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Old 10-21-2018, 12:25 PM
13,006 posts, read 12,434,284 times
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I moved away from my family almost a decade ago but have maintained close ties with my cousins. I recently received word that one of the cousins I'm closest to lost her lifelong platonic male friend. He had struggled with drugs for the past 10 years or so, and I don't know the COD. We are all in our late 30s and early 40s. I'm usually pretty stoic about death when it's an older person (the whole Circle of Life thing), but not when it's someone my age. I have fallen into a huge funk over this, even though I was never close to the guy - he was just someone I recognized as important to my cousin and therefore important to me by extension.

He was an incredibly sweet person and a beautiful soul, despite his struggles. He was just very kind hearted, and the bullied child in me always recognized that this was a safe person to be around (even when I was still a child!). He was a devoted friend to my cousin, and i don't think her parents ever worried about her when he was with her group when they were teenagers. I'm heartbroken for my cousin and her wider group of friends who loved him so much, for the ex-wife I always hoped he might get back together with if he kicked the drugs (they were such a sweet and loving couple), for the beautiful child he left behind who has lost an incredibly loving father.

I hate being across the country from this situation. I want to support my cousin and the people in his inner circle and family. And it just feels weird to be mourning a loss that wasn't really mine so intensely.
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Old 10-21-2018, 12:28 PM
Location: S. FL (hell for me-wife loves it)
2,982 posts, read 1,708,068 times
Reputation: 8886
The way you describe him, it sounds like a loss to you as well. I hope you find peace. I think it's different for each of us as to how to deal with loss, so (sadly) I can't offer any advice in that area. I do hope you are able to get through it, and understand about a younger person leaving sooner than their time.

Last edited by TerraDown; 10-21-2018 at 12:39 PM..
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