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Old 12-04-2018, 10:45 PM
 
Location: USA
871 posts, read 945,987 times
Reputation: 997

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My grandmother passed away on Sunday following a 10-year battle with Alzheimer's. She was 90.

Her condition worsened considerably over the past 5 years. It became very difficult to see a woman who was so energetic and high-spirited her whole life as a shell of her former self. She had no idea who we were or where she was.

I feel as though I have been mourning her for years. They say Alzheimer's patients die twice: (1) when they lose their memory, and (2) when they physically cease to exist.

Thankfully, she passed away peacefully in her sleep, and she was well taken care of.

I've experienced several losses over the past 5 years. In 2013, my uncle died at 55 of sepsis (he had Hepatitis and his immune system couldn't deal with it). In 2015, my childhood friend (who also happened to be my brother in law's brother) died at age 30 of a heart attack. Then, in 2016, I witnessed my father-in-law flatline before my very eyes. And today, I had to bid my loving grandma farewell.

It's been hard to come to terms with so many deaths in so short a period of time. I have a very small family, so when someone passes, it's definitely felt.

I'm happy to be married with my wife and own our own place now (no kids yet, still working on that), and it's nice that we have been traveling more the last few years.

Sometimes, however, I can't help but reminisce about my college years, when my grandma and uncle were alive and fairly healthy: I could go to the former for jokes and lighthearted conversation, and to the latter to talk sports. I enjoyed being in college. I didn't have health issues. I had just gotten into a relationship with my now-wife. My parents were also younger and healthier, and I had a better relationship with my dad.

I know things can't stay the same way forever, and people have to age and pass on. But part of me has a hard time accepting the fact that I will never see my grandma or uncle again. It's especially saddening to replay scenes in my head of my grandma, uncle, and I conversing (which happened numerous times over the years). I just can't believe neither is with us anymore.

In 2014, my wife and I got married. I always thought my uncle and grandma would both be present at my wedding. Sadly, though, my uncle had died in 2013, and my grandma's Alzheimer's had gotten so bad at that point that she was in no condition to attend such an occasion. Their absences were most certainly felt.
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Old 12-11-2018, 07:10 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
15,840 posts, read 18,480,510 times
Reputation: 11375
Sorry for your loss. Dealing with the death of a loved one is painful. You can never truly accept it.

I pray that you find peace.
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Old 12-11-2018, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
19,222 posts, read 3,998,424 times
Reputation: 24439
Condolences...grandmothers are very special.

Hope you have great memories...
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Old Today, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
119 posts, read 16,692 times
Reputation: 301
My sincere condolences. My father died 5 years ago tomorrow from the same disease. Alzheimers is complicated and those who have not witnessed it first hand do not truly understand that it ravages so far beyond just losing memory. Your grief will be just as complicated. I'm so sorry for your loss and especially during this holiday season.
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