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Old 10-07-2010, 04:33 PM
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when my grand parents died my aunt was in charge of dividing all the money, selling the house, etc. she sold the house, kept all the money...which my mom actually said was cool cuz she did all the work getting it ready and selling it. the rest of my grand parents money my aunt also pocketed without telling anyone. my mom asked for a few sentimental items that were promised to her by my grand parents from the house, but my aunt also just took them.

my aunt was also in charge of my great grandmas finances at the time and was taking from there. when she died she took all that money too.

my aunt lived in a small house before and was barely making it. then when she ran off with all the money she bought a giant house and joined a fancy country club. she said my grand parents didnt have any money, but my grandma told my mom before she died how much she had and to watch out for my aunt. my mom and my aunt havent really talked since and i havent talked to her either.

some people are just bad people
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Old 10-07-2010, 05:15 PM
 
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How do these people just manage to take inheritances? If the property is to be split there are legalities that must be followed, there is probate, etc. If it is a house, how does one person take that? Especially if it is an aunt or someone other than the children, I don't understand how they get it in their name.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,352 posts, read 15,852,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
How do these people just manage to take inheritances? If the property is to be split there are legalities that must be followed, there is probate, etc. If it is a house, how does one person take that? Especially if it is an aunt or someone other than the children, I don't understand how they get it in their name.
What happens is that there is some preplanning going on. For instance, the person is added to their savings/checking account and is added as a joint owner to assets. The justification for doing this may have been that this person handled all of the parent's finances in their final years. Once the parent dies, everything is changed to this person's name as a right of survivorship and you are left at their mercy for any distributions. As to why this person, it could be that no other relatives lived close.

This is basically what my mom set up with my sisters in charge. When my mom died this past August, I was fortunate in that my sisters are fair and basically followed my mom's wishes (Changes actually benefited my brother and I plus we were given a chance to object). So such an arrangement can workout.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 1,413,037 times
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I haven't spoken to an older in over 11 yrs and haven't spoken to an older sister in over 20 yrs.I became sick and tired cause of all the drama and wasn't going to go deal with it anymore.

When our mother passed away my older sister tried to argue with me over our mothers stuff.I just plainly told my sister that if she wanted the stuff to go ahead and take it all.I wasn't about to argue over material items.

One thing that she couldn't try to take away were the memories of my mother.

It's sad when this kind of thing happens in families.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:58 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
7,144 posts, read 12,731,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
My brother has embezzled (fancy word for being a theif) somewhere between 3-6 million dollars that was meant to remain in a trust to take care of my Mother (set up on my Fathers death). Then when my Mother passed away, it was to be split between my brother, sister and myself.

Yes there has been legal action but the money is GONE, some of it probably in Costa Rica according to documents found. It will NOT be recovered.

We don't speak, I wouldn't pour water on him if he were on fire. Yes I will come to his funeral, only to make sure the SOB is dead.

This is the culmination of years of verbal and physical abuse that my sister and I have endured in our family and in my opinion, life is too short to have people who treat you like trash on the bottom of your shoe in it.
I've got a similar story. It's even worse. Now I understand the word 'rage'.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:01 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
7,144 posts, read 12,731,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
How do these people just manage to take inheritances? If the property is to be split there are legalities that must be followed, there is probate, etc. If it is a house, how does one person take that? Especially if it is an aunt or someone other than the children, I don't understand how they get it in their name.
Combine 1 demented (or very unaware) elder + 1 sociopath (or more) child + one sleazy lawyer to witness and sign power of attorney and all's said and done. The DA won't get involved because it's a "family matter". At least in me and my sister's case.
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Old 10-11-2010, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,432 posts, read 24,204,419 times
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Estate settlement often breaks up families. Very common. There are stories out there that would curl your hair.

People often equate love with money. One person I know was left out of an estate because they were already doing OK and there was another sibling who 'needed' the money. Well, this person was changed for life by this decision. He felt he was being punished for being competent while his sibling was rewarded for being irresponsible. He is very bitter and it destroyed his relationship with his sibling. This happens all the time.

I know another family who owned a huge sugar beet farm in the Dakotas worth millions. 6 kids and 5 of them got nothing. The father gave it all to the youngest son. The other kids had all been told to go out and get a career/education. The youngest didn't and got millions. All of the 5 who got nothing have written the youngest sibling out of their lives and there is nothing but hatred and animosity between them.

Personally, I always advocate doing it evenly. Makes no difference if one kid has more than another. It causes too many problems when one child is favored over another.
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Old 10-11-2010, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,352 posts, read 15,852,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
Estate settlement often breaks up families. Very common. There are stories out there that would curl your hair.

People often equate love with money. One person I know was left out of an estate because they were already doing OK and there was another sibling who 'needed' the money. Well, this person was changed for life by this decision. He felt he was being punished for being competent while his sibling was rewarded for being irresponsible. He is very bitter and it destroyed his relationship with his sibling. This happens all the time.

I know another family who owned a huge sugar beet farm in the Dakotas worth millions. 6 kids and 5 of them got nothing. The father gave it all to the youngest son. The other kids had all been told to go out and get a career/education. The youngest didn't and got millions. All of the 5 who got nothing have written the youngest sibling out of their lives and there is nothing but hatred and animosity between them.

Personally, I always advocate doing it evenly. Makes no difference if one kid has more than another. It causes too many problems when one child is favored over another.
I would like to do the opposite. We have one son who has been more of a drain and I would like to reduce his portion in the will to account for what we bailed him out of.
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Old 10-12-2010, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,432 posts, read 24,204,419 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akck View Post
I would like to do the opposite. We have one son who has been more of a drain and I would like to reduce his portion in the will to account for what we bailed him out of.
My grandmother did that and it worked out well. When one of the kids needed money, she gave it to them and told them it was coming out of their share of her estate. In her will she said to divide it evenly after subtracting what she had already given out.

No secrets, everyone knew that's how it was being done.
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Old 10-12-2010, 08:17 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,447,336 times
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My Mother's family, two sisters, and a brother. They argued regarding the estate, and then my aunt died, and now, they don't talk at all. I guess that just brings out the best in everyone.
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