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Old 08-12-2018, 02:10 PM
 
Location: El paso,tx
1,577 posts, read 621,862 times
Reputation: 2505

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Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Spottednikes, I am sorry for the loss of your mom. Despite all the trauma, it sounds as though you handled everything well, and that your mom's death came without pain and suffering. Thank you for sharing your story and your experience. Whenever we talk about these things, there is potential that someone else can be helped as they walk their own path.
Thank you.
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Old 08-12-2018, 03:06 PM
 
1,481 posts, read 592,362 times
Reputation: 2528
Quote:
Originally Posted by seethelight View Post
hospice does not hasten death !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a really bizarre statement. My wife is a hospice nurse and I hear story after story how the "loved:" ones of the patient prohibit morphine when the hospice DR. orders it to ease pain and suffering of the patient, when the patient has less than a month to live because they don't want to have their dying relation addicted. So their "loved" one can be more lucid while suffering. Do you know the average stay in hospice is only three days. People are dying and everyone except the hospice RNs are freaking out, so be grateful there is hospice and don't knock a noble profession based on your biased opinion.
Thank your wife for me. I think people are not quite up to what Hospice does. They take patients who are dying. There job is to make the patient comfortable and allow them to die with dignity. They allow family there all hours of the day and night to be with the patient. My mom was in a wonderful place before she passed away but you can also have hospice in your own home. They are not there to give extraordinary measures to keep you alive and that includes restricting food and fluids if that is called for. They take patients who have 6 months or less to live but most are actively dying and will do so within a week. With hospice they hopefully do so peacefully.
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Old 08-12-2018, 04:32 PM
 
5,142 posts, read 2,321,799 times
Reputation: 13118
Quote:
Originally Posted by seethelight View Post
When a hospice patient is in the final stages of dying their organs are shutting down and the body has no need for food. My dad, who died in hospice, didn't eat for 8 days. He was unconscious 22 hours a day. When he was conscious he didn't ask for food.

People should become more informed about hospice rather than making claims that hospice wanted her unconscious. People that work in hospice are real saints, and people go into that profession to help people rather than what you are accusing them of doing.
Kindly stated minus the saint part. Most do have the gift of compassion.
But when they are there for ten minutes every other day..I'm sure that ten minutes is easy to apply.

I've sat in grief counseling groups and most who followed the hospice route were grateful. Maybe when you are in those final days you tend to take any scrap of kindness and amplify it. Because somehow the rest of the world goes on while yours is going 110mph into a steel wall and you can't stop it or prepare for the finAL moment.
Yes I support the hospice goals ...comfort and medical provisions .
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Old 08-13-2018, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Maryland
427 posts, read 896,438 times
Reputation: 781
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Kindly stated minus the saint part. Most do have the gift of compassion.
But when they are there for ten minutes every other day..I'm sure that ten minutes is easy to apply.

I've sat in grief counseling groups and most who followed the hospice route were grateful. Maybe when you are in those final days you tend to take any scrap of kindness and amplify it. Because somehow the rest of the world goes on while yours is going 110mph into a steel wall and you can't stop it or prepare for the finAL moment.
Yes I support the hospice goals ...comfort and medical provisions .
Don't know where you got that 10 minutes every day misinformation. Last night my wife got home very late after spending four hours with one patient. There are no time quotas for visits, and I am personally frustrated with people commenting about hospice with no actual experience with hospice. Unfortunately.
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Old 08-13-2018, 05:15 PM
 
5,142 posts, read 2,321,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seethelight View Post
Don't know where you got that 10 minutes every day misinformation. Last night my wife got home very late after spending four hours with one patient. There are no time quotas for visits, and I am personally frustrated with people commenting about hospice with no actual experience with hospice. Unfortunately.
Pardon as I should have clarified. During my mother's last days ...hospice was there. For ten minutes every other day. There does that qualify ? Of course not in your eyes. But so be it. That was the reality of time given by hospice care in my situation . The nurse herself was on call but what good does yakking on the phone do when the patient is aspirating. Yes your wife is a rare gem and I respect her dedication . But unlike your wife's dedication not all hospice plans are set up to tender care in the manner your wife persues.. And I am usually frustrated that my mom's care was limited but it doesn't stop me from having regard for the intent and goals of hospice.
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Old 08-13-2018, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,582 posts, read 58,041,133 times
Reputation: 52490
My hospice experience was awful.

