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Old Today, 12:13 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,335 posts, read 1,181,858 times
Reputation: 7382

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A huge part of ongoing grief, for me, is feeling like I cannot connect with people I love who have departed.

I am a student of Law of Attraction, and Abraham Hicks says the people are "right there" and that you can tune into them - but I have never been able to do it.

The grief comes from the feeling like love has been "lost."

I miss them.

I can talk to them, but I can't hear from them.

I can't see them or experience life with them.

This is what hurts and keeps hurting.

I have asked for dreams: Nothing.

I feel nothing coming from them.

What are your experiences and have you found ways to connect?
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Old Today, 01:40 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,767 posts, read 18,383,312 times
Reputation: 19223
I don't care to "connect". I talk to Mom, Dad and hubby. I don't need to hear back. They are dead, I accept that.
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Old Today, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
17,016 posts, read 51,862,119 times
Reputation: 28108
You are predicating your expectations based upon a particular belief system. If you expect to see an orange and an orange is not forthcoming, you will experience disappointment. Note that to explain the concept, I had to use "you" four times. In your list, the word "I" keeps coming to the front.

The Abraham Hicks plays to ego, which is fine as long as that is recognized. Even ministers have challenges with the concept of attraction vs. ego gratifications. I have a tape of one who in the same teaching was saying how there was no death and a grieving woman who wanted an expensive car could have one if she believed enough. The mixing of spiritual concepts with materialism can be problematic.

IF you are following Abraham Hicks AND you are experiencing dis-ease THEN
some of that dis-ease stems from not being fully able to relax into the teachings and not being overly concerned when there is variation. That isn't grief as much as an epistemological crisis.

So how do connections continue and manifest? That will vary with the individuals.

Immediately after my wife's death I was guided to a comforting poem she had written. It was in an unusual spot and the chances of my coming across it were minimal. When I went to write a letter trying to explain some of her values, I included a particular quote from a famous person and explained how it fit her. A month later I came across a book with that quote, and in a "spontaneous" reading the context paper of her doctoral thesis read almost exactly the words that I had used. That context paper was over thirty years old and I had previously only skimmed it once at the time she wrote it.

There are other oddities, like her orchids blooming on her birthday and death day anniversaries. When I write, I often feel informed by her influence. My choice in what I read is often exactly what is needed, even when I pick up something seemingly at random. Those are some of my experiences, but others may have radically different ones or nothing of note.

Try focusing on asking for guidance. Try just relaxing into the idea of a presence that doesn't have to interact all the time or respond to everything.

Also be aware that there are other "sources" than Abraham Hicks. There is Seth Speaks,there is a book called "The disappearance of the Universe," there are Buddhist, Zen, and Hindu teachings in addition to the teachings of the three mainstream western religions.
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Old Today, 04:23 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,335 posts, read 1,181,858 times
Reputation: 7382
Quote:
Originally Posted by harry chickpea View Post
You are predicating your expectations based upon a particular belief system. If you expect to see an orange and an orange is not forthcoming, you will experience disappointment. Note that to explain the concept, I had to use "you" four times. In your list, the word "I" keeps coming to the front.

The Abraham Hicks plays to ego, which is fine as long as that is recognized. Even ministers have challenges with the concept of attraction vs. ego gratifications. I have a tape of one who in the same teaching was saying how there was no death and a grieving woman who wanted an expensive car could have one if she believed enough. The mixing of spiritual concepts with materialism can be problematic.

IF you are following Abraham Hicks AND you are experiencing dis-ease THEN
some of that dis-ease stems from not being fully able to relax into the teachings and not being overly concerned when there is variation. That isn't grief as much as an epistemological crisis.

So how do connections continue and manifest? That will vary with the individuals.

Immediately after my wife's death I was guided to a comforting poem she had written. It was in an unusual spot and the chances of my coming across it were minimal. When I went to write a letter trying to explain some of her values, I included a particular quote from a famous person and explained how it fit her. A month later I came across a book with that quote, and in a "spontaneous" reading the context paper of her doctoral thesis read almost exactly the words that I had used. That context paper was over thirty years old and I had previously only skimmed it once at the time she wrote it.

There are other oddities, like her orchids blooming on her birthday and death day anniversaries. When I write, I often feel informed by her influence. My choice in what I read is often exactly what is needed, even when I pick up something seemingly at random. Those are some of my experiences, but others may have radically different ones or nothing of note.

Try focusing on asking for guidance. Try just relaxing into the idea of a presence that doesn't have to interact all the time or respond to everything.

Also be aware that there are other "sources" than Abraham Hicks. There is Seth Speaks,there is a book called "The disappearance of the Universe," there are Buddhist, Zen, and Hindu teachings in addition to the teachings of the three mainstream western religions.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences - that is what I am looking for - obviously, everyone has their own beliefs - I just shared a smidgeon of one of mine to give context. I disagree with your analyses of the material. I have read Seth - not for me - and have studied Buddhism and other religions . . . did a survey of world religions, and that was very interesting.

Again: Loved hearing about your personal experiences and it reminded me of something . . . I was going through some random papers one time, and came upon a little marketing tablet - the kind businesses do to advertise - and on it, was a note from my father with my name saying: "Stay calm and I will try to help you." I had absolutely no recall of ever seeing that note before, and I found it on a day when I really, really needed to hear that message. I incorporated it into a little art project/collage that I put on my altar.

I did have a therapist tell me one time that my dad wanted to connect with me and when he came through, I asked him: "Where have you been?" and he said in just the way I would imagine he would say: "I have been busy!" I believe that perhaps the reason he is not available to me is because he has reincarnated and is actually busy living his new life.

If you live long enough, you outlive people and with each "disappearance," it would be nice to feel some connection - not just a memory, but a real connection. Without that, it does feel like the "love" that they shared is also "gone."
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