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Old 03-13-2018, 10:25 PM
Location: Wisconsin
16,529 posts, read 16,041,860 times
Reputation: 39014


While everyone grieves along a different timetable this does seem like she is rushing to find a replacement for her fiancé. IMHO, a couple of months is very short to get over the loss of a spouse or fiancé. I would discuss this with her and try to slow things down.
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Old 03-14-2018, 03:28 PM
Location: Boonies of N. Alabama
2,351 posts, read 2,116,969 times
Reputation: 3826
Just take your time and have open discussions. My husband and myself were both on the rebound when we met. His wife had walked out 5 months earlier and my husband of 20 yrs walked out on me and the kids about 3 months prior. Took me almost 2 yrs to get divorced because of backed up court systems. Sparks flew when we met but we just took it slow and had frank discussions along the way. We married 1 month after my divorce was final and we stayed married for 20 yrs until he recently passed unexpectedly. EVERYONE said it was too soon and would never work. It did.
So.. ya never know.
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Old 03-14-2018, 04:28 PM
15,208 posts, read 16,111,854 times
Reputation: 25170
Originally Posted by buckdover72 View Post
Oh I am not moving in with her..... not even in my head, I basically wanted to say the truth and hear peoples opinions on it. I feel the same way to be honest with you all... But I have fun with her and we have a lot of up coming plans, so I am trying to casual things up with out her noticing and let the cards fall where they may...
Thank you all
I don't blame you for wanting to "casual things up" with her, but I don't think you're going to do it without her noticing. And I don't think you should try to do that.

Level with her and tell her that you like her and like the time you're spending together, but want to keep it casual for now. She's been through a lot you think it's too soon for you two to enter into a serious, committed relationship.

Have that talk and then let the cards fall where they may. Just drifting away isn't very nice.
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Old 03-15-2018, 03:44 PM
Location: Columbia SC
8,014 posts, read 6,786,512 times
Reputation: 10759

If you wanting a one on one, exclusive relationship but not together all the time, explain that to her. Be candid and upfront. I also believe it is bit of a rebound relationship and that is fine but it needs time, like years, to mature to where it is not just a rebound. Do not let her rush you and if she is, consider ending it.
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Old 03-19-2018, 06:15 AM
5 posts, read 2,528 times
Reputation: 15
Well I had the talk with her and we decided to end the relationship. I am actually relieved it went the way it did. She accused me of being insecure, although it was more of uncertainty of a future with her.
Thank you all for chiming in to help me sort my brain out... I know this is the right path to take
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