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Old 06-19-2010, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
3,271 posts, read 5,891,163 times
Reputation: 3353

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Wow, reading all these stories makes me really pissed off that family can act like this. Craziness to the core for real. Anywho, you've done all you can to try to have a relationship with your brother so there's no sense in trying anymore. He already told you he wants nothing to do with you so shake the dust off your feet and keep moving. This is why I strongly believe that 95% of the human race acts like fools and this is a prime example of it
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Old 06-20-2010, 11:55 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,514,196 times
Reputation: 4730
I say to people like my ignorant sister in law, if you don't want to deal with your husband's relatives, consider marrying someone else, perhaps an orphan with no siblings.
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Old 06-20-2010, 11:59 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,514,196 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesmama View Post
It all proves what I've said for years. Blood is thicker than water, but it can be pretty anemic.
Sad but true. And marrying someone inappropriate can also cause a lot of wreckage in a man or woman's immediate family if they're not careful. My sister in law has some kind of control or power hang up, I'm not sure which. Her own daughter and son can't stand her.
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Old 06-21-2010, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
9,599 posts, read 17,706,452 times
Reputation: 6248
Imagine what the world & life would be like if everyone lived forever.
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Old 06-22-2010, 08:05 PM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,311,863 times
Reputation: 629
I am in that position right now. My sister and I are 16 years apart in age and very,very different in our approaches to life. She was very dependent on my parents for everything. She is one of those people that barely work, then get unemployment, then go through some govt job training and gets fired or quits. I think she is borderline mentally slow. At 53 she cannot hold a logical conversation.

Anyhow, my mom was tired of my sisters mooching ways. Mom and I talked extensively last year and I could hear the sadness in her voice. Mom said things were going to change and that my sister and her 2 teens were getting kicked out the house. Well my mom suddenly got sick in August and died in September. We just settled on an insurance policy and I have NO desire to EVER speak to, see or hear my sisters voice again. She is a leech and I have no need to have her in my life.
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:32 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,514,196 times
Reputation: 4730
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
I am in that position right now. My sister and I are 16 years apart in age and very,very different in our approaches to life. She was very dependent on my parents for everything. She is one of those people that barely work, then get unemployment, then go through some govt job training and gets fired or quits. I think she is borderline mentally slow. At 53 she cannot hold a logical conversation.

Anyhow, my mom was tired of my sisters mooching ways. Mom and I talked extensively last year and I could hear the sadness in her voice. Mom said things were going to change and that my sister and her 2 teens were getting kicked out the house. Well my mom suddenly got sick in August and died in September. We just settled on an insurance policy and I have NO desire to EVER speak to, see or hear my sisters voice again. She is a leech and I have no need to have her in my life.
Your sister has to take responsbility for mooching and not planning her life better, and your parents have to take responsbility for allowing the mooching. They could have said no. People do it all the time. Their allowing it has planted some seeds of bitterness, apparently.
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:59 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,761,533 times
Reputation: 17461
My condolences for your loss ...I don't know... I have a brother thats autistic and my mother stayed pretty much in denial and expected him to function normally when he wasn't capable. I no longer have contact with family for many reasons, but I certainly wouldn't hold his condition against him when my mother passes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
I am in that position right now. My sister and I are 16 years apart in age and very,very different in our approaches to life. She was very dependent on my parents for everything. She is one of those people that barely work, then get unemployment, then go through some govt job training and gets fired or quits. I think she is borderline mentally slow. At 53 she cannot hold a logical conversation.

Anyhow, my mom was tired of my sisters mooching ways. Mom and I talked extensively last year and I could hear the sadness in her voice. Mom said things were going to change and that my sister and her 2 teens were getting kicked out the house. Well my mom suddenly got sick in August and died in September. We just settled on an insurance policy and I have NO desire to EVER speak to, see or hear my sisters voice again. She is a leech and I have no need to have her in my life.
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Old 06-23-2010, 09:08 AM
 
1,785 posts, read 2,921,016 times
Reputation: 3061
So sad reading all these stories. You know, with 2 elderly parents and having no surviving siblings, I was very much "Woe is me; I have to take care of all of this on my own; It would be nice to have someone to share the responsibilities with". Then a gal at work told me how LUCKY I was and began to tell me a story of how her family had split apart over disagreements on the long term care for their mother - and then the splitting of her estate when she died. After seeing similar cases with close friends of mine, I came to see that yeah, maybe it was better the way I had it. It's so sad that old feelings of competing against siblings come up, in-laws add in their not required .02, etc.

The one thing left is that the parents would be broken-hearted to see their family so divided over an issue so small as money. Cause in the end, money really does not matter - it's the relationships you have, the people you can say "remember when" to. My heart goes out to all of you going through this.
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Old 06-23-2010, 01:53 PM
 
2,108 posts, read 1,987,126 times
Reputation: 3764
I guess there is one in every family. Happened years ago but a relative, over years, connived his way into stealing money little by little from an older relative. No one was really paying any attention to the money or accounts because we're all a very close trusting family. I mean we grew up together and never even remotely DREAMED any one of us would sink that low. Knowing my family, almost incomprehensible!

Well relative died and we all knew we were going to get a little something coming our way. Not much, maybe 8k split 8 ways between children, grandchildren, etc. Well guess what, we all only got about $1000 and one ran off with 56K...about 48K too much.

So over just a stupid 48K he completely cut himself off from his ENTIRE family and extended family. No more birthdays, holidays, playing with nephews and nieces. No more phone calls to catch up on, no more support during rough times, no more beer watching Sunday football. He does not exist to us anymore.

The funny part is, he was a well know, very good and supposed "trustworthy" mechanic in our town. Well word gets around and his business dried up. When your entire business is locals, locals that know our entire family...cmon, what was he thinking

The garage is still under bank ownership and his house was on the market over a year before it sold...I wouldn't be surprised at a massive loss. The guy dug himself a bigger hole more than he temporarily got ahead.

We could have chased him through the courts but didn't. In the end, it really wasn't about the money at all but the realization that one of us could completely sell the rest out, stab in the back, and have total disregard for the rest of family.

All I can say is watch the money. If it can happen to mine, it can happen to anyones. We never even dreamed in the slightest any one of us would do this. My family is about as low key "work things out" as it gets! I can't even remember the last time anyone had any real argument let alone a raised voice. Just who we are.

Last edited by HansProof; 06-23-2010 at 02:04 PM..
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Old 10-07-2010, 04:23 PM
 
213 posts, read 596,071 times
Reputation: 172
Default yep

happend to me. My mother died and my aunt (her sister) took all the inheritance money she left to us and doesn't speak to me or my brother although she has no children of her own, drives two mercedes benzes and lives and remodels her house continously in miami florida. And the sad part is they were best friends and had a really close bond...it's pathetic how some people are, even if they are family.
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