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Old 05-19-2018, 02:14 PM
 
193 posts, read 66,483 times
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My grandpa is dying. I made a trip from Los Angeles to hang out with him and my grandma for a few days. His memory is shot and doesn’t really understand or know what’s happening to him anymore. He recognized me and knew who I was. I met the at home hospice nurses.

My mom, grandpa and grandma just dropped me back off at the airport to fly back to realty. I hugged my grandpa but wasn’t sure what to say. I said, “take good care of grandma for me.” I couldn’t say “see you at Christmas” or “see you later” because I most likely won’t.

He said, “you are a good guy.” almost as if he knew it would be the last thing he said to me. His memory is shot and probably has no idea that he is dying, but for that one moment it seemed like he wanted to tell me that.

I remember him being so strong, great with his hands, friendly, a great people person, so smart.

I’m on the airplane trying not to cry.
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Old 05-19-2018, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
10,998 posts, read 2,097,214 times
Reputation: 16787
Sorry to hear this, OP. Take deep, slow breaths while you are on the plane.

It's very hard to lose a grandparent. Sounds like you two thought a lot of each other. You'll have his lovely comment about you to remember from now on....

I think what you said was fine...you being there means more than words.

Take care of yourself over the coming weeks...
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Old 05-19-2018, 03:26 PM
 
9,788 posts, read 6,922,909 times
Reputation: 17033
Nothing wrong with crying though you may cause a commotion on a crowded aircraft. I used to bawl my eyes out in the car - at a time when I needed to cry it out.



I'm sorry that you had to say goodbye to your Grandpa but I'm so glad you were able to get there. He must have remembered you because he said you're a good guy. Now you be sure you live up to that in every way - and I'm sure that just means be yourself.
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Old 05-19-2018, 06:04 PM
 
3,815 posts, read 5,083,097 times
Reputation: 4334
I lived through a similar scene when my dad died. My mom and dad came into the airport to see me off. I knew I would never see my dad again. This was after Christmas, and he died on January 26. The truth is that I remember one thing he said to me ("You are a kind and good girl") I know the three of us talked and encouraged each other, but I really don't remember what I said. I know I cried walking down the concourse, cried on the plane, etc. This was about 35 years ago. We all seem to remember what is important to us. Although I can't remember the conversation, I remember the smiling, the love, the regret at leaving each other.

It doesn't matter if you had exactly the right words to say. Words aren't the most important part. You will remember the feelings. He loves you, you love him. At the times in our lives when we say goodbye, it feels to me that we are rather apart from the world - enveloped in an atmosphere of intense of love and loss that others will not see. That's OK. And if they do see some of it (your tears) that's OK, too. I have seen quite a few people crying at airports. Parting is hard.

Take care of yourself. Be patient with your feelings. Blessings on you and your grandparents.
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Old 05-19-2018, 08:26 PM
Status: "Explore. Dream. Discover" (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: Outside of Chicago
4,578 posts, read 3,614,315 times
Reputation: 6480
That's tough. I had the last conversation with my grandma before she was placed into a coma and died a week later, and right before my grandfather died I was the last one to speak to him. Literally 10 minutes after he talked to me he was dead.

My condolences go to you and your family.

P.S. I'd be crying. If anybody had an issue with me crying because I just said my goodbyes to a loved one can suck a fat one.
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Old 05-20-2018, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Hoping to settle down.
20,799 posts, read 17,579,270 times
Reputation: 18051
(((hugs))), OP.
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Old 05-21-2018, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
21,656 posts, read 20,687,058 times
Reputation: 26408
Quote:
Originally Posted by ima30something View Post
My grandpa is dying. I made a trip from Los Angeles to hang out with him and my grandma for a few days. His memory is shot and doesn’t really understand or know what’s happening to him anymore. He recognized me and knew who I was. I met the at home hospice nurses.

My mom, grandpa and grandma just dropped me back off at the airport to fly back to realty. I hugged my grandpa but wasn’t sure what to say. I said, “take good care of grandma for me.” I couldn’t say “see you at Christmas” or “see you later” because I most likely won’t.

He said, “you are a good guy.” almost as if he knew it would be the last thing he said to me. His memory is shot and probably has no idea that he is dying, but for that one moment it seemed like he wanted to tell me that.

I remember him being so strong, great with his hands, friendly, a great people person, so smart.

I’m on the airplane trying not to cry.
Even when your memory is shot, you remember some things. He may not have remembered how to tie his shoelaces or fry an egg, but he remembered you.

I think love is the thing to go.
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Old 05-25-2018, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,309 posts, read 1,570,639 times
Reputation: 8855
My last visit with my dad before he passed, he told me I had grown up to be a wonderful lady and he was proud of me. He knew his time was coming as he got tired of battling cancer for the fifth time. Also a myriad of health issues and his quality of life hadn't been good for years.

I treasure that last visit. It still hurt when he did pass but in a way it was a relief knowing he was no longer suffering.
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