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Old 10-06-2018, 10:08 PM
 
1,081 posts, read 302,123 times
Reputation: 1370

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Just took the whole day today emptying out the house with 800 got junk.

Three and a half truckloads, and I can see basically what the house looked like when my parents bought it. Completely empty.
But wow it hurts. Im forced to delete the things they amassed since they moved us there in 1978.

I have all the stuff I need to keep their memories. Video, pictures, other sentimental things.
We will be putting the house on the market soon, we have people that live on the street already trying to make deals so their relatives can come and buy the house.
The original couple we were working on backed out.
Finally started hanging up pictures of my family in my own house, and other pictures that my parents had.

This is rough.
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Old 10-07-2018, 03:13 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,583 posts, read 18,230,863 times
Reputation: 18937
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hemi View Post
Just took the whole day today emptying out the house with 800 got junk.

Three and a half truckloads, and I can see basically what the house looked like when my parents bought it. Completely empty.
But wow it hurts. Im forced to delete the things they amassed since they moved us there in 1978.

I have all the stuff I need to keep their memories. Video, pictures, other sentimental things.
We will be putting the house on the market soon, we have people that live on the street already trying to make deals so their relatives can come and buy the house.
The original couple we were working on backed out.
Finally started hanging up pictures of my family in my own house, and other pictures that my parents had.

This is rough.
As long as you have the sentimental things you want, Harry, that is good news imo.
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Old 10-13-2018, 05:28 PM
 
1,284 posts, read 630,486 times
Reputation: 1784
Quote:
Originally Posted by trusso11783 View Post
Sorry for your loss. We all go through it. But, yeah, you have to get over it. I think 95% of us that lost both parents also lost their home base. Not many people buy the house they grew up in. Pictures are all you got. You have to live in the present. You canít go home. When I go back to visit the house I grew up in, the entire street looks different. Trees are all cut down. The street is lined with cars where in the 60s an$ 70s growing up, there wasnít a car on the road because every family had just one car and the man would drive it to work. So, the streets were all clear for us to play baseball and sports in the street. But, there is nothing for me to go back to. The neighbors are all gone. That is what life is.

Once you are finished grieving your loss, you need to move on. Keep your parents in your thoughts. Thatís all the4e is from now on. Best wishes.
This hits home....so true. It is so much more than accepting your loved one's death. It is about accepting a new life for most people. I think having to leave your "home base" is so very hard. But nothing stays the same, right? People are constantly building new lives after death, divorce, illness, etc. My thoughts are with you - but once you get through this, nothing else can touch you.
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Old 10-14-2018, 09:44 AM
 
974 posts, read 680,777 times
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I’m happy to hear about your progress. Pictures and moments are fine to keep but when you get to furniture, cars and houses, you gotta draw the line. Selling the house will be the final chapter. It means that you can never return to the home you grew up in again. The good news is that you should not want to. You should be happy in the life you are living now. This is the time to live your life.

I was in your situation. To this day, I still have two 13 gallon storage bins of my moms stuff. I was going to whittle it down to one but once I began, I had to abort. It got me thinking. Why do we feel the need to hang on to their stuff? Did you ever hear of either of your parents contemplating keeping all of their parents stuff when they died? Probably not. So, now that I am married with two children, I am enjoying living in the moment. This moment. Life is weird. When we were young, you had all of the older aunts and uncles and grand parents around. As time goes by, YOU will be the aunt or uncle and eventually, the grand parent. It’s life. Just a different chapter.

Once again, good luck and congratulations on your progress. Time heals.
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Old 10-14-2018, 12:36 PM
 
19,067 posts, read 6,284,752 times
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This story reminds me of when my sis and I cleaned out our parents' home, where we grew up too, and my sis pushed her husband to take so many of the things she wanted, and he was not hep on the idea but hauled some stuff off to NJ to their home. Now my sister is gone and her husband is left with all the stuff that means nothing to him. Just Stuff.

Love this reminder from George:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac
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Old 10-16-2018, 11:33 AM
 
1,081 posts, read 302,123 times
Reputation: 1370
Quote:
Originally Posted by trusso11783 View Post
Iím happy to hear about your progress. Pictures and moments are fine to keep but when you get to furniture, cars and houses, you gotta draw the line. Selling the house will be the final chapter. It means that you can never return to the home you grew up in again. The good news is that you should not want to. You should be happy in the life you are living now. This is the time to live your life.

