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I have been spending a great deal of time lately in planning for the future funerals of my husband and myself.
I feel it would be very useful for people who are either planning ahead or faced with dealing with the death of a loved one, to have a sub forum that would deal with various questions about funerals, cemeteries, private and National, caskets, the various laws regarding what is and is not legal in this area.
Do you think that would be possible? and/or helpful?
I'll move this thread to the "about the forum" forum in a couple of days, once the folks here have had a chance to consider and comment.
I would urge that any such forum NOT be a subforum of grief-mourning, as it would need to accommodate some controversy and contentiousness, such as costs, regulations that might seem at odds with wishes of a family, disputes within a family and estranged relatives, etc. G&M is unique in that ONLY supportive or statement of fact posts are generally able to pass muster and not get deleted. Someone coming here for support MUST have that safe space - Period. That compassion by posters and their willingness to skip rhetoric and divisive comments is the one hard and fast rule here. However, the forums could exist side-by-side without breaching that interdiction.
On a practical level, much of information shared in a funeral forum might be of little use to others. Fifty states with fifty sets of laws and thousands of cemeteries, each with their own rules, and services that vary according to religion and sect or regional standards makes for limited common knowledge usefulness. That is a major downside to creating a new forum.
What I think would work here is a thread where the common protocols are presented, pitfalls shown, and a general estimate of costs provided by any member who cares to share. I guess that to be useful each contributory post would start with area of the country, religious affiliation (if any), size of funeral, special considerations. Also, a separate thread on the ins and outs of military funerals and protocol could be educational for all.
I am 85 and wife 82,we unfortunately had to return to Ct. our birthplace.
We have purchased thru funeral home with contract a policy to cover our expenses,$5200 each, fixed cost.No use of funeral home,only graveside.
I am veteran and town I was born in has a veteran's cemetery,no charge for headstone, provided by government,open and closing of grave covered by contract.We will be cremated and in same grave.
Our money is with a national company,no question about integrity of funeral home,they have buried 5 so far of our relations in the past 3 years.
We have all necessary document's completed.
The OP could scroll back pages or use the search engine to look up threads pertaining to their questions. I have been here many years and I know we have had discussions about everything under the sun about all the things OP asked about.
I am 85 and wife 82,we unfortunately had to return to Ct. our birthplace.
We have purchased thru funeral home with contract a policy to cover our expenses,$5200 each, fixed cost.No use of funeral home,only graveside.
I am veteran and town I was born in has a veteran's cemetery,no charge for headstone, provided by government,open and closing of grave covered by contract.We will be cremated and in same grave.
Our money is with a national company,no question about integrity of funeral home,they have buried 5 so far of our relations in the past 3 years.
We have all necessary document's completed.
If that veteran's cemetery is a National Cemetery then the opening and closing of the grave is Free along with the headstone and perpetual maintenance.
Since the thread has drifted a little and has info that fits here, I won't move it to the "about the forum" forum. If you still think an individual funeral and cemetery forum is a good idea, you can post a request in that forum directly. Given that this forum has light traffic as is, I don't see one being added.
I'll move this thread to the "about the forum" forum in a couple of days, once the folks here have had a chance to consider and comment.
I would urge that any such forum NOT be a subforum of grief-mourning, as it would need to accommodate some controversy and contentiousness, such as costs, regulations that might seem at odds with wishes of a family, disputes within a family and estranged relatives, etc. G&M is unique in that ONLY supportive or statement of fact posts are generally able to pass muster and not get deleted. Someone coming here for support MUST have that safe space - Period. That compassion by posters and their willingness to skip rhetoric and divisive comments is the one hard and fast rule here. However, the forums could exist side-by-side without breaching that interdiction.
On a practical level, much of information shared in a funeral forum might be of little use to others. Fifty states with fifty sets of laws and thousands of cemeteries, each with their own rules, and services that vary according to religion and sect or regional standards makes for limited common knowledge usefulness. That is a major downside to creating a new forum.
What I think would work here is a thread where the common protocols are presented, pitfalls shown, and a general estimate of costs provided by any member who cares to share. I guess that to be useful each contributory post would start with area of the country, religious affiliation (if any), size of funeral, special considerations. Also, a separate thread on the ins and outs of military funerals and protocol could be educational for all.
What do regulars think?
Perhaps placed in the Retirement forum as many there are grappling with the same thing.
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