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Old 09-04-2018, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,250 posts, read 1,747,172 times
Reputation: 4558

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I have been spending a great deal of time lately in planning for the future funerals of my husband and myself.
I feel it would be very useful for people who are either planning ahead or faced with dealing with the death of a loved one, to have a sub forum that would deal with various questions about funerals, cemeteries, private and National, caskets, the various laws regarding what is and is not legal in this area.

Do you think that would be possible? and/or helpful?
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Old 09-04-2018, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,851 posts, read 51,316,975 times
Reputation: 27696
I'll move this thread to the "about the forum" forum in a couple of days, once the folks here have had a chance to consider and comment.

I would urge that any such forum NOT be a subforum of grief-mourning, as it would need to accommodate some controversy and contentiousness, such as costs, regulations that might seem at odds with wishes of a family, disputes within a family and estranged relatives, etc. G&M is unique in that ONLY supportive or statement of fact posts are generally able to pass muster and not get deleted. Someone coming here for support MUST have that safe space - Period. That compassion by posters and their willingness to skip rhetoric and divisive comments is the one hard and fast rule here. However, the forums could exist side-by-side without breaching that interdiction.

On a practical level, much of information shared in a funeral forum might be of little use to others. Fifty states with fifty sets of laws and thousands of cemeteries, each with their own rules, and services that vary according to religion and sect or regional standards makes for limited common knowledge usefulness. That is a major downside to creating a new forum.

What I think would work here is a thread where the common protocols are presented, pitfalls shown, and a general estimate of costs provided by any member who cares to share. I guess that to be useful each contributory post would start with area of the country, religious affiliation (if any), size of funeral, special considerations. Also, a separate thread on the ins and outs of military funerals and protocol could be educational for all.

What do regulars think?
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Old 09-04-2018, 06:43 PM
 
2,382 posts, read 6,077,446 times
Reputation: 2029
I am 85 and wife 82,we unfortunately had to return to Ct. our birthplace.
We have purchased thru funeral home with contract a policy to cover our expenses,$5200 each, fixed cost.No use of funeral home,only graveside.
I am veteran and town I was born in has a veteran's cemetery,no charge for headstone, provided by government,open and closing of grave covered by contract.We will be cremated and in same grave.
Our money is with a national company,no question about integrity of funeral home,they have buried 5 so far of our relations in the past 3 years.
We have all necessary document's completed.
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Old 09-05-2018, 08:58 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,433 posts, read 18,150,188 times
Reputation: 18814
The OP could scroll back pages or use the search engine to look up threads pertaining to their questions. I have been here many years and I know we have had discussions about everything under the sun about all the things OP asked about.

Just a suggestion.
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Old 09-05-2018, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,250 posts, read 1,747,172 times
Reputation: 4558
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanBev View Post
I am 85 and wife 82,we unfortunately had to return to Ct. our birthplace.
We have purchased thru funeral home with contract a policy to cover our expenses,$5200 each, fixed cost.No use of funeral home,only graveside.
I am veteran and town I was born in has a veteran's cemetery,no charge for headstone, provided by government,open and closing of grave covered by contract.We will be cremated and in same grave.
Our money is with a national company,no question about integrity of funeral home,they have buried 5 so far of our relations in the past 3 years.
We have all necessary document's completed.
If that veteran's cemetery is a National Cemetery then the opening and closing of the grave is Free along with the headstone and perpetual maintenance.
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Old 09-06-2018, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,760,954 times
Reputation: 27757
I didn't know that there were different kinds. Some are state cemeteries?
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Old 09-06-2018, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,250 posts, read 1,747,172 times
Reputation: 4558
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
I didn't know that there were different kinds. Some are state cemeteries?
Yes some are state and have different rules and qualifications. Also Arlington National Cemetery has a different qualification process altogether.
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Old 09-06-2018, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,851 posts, read 51,316,975 times
Reputation: 27696
Since the thread has drifted a little and has info that fits here, I won't move it to the "about the forum" forum. If you still think an individual funeral and cemetery forum is a good idea, you can post a request in that forum directly. Given that this forum has light traffic as is, I don't see one being added.
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:02 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,433 posts, read 18,150,188 times
Reputation: 18814
Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
Yes some are state and have different rules and qualifications. Also Arlington National Cemetery has a different qualification process altogether.
There are no STATE cemeteries that I know of, only National cemeteries. Each state has one. You have to be a veteran.
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:12 PM
 
Location: In the land beyond Ohare!
445 posts, read 228,111 times
Reputation: 765
Quote:
Originally Posted by harry chickpea View Post
I'll move this thread to the "about the forum" forum in a couple of days, once the folks here have had a chance to consider and comment.

I would urge that any such forum NOT be a subforum of grief-mourning, as it would need to accommodate some controversy and contentiousness, such as costs, regulations that might seem at odds with wishes of a family, disputes within a family and estranged relatives, etc. G&M is unique in that ONLY supportive or statement of fact posts are generally able to pass muster and not get deleted. Someone coming here for support MUST have that safe space - Period. That compassion by posters and their willingness to skip rhetoric and divisive comments is the one hard and fast rule here. However, the forums could exist side-by-side without breaching that interdiction.

On a practical level, much of information shared in a funeral forum might be of little use to others. Fifty states with fifty sets of laws and thousands of cemeteries, each with their own rules, and services that vary according to religion and sect or regional standards makes for limited common knowledge usefulness. That is a major downside to creating a new forum.

What I think would work here is a thread where the common protocols are presented, pitfalls shown, and a general estimate of costs provided by any member who cares to share. I guess that to be useful each contributory post would start with area of the country, religious affiliation (if any), size of funeral, special considerations. Also, a separate thread on the ins and outs of military funerals and protocol could be educational for all.

What do regulars think?

Perhaps placed in the Retirement forum as many there are grappling with the same thing.
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