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Old 07-10-2018, 04:36 AM
 
25,454 posts, read 23,266,873 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevie60 View Post
The group thing works for some people. I went to a single meeting and it is not for me. I relive all of the heartache just fine by myself without sharing it with others. Everyone's story is just tragic and it feels more like piling on the hurt rather than making it go away.



Everyone finds their own way I suppose.
you are absolutely right, wouldn't be for me either, however, just thought I'd mention it, b/c I had a girlfriend who attended one and it helped her....but yes, indeed, wouldn't be for me either.

sending thoughts and prayers...for peace and comfort...
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Old 07-10-2018, 11:08 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,429 posts, read 18,139,040 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevie60 View Post
The group thing works for some people. I went to a single meeting and it is not for me. I relive all of the heartache just fine by myself without sharing it with others. Everyone's story is just tragic and it feels more like piling on the hurt rather than making it go away.



Everyone finds their own way I suppose.
Correct, Steve. I found the more "impersonal" forum here to be the help I needed. Not that it was really "impersonal". I have connected with so many individuals on here for times of need that as I have said for so many years, they saved my life. I believe GOD put this forum in my life to do just that.

I don't NEED this forum anymore but I am here, not as a voyeur but as an experienced person with death and healing and try to give people some hope. I had none but wonderful old timers gave me some (and GOD). I don't think any of them post anymore, I assume they have found a life after death, hopefully not the alternative. I, on the other hand, am so grateful that I stay.
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Old 07-13-2018, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,695 posts, read 21,741,083 times
Reputation: 27747
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevie60 View Post
The group thing works for some people. I went to a single meeting and it is not for me. I relive all of the heartache just fine by myself without sharing it with others. Everyone's story is just tragic and it feels more like piling on the hurt rather than making it go away.



Everyone finds their own way I suppose.
I felt that way when I went to a grief group after my husband died. There was a really loud, angry guy and a woman who had lost her sister 3 1/2 years prior. I couldn't deal with them.
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Old 09-26-2018, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Planet Woof
2,950 posts, read 3,188,994 times
Reputation: 8858
Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
I think that having friends and activities is important, although it depends on each person. But even having an extensive social network does not relieve the loneliness of being without your spouse. No matter how much I enjoy my dinner out or my day on the trail with others, when I come home, I am alone. I can't tell my husband about my adventures and challenges. We can't share our opinions or our feelings about people and places. We can't comfort each other when an activity has gone poorly and we can't support each other in our ongoing interests or plan activities together. I am alone in reviewing the events of the day, when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning.

Friends are important, but they can only go so far in filling the void. So we have to somehow make peace with the alone-ness that remains. Becoming comfortable with single life is the challenge.
I lost my partner of 28 years just 4 months ago and what you describe is the hardest part of being alone as well. The "everydayness" of being together- chats, meals shared, watching TV together, coming home to talk about our day, enjoying our dogs together, just knowing that she will be there when I wake up, come home. That she is there to love me and for me to love back.
All this is that proverbial hole that I try to step around with busy-ness and dog companions but that I will fall in over and over despite my best efforts. That is the nature of my Grief and I will never not have that looming sadness always in the background of daily life. Life has changed forever and it will never be the same. It is our connection of shared love that keeps me hanging on until we are together again. I can't cope with her absence any other way and some days even that isn't enough to get me through a moment of profound sadness. I could not make it without our dogs and a few good friends and God's love and protection.

Last edited by HappyDogToday; 09-26-2018 at 07:45 AM..
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