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Old 01-08-2019, 11:45 AM
Status: "New home" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: You call this living?
3,380 posts, read 1,355,535 times
Reputation: 8715

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Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
We just bought a new house. There is a plastic box from a crematorium in a little shrine on a rock. I don't know if it's a person or a pet. I'm ok either way; they're quiet and don't take up much room.
We plan to bury it behind the rock because it's kind of ugly and in full view of our living room windows.
I just found out that the cremains are Bob, the former owner. Neighbor says Bob would like his ashes scattered on the hill behind the house, so we'll do that.
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Old 01-08-2019, 11:52 AM
 
Location: St Louis MO area
22 posts, read 5,945 times
Reputation: 173
I come from a long line of embalm/ view/ open casket funeral/ bury in cemetery. I'm 46 and have decided I don't want this for myself. I have discussed this with my husband and I want to be cremated and I told him he has to take me to my favorite places and sprinkle some of me here and there. First stop is Hancock's of Paducah (Kentucky) - my favorite quilt fabric store!

My mother-in-law died suddenly in May 2018. She had wanted to be cremated but I don't think she told anyone what to do with her ashes. Her husband did NOT want them because they make him too sad and he could not bear looking at them any longer. Her daughter did not want them for basically the same reason. They live halfway across the country from me and my husband (their only other child). So my husband said he would keep her ashes here, where she and her husband grew up. Everyone was happy with that idea so they UPS'd her ashes to me in the original funeral home container. The ashes don't bother us or make us sad, and we have her sitting happily on a shelf in the curio cabinet. Behind a glass door, so the cats can't cause an unfortunate situation. I don't talk to the ashes, but I'm pretty sure she would be happy with where she is. She can watch over me and make sure I'm taking care of her son. When we announced our engagement, she promised to beat the ever-lovin' s#!& out of me if I treated him as badly as his previous wife.

I assume when my father-in-law passes away, he will be cremated and sent to us as well. He will sit on the shelf next to my husband's Mom. Assuming my husband passes away before me, I'll box them both up and send them back to my sister-in-law to give to the grandkids, or whatever. It would not be my place to spread or bury the ashes.
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Old 01-08-2019, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Southern California
20,594 posts, read 6,868,580 times
Reputation: 13879
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnBBQ View Post
I come from a long line of embalm/ view/ open casket funeral/ bury in cemetery. I'm 46 and have decided I don't want this for myself. I have discussed this with my husband and I want to be cremated and I told him he has to take me to my favorite places and sprinkle some of me here and there. First stop is Hancock's of Paducah (Kentucky) - my favorite quilt fabric store!

My mother-in-law died suddenly in May 2018. She had wanted to be cremated but I don't think she told anyone what to do with her ashes. Her husband did NOT want them because they make him too sad and he could not bear looking at them any longer. Her daughter did not want them for basically the same reason. They live halfway across the country from me and my husband (their only other child). So my husband said he would keep her ashes here, where she and her husband grew up. Everyone was happy with that idea so they UPS'd her ashes to me in the original funeral home container. The ashes don't bother us or make us sad, and we have her sitting happily on a shelf in the curio cabinet. Behind a glass door, so the cats can't cause an unfortunate situation. I don't talk to the ashes, but I'm pretty sure she would be happy with where she is. She can watch over me and make sure I'm taking care of her son. When we announced our engagement, she promised to beat the ever-lovin' s#!& out of me if I treated him as badly as his previous wife.

I assume when my father-in-law passes away, he will be cremated and sent to us as well. He will sit on the shelf next to my husband's Mom. Assuming my husband passes away before me, I'll box them both up and send them back to my sister-in-law to give to the grandkids, or whatever. It would not be my place to spread or bury the ashes.
Nice story and sensible too.
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Old 01-09-2019, 02:21 AM
 
4,066 posts, read 5,352,759 times
Reputation: 4689
Just a note to mention that, while you can take cremation ashes on an airplane, they are viewed by the TSA with suspicion. When my son and I traveled to take ashes to their last resting place, he carried them (they are heavy) in his backpack. He was taken out for special searching each time we went through airport security, while I was often whisked through, and had to wait for him. They often had him take every item out of his backpack, lots of searches, drug searches, pat downs, etc. The ashes were labeled and we had a certificate from the funeral home, but that didn't seem to make a difference. I'm still not sure why ashes are treated as so suspicious.
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Old 01-09-2019, 04:40 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,986 posts, read 18,554,405 times
Reputation: 19634
Hmm, velly interesting, GG. Oh, I bet the ashes are under suspicion of being a chemical weapon! A terrorist could transport or use the ashes right there if they were a weapon, with no one the wiser.
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Old 01-09-2019, 06:32 AM
 
Location: northern New England
1,958 posts, read 812,938 times
Reputation: 7567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
My spouse was my best friend. We decided long ago that when we pass, no funeral, no viewing, nothing. Intimate dinner with family. I have his cremains in our family room and when I pass our grown children have instructions where our ashes will be spread. Our feelings were if you couldn't come and visit or call when I was alive, don't bother now. HA!
This reminded me of my DH's passing. After 6 months I arranged a "Dispersal at sea" boat trip (about 2 hours) trying to take into account where his siblings and grown kids lived.


The only ones who showed up were the same ones who had come down (1500 miles away) to our snowbird home when he was dying or after he died, to be with me. His sister, my sister, and 2 of his 4 kids.
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Old 01-09-2019, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Teach an Fhir Bholg
12,035 posts, read 13,416,456 times
Reputation: 32456
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
Hmm, velly interesting, GG. Oh, I bet the ashes are under suspicion of being a chemical weapon! A terrorist could transport or use the ashes right there if they were a weapon, with no one the wiser.
Just as likely they might suspect cocaine.
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Old 01-09-2019, 10:22 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,986 posts, read 18,554,405 times
Reputation: 19634
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
Just as likely they might suspect cocaine.
Hmmm, you could very well be correct there. That didn't cross my mind.
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Old 01-10-2019, 11:13 AM
 
341 posts, read 85,613 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by G Grasshopper View Post
Just a note to mention that, while you can take cremation ashes on an airplane, they are viewed by the TSA with suspicion. When my son and I traveled to take ashes to their last resting place, he carried them (they are heavy) in his backpack. He was taken out for special searching each time we went through airport security, while I was often whisked through, and had to wait for him. They often had him take every item out of his backpack, lots of searches, drug searches, pat downs, etc. The ashes were labeled and we had a certificate from the funeral home, but that didn't seem to make a difference. I'm still not sure why ashes are treated as so suspicious.
And, I believe that some airlines will not allow them in checked baggage, always check with your airline first. I also heard about the TSA hassle, so I mailed my Mom's ashes USPS to my uncle's house in Utah, and then flew out there a week later after I confirmed they had arrived, we went together to scatter them. I guess it's common that USPS handles the transfer of cremains. She was a USPS Supervisor for many years, so it was fitting she was carried by them, anyway. No problems at all, but I'm not sure how upset I would have been even if they were lost, the idea of her traveling about the country or in a post office somewhere may have been OK with her, LOL.
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Old 01-12-2019, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
5,591 posts, read 2,690,299 times
Reputation: 2827
I have my son's ashes and a photo from the last time I saw him alive, beside my bed.
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