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Old 03-17-2018, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Kansas City
667 posts, read 879,569 times
Reputation: 523

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My sisters husband kept her illness hidden from the rest of us sisters. Why, we don't know.
We heard she died and am trying to find anything about her. It's like she doesn't exist. No obituary. Nothing saying she passed on.
Is any of this in public records? We'd just like to keep a little something about her.
Thanks for any help.
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Old 03-17-2018, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,841 posts, read 51,286,023 times
Reputation: 27653
This should get you started if it is Kansas:

Kansas Department of Health and Environment: Ordering Death Certificates

Otherwise, look up the state and "death certificate."
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Old 03-18-2018, 08:07 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18811
As far as I know, at least in Massachusetts, there will only be an obituary published in a newspaper if the family requests it. One obit free, multiple papers, you have to pay for. I did not have anything published per my husband's wishes.
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Old 03-18-2018, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,905,878 times
Reputation: 38735
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
As far as I know, at least in Massachusetts, there will only be an obituary published in a newspaper if the family requests it. One obit free, multiple papers, you have to pay for. I did not have anything published per my husband's wishes.
I am sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure that any newspapers offer free obituaries any more. Even a short obituary in my local newspaper costs $500. A several paragraph obituary, with a photograph, costs over $1,000. I can see why many people do not post obituaries.

Perhaps, when your BIL's grief is lessened he will be willing to talk to you. It is possible that it was your sister's wishes that he not contact your family, and he abided with her wishes.

Are there others that you know who knew your sister? Her best friend? Her co-workers? A neighbor?

Last edited by germaine2626; 03-18-2018 at 08:47 AM..
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Old 03-18-2018, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Kansas City
667 posts, read 879,569 times
Reputation: 523
Thank you all for your kind replies. I'll check out the death certificates.
Yes, the whole church new of her illness. After her death the pastor didn't say a word about her departing. Most unusual!
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Old 03-19-2018, 01:17 AM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,010,253 times
Reputation: 15406
If you can obtain her death certificate, it usually has cause of death. Also, the place of death is usually indicated. If a hospital or medical facility, you might be able to obtain medical records. There would be a privacy/HIPPA issue, but its worth a try. You deserve closure such knowledge would bring. Take care!
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Old 03-19-2018, 06:00 PM
 
683 posts, read 156,378 times
Reputation: 511
Without the sister's Social Security number, I don't think they will be able to obtain a death certificate. However, you CAN talk to the funeral parlor (no matter what, a funeral parlor must be involved in even transporting a body from the hospital to the crematory). They might be able to give you some information.
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Old 04-03-2018, 11:02 PM
 
194 posts, read 96,483 times
Reputation: 431
My father died in 2015, his wife hid him from my brother and I. I did find him in a care home and I checked up on him through phone call but did not tell them who I was because if his wife found out, she would move him. The last time I phoned I was told he died the month before but I did not have a actual date. 2 1/2 years later I wanted to know the exact date of death. I ended going through vital check. I did not have to prove that I was his daughter. When I received the death certificate, 3/4 of it was filled out wrong. I ended up making an amendment and that cost $100. I now know what the cause of death was and the exact day of death and I set the record straight.
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Old 04-06-2018, 05:11 AM
 
30,316 posts, read 31,181,855 times
Reputation: 13995
I know that in NY one doesn't have to publish an obituary when someone dies. An elderly friend of mine (an elderly colleague whom I had kept in touch with) died suddenly a few weeks ago but disappeared from view a few weeks prior to that (meaning a few weeks prior to her death she stopped responding to email and the voicemail/answering machine on her phone disappeared). Since she had no immediate family (single/never married and no siblings & therefore no nieces/nephews), I had to investigate via a mutual former colleague (who also had to investigate to give me a reply!) to find out what happened to her.
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