The intake nurse came to the house, did her thing, ordered the medial equipment we asked for, and said she'd check on some questions we had, and stressed that a nurse would be in every day to check on us. The medical equipment was delivered the next day. So far so good ... but then crickets. The next day, I called to ask why a nurse hadn't called to arrange the regular visit. More crickets. "We'll get back to you," they said. More crickets. I called the next day, and the next, only to get the same answer. On the fifth day of our enrollment in hospice, I found out that the initial intake nurse hadn't completed the enrollment, so they sent out another nurse to repeat what the first intake nurse had done. She assured me everything was OK and that the regular nurse would be out in the morning. Next day - no nurse, so I called again, and was told again that our enrollment hadn't been completed and was "pending". Fortunately, my brother-in-law was at the house and could talk rationally when I had lost my cool. So a few hours later, a nurse comes by, checks on my husband for about 3 minutes, says he's fine, and left.

Three hours later, he died - and I know, of course, that the nurse wouldn't necessarily have been able to tell that he was dying. I had my suspicions, but also at this point was at my wit's end and wasn't communicating very rationally. We called hospice and they sent the chaplain, who was very nice. Oddly enough that was the most positive experience about hospice.

Afterward was a nightmare. My husband died on Saturday evening. Hospice called 3 times Sunday, 4 times on Monday, and 3 times on Tuesday demanding return of the medical equipment. I didn't realize I was obligated to be home to suit their schedule. We; came to a mutually agreeable time on Wednesday, and the driver left an absolute mess in the house - plastic wrap and tubing thrown on the floor in every room where the equipment was, the driver nicked the woodwork in the house in several spots. I was so disgusted!

A couple of days later, someone from the hospice called me and said he understood there was some "upset" with the care we received, and I let him have an earful. He indicated he was taking down all these notes, and said his supervisor would call me back. Never heard from them again, except for appeals for donations.

This was Vitas Hospice, by the way. Horrible, horrible organization.
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Old 08-13-2018, 08:13 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,919 posts, read 18,498,452 times
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(((Hugs))), Ohiogirl81. I am so sorry but I don't doubt it.
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Old 08-14-2018, 01:36 PM
 
Location: El paso,tx
1,577 posts, read 621,862 times
Reputation: 2505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
My hospice experience was awful.

The intake nurse came to the house, did her thing, ordered the medial equipment we asked for, and said she'd check on some questions we had, and stressed that a nurse would be in every day to check on us. The medical equipment was delivered the next day. So far so good ... but then crickets. The next day, I called to ask why a nurse hadn't called to arrange the regular visit. More crickets. "We'll get back to you," they said. More crickets. I called the next day, and the next, only to get the same answer. On the fifth day of our enrollment in hospice, I found out that the initial intake nurse hadn't completed the enrollment, so they sent out another nurse to repeat what the first intake nurse had done. She assured me everything was OK and that the regular nurse would be out in the morning. Next day - no nurse, so I called again, and was told again that our enrollment hadn't been completed and was "pending". Fortunately, my brother-in-law was at the house and could talk rationally when I had lost my cool. So a few hours later, a nurse comes by, checks on my husband for about 3 minutes, says he's fine, and left.

Three hours later, he died - and I know, of course, that the nurse wouldn't necessarily have been able to tell that he was dying. I had my suspicions, but also at this point was at my wit's end and wasn't communicating very rationally. We called hospice and they sent the chaplain, who was very nice. Oddly enough that was the most positive experience about hospice.

