U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-28-2018, 10:03 AM
 
Location: PNW
2,197 posts, read 734,123 times
Reputation: 7194

Advertisements

15

Family, co-workers, friends, even one where we didn't know the person (we drove his nephew there and accompanied him). The funerals were all different, although most of them were Celebrations of Life services. Only about 6 were actually inside a church before proceeding to the gravesite.

Unfortunately, our daughter is included in that count. Since then it is almost like pulling teeth to make my husband attend any funeral. I look at it a little differently than he does. I was so over-joyed at the number of people that showed up for our daughter's service, and people from my employment that surprised me, and it was very supportive for me. It was also a joy to see friends of hers that I never saw or met. So, with all that in mind, I try to attend services. It's for those that the dead left behind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-28-2018, 10:17 AM
 
17,158 posts, read 22,161,261 times
Reputation: 31223
i am a supervisor for many accounts and attend work-related funerals..

i hate very few things in life......veggies is one..and so is open caskets services..


when i go i want a motion-detector......when someone is out in front of the casket it will trigger a whispering helllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 11:42 AM
 
5,706 posts, read 12,815,737 times
Reputation: 9007
Too many, which is why I have made it clear that I don't want a funeral. Total waste of money. Have a celebration with an expensive dinner instead. Hell, if you couldn't call or visit while I was alive, don't bother now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Honolulu, HI
4,550 posts, read 1,138,948 times
Reputation: 6517
Too many, most of which when I was a kid and didn't have a choice. I don't plan to go to anymore. If it was (God forbid) something in my immediate household family I would just do the cremation. Myself, I intend to donate my body to science.

I'm done with all funerals. The crying, yelling, screaming, waiting, praying, "they're in a better place," funeral procession, police escort for the funeral procession, high cost, dreadful music, all black attire, etc. It's a ridiculous expensive fiasco. Average cost for a funeral is $7K, mine will cost $0.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
I am 78 and have never been to a funeral.

My family uses a body disposal service that comes and picks up the carcass, cremates it, and dumps the ashes.
You are very lucky. Trust me, you didn't miss anything and I envy you. The screams you'll hear at a funeral will stay with you forever. Atleast for me it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Glen Burnie, Maryland
1,245 posts, read 3,331,568 times
Reputation: 1319
Probably 10 or so - all four grandparents, my own parents, one aunt, and the rest friends who unfortunately died young just like my parents.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,247 posts, read 1,744,626 times
Reputation: 4547
I believe seven.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 04:01 PM
 
220 posts, read 62,587 times
Reputation: 493
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20 View Post
Too many, most of which when I was a kid and didn't have a choice. I don't plan to go to anymore. If it was (God forbid) something in my immediate household family I would just do the cremation. Myself, I intend to donate my body to science.

I'm done with all funerals. The crying, yelling, screaming, waiting, praying, "they're in a better place," funeral procession, police escort for the funeral procession, high cost, dreadful music, all black attire, etc. It's a ridiculous expensive fiasco. Average cost for a funeral is $7K, mine will cost $0.

You are very lucky. Trust me, you didn't miss anything and I envy you. The screams you'll hear at a funeral will stay with you forever. Atleast for me it.
It's nice to know I'm not the only anti-funeral-attending person on here!

I would like to make a couple more comments before I stop following this thread (it's been interesting and still is but I have to limit the # of threads I follow).

1) Someone said "everyone handles grief differently".
Thanks for that. That's how I feel. Going to a funeral just isn't my way of handling grief and I recognized that before I ever attended a funeral and so never have attended one. Don't need it, don't want it. Most of my family seems to understand or at least try to. Those that don't: not my problem.

2) For those who do think funerals are unnecessary and a waste of money, I highly recommend doing what I did: donate your body to science. At least where I live it is easy and very close to free, no muss, no fuss and you're helping people with your dead carcass. I feel very good about knowing:
a) no loved one will have to go through a funeral service or make arrangements or spend any money to deal with my death
b) I'll be helping someone learn to be a doctor by their using my body to study in some way.

I remember my uncle, very macho, (a "real man") at the one "viewing" I went to, was so upset; he did not want to be there and his brothers were trying to force him to go look at his brother laying there in the casket, and he obviously did not want to.

I felt bad for him. Me, it didn't bother me to look at my uncle in the casket so I did; yet I just saw no point in it and in fact I thought the whole thing was silly and useless and served no good purpose. But that's just my opinion.

While I understand that "funerals are for those who survive the death" (family and friends grieving), on the other hand people should accept that some people just do not wish to attend them, or attend viewings, for their own personal reasons.

Let everyone grieve in their own way, in their own time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Honolulu, HI
4,550 posts, read 1,138,948 times
Reputation: 6517
Quote:
Originally Posted by movingvanmorrison View Post
I
Let everyone grieve in their own way, in their own time.
Agreed, life is for living not dwelling on the dead at $7K per funeral. FB allows folks to provide remembrance to lost ones on their social media account, brilliant idea that doesn’t put family members in debt.

There’s two things I don’t do, funerals and church. My entire childhood consisted of both.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 06:36 PM
 
219 posts, read 74,467 times
Reputation: 607
I grew up in a multigenerational neighborhood is a small town, so going to calling hours (the actual interment is generally private) is just something that I did from an early age. I think the first viewing that I attended was that of a elderly gentleman I knew and adored from church--I was around eight or nine. Home funerals were still a thing then for some of the farming families, so I went to at least one of those as a child, too. Prior to the death of a high school friend who'd died at the age of thirty, all of the services I'd attended has been those of people aged sixty-five and (mostly) up.

Being from a small town, calling hours and the funeral suppers that follow are generally cathartic, rather than morbid for me. It's about community, lives well-lived, and lives cut far too short. There are tears, reminisces and laughter....and usually a private place or two to sneak away to when it becomes too much to bear. Pittsburgh, being the big small town that it is, I've noticed is similar--especially in the older, more established neighborhoods. Casseroles and sandwich rings abound as a sort of culinary condolence letter from the neighbors.

So, to answer the OP's question, I think that i've attended northward of twenty-five services, if not actual funerals, over the years. I'm still relatively young, so I'm sure that the number will rise as more friends, older relatives, neighbors and coworkers die.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-28-2018, 07:56 PM
 
2,301 posts, read 1,114,298 times
Reputation: 2802
2
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top