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Old 11-06-2018, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,332 posts, read 1,786,978 times
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The other night I was watching something on TV that made me think of my very first real boyfriend from when I was 14. He was an artist so I put in his name to see if he had ever put any of his artwork online. the first thing that popped up was his Obituary. I was SHOCKED. He evidently died November 10 2013 at the age of 62.
For some reason this has hit me really hard.
First of all I only had two boyfriends in my life. This one, and my husband. I married at 16, recently celebrated our 50th anniversary.

I have not seen or heard from the other boyfriend, " Peter" for decades. but for some reason learning of his death is really bothering me. He is no just someone I used to know but someone I had deep feelings for even though I was only 14.

Does this seem like a strange over reaction?
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Old 11-06-2018, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
16,945 posts, read 51,654,400 times
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Not at all. There are a number of different ways of understanding it from psychological perspectives.
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:39 AM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,047 posts, read 3,248,067 times
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No. He was a dear friend, a part of your life at one time.

In the days when one could directly access the Social Security Death Index I looked up a bunch of people from my past. It was shocking to see how many were gone.

Sorry for your loss.
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Old 11-13-2018, 07:18 AM
 
3,721 posts, read 3,055,002 times
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No, it isn't hard to understand your feelings. An old friend from my childhood years was becoming more difficult as the years went by, argumentative, opinionated, and drowning in alcoholism. We had an argument that finally ended our friendship forever, last year I looked him up on google and saw his obit, it bothered me for weeks. I really thought I didn't care about that person--but I did, and I mourned his death just as I would have, had we remained friends.
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Old 11-13-2018, 08:42 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,935 posts, read 43,099,679 times
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When this happens we are reminded of our own mortality.
I have lost 2 of my best high school girlfriends, and “the boy next door”. It makes me wonder, why them and not me?
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Old 11-13-2018, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Michigan
1,827 posts, read 1,177,911 times
Reputation: 4023
Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
The other night I was watching something on TV that made me think of my very first real boyfriend from when I was 14. He was an artist so I put in his name to see if he had ever put any of his artwork online. the first thing that popped up was his Obituary. I was SHOCKED. He evidently died November 10 2013 at the age of 62.
For some reason this has hit me really hard.
First of all I only had two boyfriends in my life. This one, and my husband. I married at 16, recently celebrated our 50th anniversary.

I have not seen or heard from the other boyfriend, " Peter" for decades. but for some reason learning of his death is really bothering me. He is no just someone I used to know but someone I had deep feelings for even though I was only 14.

Does this seem like a strange over reaction?

No, it's not an over reaction at all. IMO, the death of people the same age that you grew up with, or went to school with, etc hits all the harder as it mentally forces you to confront your own mortality.



I had one of my best friends while growing up die a little over 1 year ago at age 58 from COPD (the emphysema version) and it really hit me hard. I'm 3 months older, but I also have COPD. "fortunately" for me, it's the Chronic Bronchitis version, which though eventually will likely kill me, is not nearly as bad as the emphysema type (though still bad enough). He was a smoker, which is the kiss of death to a person with COPD. I do NOT smoke, and never have.
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Old 11-13-2018, 10:27 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,632 posts, read 18,285,705 times
Reputation: 19021
One evening my ex-husband and I were watching the 6 o'clock news and a story came on about a cop killed by a hit and run driver. Hearing the town, I immediately said (so and so) to myself. Next instant the talking head said the same name!!

I was once engaged to this guy many years before. I could not react to the shock. I was married to a reeeeal a-hole. Took me 9 1/2 years to divorce this jerk before I could mourn Walter's death. Even after all that time had passed, I did mourn. Not as much as I would have the night I heard about it but I did get to be sad.
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Old 11-13-2018, 11:16 AM
 
Location: East of the Mississippi and South of Bluegrass
4,143 posts, read 3,430,015 times
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I can't use the word surprised but rather shocked, completely taken off my guard, shocked.

Two days ago I was doing my usual thing around the house and the memory of my son's childhood friend (best friend in the world, two peas in a pod best friend) suddenly just came to me. It prompted me to think back about all their mischief together and their laughter at some of the silly things they had done together.

The following day my eldest daughter called me to say that he had died. I am completely heartbroken, grief-stricken and inconsolable...I have no words to describe the devastation that I feel. I feel as if this young man, "on his journey" visited me on his way to heaven. I am just beside myself over this.

I live out of state and am unable to attend either the wake or the funeral. Of course I will send condolences and flowers but that is pitiful compared to being there...I am lost.
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Old 11-13-2018, 12:49 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,632 posts, read 18,285,705 times
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Sorry for the loss, HomeIsWhere. I think maybe the young man did visit you. I know my husband did at the moment of his death. I saw his spirit (energy) with my very own eyes. Keep that moment close and smile.
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Albany, NY
82 posts, read 66,387 times
Reputation: 106
I was trying to track down two college friends. The three of us kept in touch but it was very sporadic. So I thought I would see if I could track them down on the internet. Needless to say that I was devastated when I found out that they had both passed away 5 years ago. He from cancer and three months later she from a car accident.


Still saddens me as I type this.
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