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Yes, debey, of course food represents fellowship.
The act of preparing/serving/bringing/ingesting food is yet another focus for the living. And yes, if people travel a long way or simply come from the next block, they must be fed, and fed well.
However, for the funerals I've been involved with (at one point, we lost 3 loved ones in 18 months) I myself did not exactly feel like pigging out.
And of course funerals are for the living--it's not as if the dead can do a whole lot about it anyway, even if they plan in advance.
When I was younger I was skeptical about the whole thing (it's such a racket!), but I am more understanding now. I've been to many funerals, including ones for a 4 year old, a 20 year old, a 30 year old, a 50 year old (my dad). Survivors need to recognize a passing, and grieve, and everyone has a different way. I don't think closure happens for a long time, but a funeral is a start.
I'd like to have a private, green "eco-burial."
Back at the house, if there could be live music, that would be perfect, but a DJ would work too.
And plenty of food and drink--with taxis for those who might imbibe too much in my blessed memory.
The last funeral I went to was for my father who died at 56 almost 15 years ago. It was massive with tons of people I never met. Also the whole family showed up and most don't get along. To me this was not a show of grieving. On top of that his widow threw herself over the casket and was spouting how my father "thought she had a beautiful body." Tacky, very tacky and my father would have been mortified. He was a very dignified man.
I think funerals are fine if you have very "close family and friends." But if people just show up out of the woodwork and they weren't a part of your daily life they are not grieving. They are just there because according to society "that's what they are supposed to do."
No funeral for me or my DH. We talked to his daughter about our plans if we go first. Have us cremated and throw our ashes over our mountain top. Oh yeah and enjoy the money that is left behind, lol.
We have also informed our daughter of our wishes for cremation. Our cemetary plot, is beside my son. In South Dakota, it is not legal, to "scatter" ashes, @ this time.
I am surprised that so few understand the concept of cremation. Even when a person is cremated, there is often a funeral or service to remember the life of the deceased. Many people prefer that cremation and placement in an urn to be buried in a relatively small space - compared to a full sized coffin - in a cemetery. Not everyone wants to have their ashes scattered in the wind. And for those who are cremated and remain in an urn to be kept by a loved one, there is still a service of sorts in the home of a friend or in a public place for fellowship with others who reminisce the life of the deceased.
I am surprised that so few understand the concept of cremation. Even when a person is cremated, there is often a funeral or service to remember the life of the deceased. Many people prefer that cremation and placement in an urn to be buried in a relatively small space - compared to a full sized coffin - in a cemetery. Not everyone wants to have their ashes scattered in the wind. And for those who are cremated and remain in an urn to be kept by a loved one, there is still a service of sorts in the home of a friend or in a public place for fellowship with others who reminisce the life of the deceased.
I totally understand the concept...that is up the the person being cremated, whether they WANT a funeral.
Both of my parents donated their bodies to science..Their bodies were immediately taken to the University..We had a memorial service when all of us could make the trip a week or so later..Both parents would have been so thankful and so happy to see us all together sharing different things about their lives and the love and laughter we shared by being reunited..
When the University was finished with the bodies they were cremeated and buried with dignity in a beautiful memorial garden in a natural setting behind the University..There is a brick walkway to the monument where the ashes are entombed and each brick has the name,d.o.b. and d.o.d. enscribed on it..Once a year there is a service honoring the ones who were cremeated and it is a beautiful triute by the young interns, the professors and ministers of all faiths contributing to the ones who made a final gift..
I am surprised that so few understand the concept of cremation. Even when a person is cremated, there is often a funeral or service to remember the life of the deceased. Many people prefer that cremation and placement in an urn to be buried in a relatively small space - compared to a full sized coffin - in a cemetery. Not everyone wants to have their ashes scattered in the wind. And for those who are cremated and remain in an urn to be kept by a loved one, there is still a service of sorts in the home of a friend or in a public place for fellowship with others who reminisce the life of the deceased.
I understand what you are saying. Like I said before it is only worthwhile to do a service or a memorial of any kind if the deceased had a loving/close family and/or true friends who really cared. I don't want a service or a memorial and my DH doesn't want one either. My stepdaughter is fine with this and she is really our only close family.
I tried contacting a University about donating my body and I never heard from them. Welcome to the "new America". I figure they aren't interested, lol.
Where and why is it illegal to scatter ashes? How would anyone know? I would never want anyone to keep my ashes. That is way too morbid. I also don't want to be buried because by then our souls are gone and by then we are either a bunch of ashes or a bag of bones and it is just a waste of land.
I also don't get cemeteries. I've gone to visit my father and I think the whole thing is just a money business for someone. I felt ridiculous because I know he isn't there. I keep his memory alive in my memories. I don't need to visit.
Everyone needs to grieve in their own way. Personally I don't like when other people are around when someone close to me dies. It might be strange but I don't find it comforting. That's just me.
I’m seeing more and more of those roadside memorials of accident victims along the highways and now city streets go unattended and not cared for. Some are looking very shabby over the years of neglect. Wonder why they do that? Putting a marker along the highway that is?
For those who want a burial at a cemetery with a marker etc it’s fine but it’s truly for those living and not the dead.
A celebration of “life” is more appropriate when someone dies then all of the fuss with their death.
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Tacky, very tacky and my father would have been mortified. He was a very dignified man.
Putting a marker along the highway that is?