I was in your situation. To this day, I still have two 13 gallon storage bins of my moms stuff. I was going to whittle it down to one but once I began, I had to abort. It got me thinking. Why do we feel the need to hang on to their stuff? Did you ever hear of either of your parents contemplating keeping all of their parents stuff when they died? Probably not. So, now that I am married with two children, I am enjoying living in the moment. This moment. Life is weird. When we were young, you had all of the older aunts and uncles and grand parents around. As time goes by, YOU will be the aunt or uncle and eventually, the grand parent. Itís life. Just a different chapter.

Once again, good luck and congratulations on your progress. Time heals.
Actually for you, you could use your moms stuff to show your kids who she was, if youre into that sort of thing. I would have loved to have something from either of my grandparents, but my parents didnt keep anything like that.

For me, Im never having kids, so theres no one for me to pass stuff down to. Once Im gone, thats it. Either a future wife or a bank will cleaning out my house.
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Old Yesterday, 08:55 AM
 
1,081 posts, read 302,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
This story reminds me of when my sis and I cleaned out our parents' home, where we grew up too, and my sis pushed her husband to take so many of the things she wanted, and he was not hep on the idea but hauled some stuff off to NJ to their home. Now my sister is gone and her husband is left with all the stuff that means nothing to him. Just Stuff.

Love this reminder from George:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac
This is whats going to happen to me. Either I die alone and someone will have to throw all my stuff away, or whoever I marry will have all the stuff and will have to decide what to do with it. Hopefully I can make some of it mean something.



The house was just put up on the market and is already getting Bids.
This chapter is coming to a close quickly, and soon I will have to deal with the reality that I wont be able to go back there.
The good news is I met a family that was being shown the house while I was fixing something there.
They are from Harlem and want to make the jump to suburban living with 3 young kids.
I gave them my Dads computer that I was going to give to Goodwill. (I reset it)
My brother told them about how we were the same as them 40 years ago. The guy wanted the house real bad. They saw the rooms, the yard, I think they put up a bid. We shall see.

Even though it isnt, it still feels like Im letting go of my parents.
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Old Yesterday, 11:16 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,583 posts, read 18,230,863 times
Reputation: 18937
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hemi View Post
This is whats going to happen to me. Either I die alone and someone will have to throw all my stuff away,

Even though it isnt, it still feels like Im letting go of my parents.
That is what is going to happen with me....I will die alone and whoever finds my body can deal with my stuff. At least it is not a house full of said stuff now. Just a room.

Yes, that is what it feels like but it will get easier with time. I watched my parents go through it and I went through it when they were first gone. They are NEVER GONE though, not as long as you are breathing. Trust me on that one. At least you have a sibling.
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Old Yesterday, 01:44 PM
 
267 posts, read 48,643 times
Reputation: 694
I am pretty good about keeping decluttered. I am, however, planning on leaving some things for people to be surprised about. Along with valuable stuff there will be a few oddities in the safe deposit box.

I'm hiding somethings in the attic eaves and the barn. Not precious things - just look what I found - why was it put here? - type of things. I think I still have a lot of years ahead of me, but one never knows. I won't live where I am at forever, and I won't know if someone finds coins, antique buttons, or pottery I created, or whatnot 100 years from now, but it might be interesting for someone. If not, I won't know that, either.
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Old Today, 10:13 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,583 posts, read 18,230,863 times
Reputation: 18937
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
I am pretty good about keeping decluttered. I am, however, planning on leaving some things for people to be surprised about. Along with valuable stuff there will be a few oddities in the safe deposit box.

I'm hiding somethings in the attic eaves and the barn. Not precious things - just look what I found - why was it put here? - type of things. I think I still have a lot of years ahead of me, but one never knows. I won't live where I am at forever, and I won't know if someone finds coins, antique buttons, or pottery I created, or whatnot 100 years from now, but it might be interesting for someone. If not, I won't know that, either.
Ooooh, those people are going to have fun! I like your idea!
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