothing but shock at her manner of death.

I am so very sorry that your travel acquaintance has passed away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2018, 09:37 PM
 
350 posts, read 310,598 times
Reputation: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingatFL View Post
Hi xxblue100, Yes, I have looked up people and discovered they have died. How I felt depended upon my past relationship with them.

One of my boyfriends who I loved very much passed away in 2007. I discovered this several years after his death and a shadow of sadness passed over me.

One of my boyfriends who was abusive, and terrified me, passed away in 2010. I discovered this also several years after his death. I felt relief.

One of my high school classmates was murdered by her grandson. Since I had no contact with her for these many decades, I felt nothing but shock at her manner of death.

I am so very sorry that your travel acquaintance has passed away.
He was a good guy despite how short of a time I knew him, but he came from a family with many estranged and step relatives and teenage pregnancies, etc, so as surprised as I was to see that he did this, it doesn’t totally not make sense. He was 23, so he was 12 when we hung out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2018, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,702 posts, read 50,742,266 times
Reputation: 27127
"Just curious, from personal experience, has anyone ever randomly looked up someone on Facebook, Google, etc, and found out that they were deceased? If so, what was your reaction?"

Your age is showing.

When you start thinking it is a 50/50 chance that the person you are searching for is dead, your reaction tends to be muted.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2018, 01:15 PM
 
350 posts, read 310,598 times
Reputation: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by harry chickpea View Post
"Just curious, from personal experience, has anyone ever randomly looked up someone on Facebook, Google, etc, and found out that they were deceased? If so, what was your reaction?"

Your age is showing.

When you start thinking it is a 50/50 chance that the person you are searching for is dead, your reaction tends to be muted.
Yup, I am young. And usually at your age people die naturally, not by suicide like the guy I knew.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2018, 01:42 PM
 
3,870 posts, read 1,313,521 times
Reputation: 9036
Years and years ago, when I was a lot younger...in my 20's, I used to work with this girl who was about my age. I was actually, kind of afraid of her. LOL She seemed tough and mean, so I'd avoid her.


So, one day, she stepped on my heel, and at the time, I thought she did it on purpose, and I almost slapped her. Well, from that, we became really good friends. LOL We'd hang out sometimes after work, do stuff on the weekends together, etc. She even set me up with her cousin, and we dated a couple of times.


Eventually, we drifted apart. Not for any particular reason. Probably because we went off to work at different places. I don't really remember.


So, one evening she calls, and she tells me that she had recently spent some time in a mental hospital, but she ended up walking out, and she was staying with a friend, and her family didn't know where she was. I asked her why, and what happened, etc. She told me that she had something to tell me, and that she hoped I wouldn't judge her harshly for it, but she was gay, and she was depressed, and her family had put her in the hospital. We talked for probably an hour, and then she said she had to go, and she hung up.


A couple years after that, I saw a lady in the grocery store, who used to be the supervisor for our dept., and she told me that my friend had killed herself. I asked her when, and it turned out it was a couple of months after I'd talked to her.


It made me pretty sad then, makes me sad now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2018, 07:29 PM
 
350 posts, read 310,598 times
Reputation: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Years and years ago, when I was a lot younger...in my 20's, I used to work with this girl who was about my age. I was actually, kind of afraid of her. LOL She seemed tough and mean, so I'd avoid her.


So, one day, she stepped on my heel, and at the time, I thought she did it on purpose, and I almost slapped her. Well, from that, we became really good friends. LOL We'd hang out sometimes after work, do stuff on the weekends together, etc. She even set me up with her cousin, and we dated a couple of times.


Eventually, we drifted apart. Not for any particular reason. Probably because we went off to work at different places. I don't really remember.


So, one evening she calls, and she tells me that she had recently spent some time in a mental hospital, but she ended up walking out, and she was staying with a friend, and her family didn't know where she was. I asked her why, and what happened, etc. She told me that she had something to tell me, and that she hoped I wouldn't judge her harshly for it, but she was gay, and she was depressed, and her family had put her in the hospital. We talked for probably an hour, and then she said she had to go, and she hung up.


A couple years after that, I saw a lady in the grocery store, who used to be the supervisor for our dept., and she told me that my friend had killed herself. I asked her when, and it turned out it was a couple of months after I'd talked to her.


It made me pretty sad then, makes me sad now.
I wish I wouldn’t have done more research, but the guy I knew made an Instagram account with a few photos in his last week of life, and he posted a serious selfie on the day of his suicide with no caption whatsoever. Just the picture with his bedroom in the background. Horribly creepy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2018, 09:14 AM
 
572 posts, read 430,476 times
Reputation: 768
Back in my 20's I had some friends that worked at a small recreational facility, about 8-10 of them. I knew some better than others.
Still good friends with 3 of them. They had a kind of work reunion (40 years) a few weeks ago. After I asked my one friend how it went and about this/that person etc. When I got to one guy he said that someone said he had commented suicide years ago. This guy was kind of a odd ball, strange social outcast type of person back in the day. Unfortunately I wasn't surprised at all. RIP, sorry it ended that way for him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2018, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,539 posts, read 4,689,534 times
Reputation: 16248
I did a search on Ancestry for people born in my county the same year as me. Then I clicked death records. I was surprised how many I knew.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2018, 02:03 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
33,933 posts, read 42,118,581 times
Reputation: 56031
Yes. Two of my best girlfriends from high school are dead, and so is the boy next door that I was good friends with.
It was very sobering to hear this, since they were all my age. I was able to reconnect with the boy before he died, but not the girls. I was sad because I would have liked to reconnect with them.
Another best girlfriend of mine was widowed at 39, which saddened me too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top