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Old 01-07-2019, 12:55 PM
Status: ""I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam." -- Popeye" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: New Mexico
5,549 posts, read 3,146,762 times
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People have different ways of dealing with grief and remembrance. I know a family that always has several cats and when one dies they sew up the ashes in a Build-a-Bear and now they have a bunch of them stationed around the house. That would not be something I would do but they seem happy having Fluffy on the mantle and Felix on the bookshelf. I kinds hope the current pets don't realize what awaits them.

A local man died here a few years back, well loved by many friends. His wife parcelled out fifty small bags of ashes and asked his friends to disperse them at places they shared or where they would have liked to visit. They tell her where he is and it seems comforting to her.

D. H. Lawrence's ashes were mixed with concrete and made into a shrine at his ranch near Taos, NM.
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Old 01-07-2019, 02:58 PM
 
5,754 posts, read 12,987,404 times
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My spouse was my best friend. We decided long ago that when we pass, no funeral, no viewing, nothing. Intimate dinner with family. I have his cremains in our family room and when I pass our grown children have instructions where our ashes will be spread. Our feelings were if you couldn't come and visit or call when I was alive, don't bother now. HA!
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Old 01-07-2019, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
418 posts, read 261,629 times
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In the state of Washington I believe they passed a bill where you can have your dearly departed composted into a cubic yard of nutrient-rich compost... I kinda like the idea.

Rg
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Old 01-07-2019, 03:36 PM
 
839 posts, read 239,237 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
A local man died here a few years back, well loved by many friends. His wife parcelled out fifty small bags of ashes and asked his friends to disperse them at places they shared or where they would have liked to visit. They tell her where he is and it seems comforting to her.

D. H. Lawrence's ashes were mixed with concrete and made into a shrine at his ranch near Taos, NM.
I visited the spot where Gandhi was cremated in Delhi and asked where his ashes were- portions were scattered in either 6 or 8 major cities in the world and the rest were given to family. DH and I had the right idea!

My Dad had an Assistant at the steel mill he managed and they became great personal friends. When the guy died, some of his ashes were cast into a heat (batch) of steel. It was what he wanted.
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Old 01-07-2019, 04:18 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
35,502 posts, read 43,726,645 times
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Hubby and I told the kids that when one of us dies, keep the ashes until the other one dies, then plant us someplace pretty with a nice headstone.
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Old 01-07-2019, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Sonoran Desert, AZ
3,028 posts, read 1,258,917 times
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My first wife's ashes are in a cemetery in Ohio, per her wishes. My second wife's ashes are in a closet, along with the ashes of one of our fur kids (Annie). When Hoot goes (other fur kid), which is soon, his ashes will also go in the closet. When I go my son & grandsons have been asked to combine all of our ashes and take them to the Punalu'u Black Sand Beach and put us all in the Pacific Ocean.


my S/O is aware of this , but I suspect she is not totally on board with it.
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Old 01-07-2019, 08:12 PM
Status: "New home" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: You call this living?
3,380 posts, read 1,355,535 times
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We just bought a new house. There is a plastic box from a crematorium in a little shrine on a rock. I don't know if it's a person or a pet. I'm ok either way; they're quiet and don't take up much room.
We plan to bury it behind the rock because it's kind of ugly and in full view of our living room windows.

My dad's ashes are in a pot at my brother's house. We planned to scatter them somewhere (dad didn't care what we did with them), but we discovered they had hardened and were stuck in the pot.
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Old 01-07-2019, 09:50 PM
 
341 posts, read 85,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Hubby and I told the kids that when one of us dies, keep the ashes until the other one dies, then plant us someplace pretty with a nice headstone.
My Uncle passed 17 years ago, his ashes are "on hold" until my Aunt dies, and then she will be cremated as well. I have instructions to bury both their cremains on top of my Grandmother's grave in central Wisconsin (she passed in the early 80's, they all lived together for most of their lives, and wanted to be buried together). I hope nobody calls the cops when I walk into that cemetery with a shovel or post-hole digger one day.

I scattered my Mom's ashes in a mountain lake in Northern Utah, not far from where she was born - absolutely beautiful location. The elements that formed her earthly body have been returned to the source, as far as I'm concerned. The elements that formed her "soul" have also returned to whence they came, I like to think.
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Old 01-07-2019, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY
32,278 posts, read 9,553,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
It depends. Some people will make provisions for the remains of themselves and their loved one to be buried together, including sometimes having the ashes co-mingled first; or, have them scattered somewhere together.

Scattering is an issue in and of itself. Some places simply do not allow it, or require a permit.

In some cases it is a problem, and one of the reasons the Catholic Church is against people keeping remains. That's their official stance since people started leaving remains at churches, which is obviously not a great idea.

At any rate, my living self would hate to think I am saving a loved one's ashes so that we can end up in a landfill.

Im not sure my dead self will care, lol.


···keeping, scattering, or separating them. They're to be buried.
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Old 01-08-2019, 01:03 AM
 
4,066 posts, read 5,352,759 times
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My father died over 35 years ago. At the time, I knew that he had been cremated. I never asked my mom about where the ashes were. I preferred to think of him as spirit. I was in my mid twenties, and at the time, it seemed to me that thinking of him as ashes would reduce him in some way. But many years later, after my mom died (and we spread her ashes in the places she requested) I asked my younger sister, who was still around home when my father died. She said that mom just put them into the flower beds around the house, that Daddy would like the idea that he had helped out in the garden. That seemed very fitting to me, as he was a life-long, devoted gardener, having been brought up on a farm. We all have different reactions to death, and to the ashes of our loved ones, and I think this can change over the lifetime. I think when my father died, and I was in my 20s, I wanted nothing to do with the ashes. But now, such a thing would not bother me. Whatever feels like the right thing is what we should do.
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