Afterward was a nightmare. My husband died on Saturday evening. Hospice called 3 times Sunday, 4 times on Monday, and 3 times on Tuesday demanding return of the medical equipment. I didn't realize I was obligated to be home to suit their schedule. We; came to a mutually agreeable time on Wednesday, and the driver left an absolute mess in the house - plastic wrap and tubing thrown on the floor in every room where the equipment was, the driver nicked the woodwork in the house in several spots. I was so disgusted!

A couple of days later, someone from the hospice called me and said he understood there was some "upset" with the care we received, and I let him have an earful. He indicated he was taking down all these notes, and said his supervisor would call me back. Never heard from them again, except for appeals for donations.

This was Vitas Hospice, by the way. Horrible, horrible organization.
I'm sorry that happened to you, and for your loss.
Each hospice is run independently. I was told up front that a nurse would visit once a week, but I could call 24 hours a day. It took them about 5 min to do vitals, a couple of min to check for bed sores, then a few min of writing notes. The nurse that came out about a half hr after getting mom home was there about 3 hrs going over meds, and explaining procedures.
I was fine with a nurse weekly, as there wasnt anything else they could do. If there was a problem, I knew I could call, and get one out.
If someone us going to use hospice, I would advise that if there are more than one hospice company in your area, that you google them for reviews, and call and talk to each. Make sure you know up front what their procedures are. FWIW I'm not aware of any hospices here (there are 3), in alamogordo, NJ (one), or in stuart, fl where dad was, that has nurses come more than once a week. It may be different elsewhere. But since the patient us terminally ill, and meds can be given by family, I'm not sure what a nurse coming daily would do.,
I think not knowing what to expect, is a big cause of frustrations, especially when dealing with such an emotional time. (No excuse for damage to house, and trash being left, though).
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Old 08-14-2018, 08:58 PM
 
Location: SW US
2,033 posts, read 1,899,258 times
Reputation: 3454
When I chose the hospice company for my mother, I first read reviews, then called and chatted with each of the better rated companies. I chatted long enough, asking a variety of questions, to get a feel for how caring, or uncaring, they might be. I also checked with the assisted living where Mom was living to see who they liked and who regularly went there. I did all this in one day, and it took most of the day. We were very pleased with the care my mother got from them. I do know that the assisted living had to increase her care level because hospice wanted a lot of additional services from them. Having hospice at home might be very different if there were no backup care in addition to their occasional visits.
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Old 08-14-2018, 11:43 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,271 posts, read 3,221,329 times
Reputation: 4739
Quote:
Originally Posted by seethelight View Post
hospice does not hasten death !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a really bizarre statement. My wife is a hospice nurse and I hear story after story how the "loved:" ones of the patient prohibit morphine when the hospice DR. orders it to ease pain and suffering of the patient, when the patient has less than a month to live because they don't want to have their dying relation addicted. So their "loved" one can be more lucid while suffering. Do you know the average stay in hospice is only three days. People are dying and everyone except the hospice RNs are freaking out, so be grateful there is hospice and don't knock a noble profession based on your biased opinion.
As I have stated previously in this Thread, my Wife, my Mother and my Sister., all received excellent care in the local Hospice Facility located in a small (5000) western Montana town adjacent to the local hospital.
I was well past age 65 when each one was admitted and it was like receiving a gift from Heaven when, for example, ....after 14 months of caring for my wife at home, by my self, [cancer: Lung, Brain, Liver & Pancreas]...
The Administrator called me on a given day and told me they had an "open" room and strongly suggested that I stop caring for her at home.......I brought her in the following morning!!....15 miles from my home.
The 78 round trips (110 MILES ea trip) for Chemo and Radiation at the closest equipped hospital over 14 months had taken it's toll......and to get an uninterrupted night's sleep was a real blessing.

....Seethelight>>>>: You tell your wife, there is a "special place in Heaven" for Hospice Nurses!!!!!
The ones that cared for my wife ...(of 51 yrs).....were exceptional and made 'my life liveable again'!!!!!!
Now being in my 87th year, I hope "everything goes smoothly" when it's my time.

Last edited by Montana Griz; 08-15-2018 at 12:02 AM..
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