A "lighter" place to talk.

[tamiznluv]

I realized I really don't want to gab in the day by day thread, it is basically cyn's thread and what with HER health problems I decided today I wanted to make a thread for men and women who are widowed but doing better.

I am not totally depressed all the time, do sometimes want to share little things I do or feel but have no place to talk about them. I am sure there might be others out there who may feel the same way? If not, oh well, I will talk to myself.

[tamiznluv]

It's chilly here, only 61°. Average is mid-high 70s°.

Bought myself a present the other day, a gold rope chain. I sold and lost everything I had up home in Massachusetts before having to come down here. I live month to month on my SS and had a few bucks extra this month.

After checking out the cheapest couple of places I could think of, Wal-Mart and Goodwill, I decided to go try a pawn shop! Wth, I know I sold very good stuff to one up home! Selling, you get peanuts for your stuff but thought maybe I could find a bargain. Goodwill was too expensive! $399 for super thin gold chains!

I found a 14k 18" gold rope for $195. I said I would take it and the guy only charged me $140!!! Good deal! I feel more like myself with a little bit of real gold around my neck now.

Diamonds are my birthstone but pawned all I had. Last year I bought a fake art-deco ring in sterling silver for $49 and people keep complimenting it. A friend said it was gorgeous and so what if they are lab created? They are perfect, real diamonds are not. He is so right! So I can now stop my yearning for a real diamond. Next on my list, a couple of pair of gold snuggles for the two holes in each ear. Because of my MS, I have a very hard time with getting jewelry on and off. So I will put them in and leave them. I used to so love wearing junk earring for all the holidays! I am blessed not to have allergies to metals.

[charlygal]

Help me understand. Unfortunately, loss is a part of life. Why are folks taking it on as an identity?

You bought yourself some jewelry. Why not post that in the shopping forum?

[janellen]

Tami, I've kept up with a lot of your posts and I was wondering why you stay living in that place where you're so unhappy? Does Florida not have subsidized housing for folks who are in your condition and age? I'm in California and there are lots of seniors here that are living solely on their SS that are getting pretty decent subsidized apartments. There's a poster here that has made an art of living on a very small amount of her SS. Her handle is NoMoreSnowForMe. You might want to contact her regarding how to get into your own place cheaply. She used to be a manager for apartment complexes in her working days. I think you would be so much happier living on your own without roommates Check out some of her posts. She's a pretty sharp cookie.

[janellen]

Almost forgot, how did your lung test come out?

[Gerania]

I read Other Topics regularly. Some other forums have an off topic or chat thread.

[tamiznluv]

Originally Posted by janellen

Almost forgot, how did your lung test come out?

No news is good news. Thanks for asking anda thank forma trilingüe me about NoSnow.

Originally Posted by Gerania

I read Other Topics regularly. Some other forums have an off topic or chat thread.

I will check out different forums, ty, Gerania. I feel too comfortable here I guess. I like to be around others I have something in common with and that happens to be my widowhood. No one other than another widow(er) can understand. That is just a fact of life.

So anyhow, I see my "experiment " is a flop.

[tamiznluv]

Originally Posted by charlygal

Help me understand. Unfortunately, loss is a part of life. Why are folks taking it on as an identity?

You bought yourself some jewelry. Why not post that in the shopping forum?

Hmmm, where do I start?

1) It is none of your business.
2) I don't owe you an explanation of anything.

[fresnochili]

So anyhow, I see my "experiment " is a flop. post#7



Don't stop! Your idea will catch on....

I'm not a widow, altho my ex-husband did pass away a couple of years ago...long after we divorced, but it still just abt killed me too. He was only 56.

Peace.

[RosemaryT]

Originally Posted by tamiznluv

I like to be around others I have something in common with and that happens to be my widowhood. No one other than another widow(er) can understand. That is just a fact of life.

This is very true. Sometimes, I make it for two hours without thinking about my dead husband and that's a "good day." People say, "Oh, you need to move on" but his absence, my solitude, and the way he went out of this world are a rough combination, and unless you've been through it, you can't imagine the wake of pain it leaves behind.

So then I come to this forum to try and "reach out" and learn new things and read fun stuff, and then I discover that there are a handful of posters here at CD that are just vicious, mean-spirited folks who apparently never heard, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

And then I decide that maybe it's time to abandon City-Data. And then I find posts from like-minded souls and kind-hearted people and fellow widows/widowers and feel encouraged and understood and supported.

I guess my question - as a widow - is why are some people just so mean-spirited? Some of these posts are so ugly and I KNOW that these people would never say this stuff to another human being in person. So why do they do it while hiding behind anonymity?