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I think for the most part, its a last chance to say the good-byes to the passed person, though a simple memorial serves the same purpose and can be held anywhere besides some way-overpriced funeral home.
I went to a funeral a few years ago, of a very dear, "young-ish" friend, early 50's. Closed casket at the cemetery. Afterwards we went to his home, opened up his liquor cabinet, and drank and reminisced of the fun times we all shared with him in the past!!!
Hey that's ok! I can relate to that very well. When I go, people should do the same for me.
My stepmother passed away a week and a half ago of bile duct cancer that had spread to her liver, stomach, and pretty much anywhere else you wouldn't want it. We were told last Christmas she had a year at best, so we have been preparing for this for some time, as morbid as it sounds. At least I was, emotionally. She has been in my life since I was 5, and her two children are 14 and 17. She was 47...
To me, the funeral (her body was cremated, which was nice so we wouldn't have to remember her as sickly thin...) served as a reality check. Nothing was quite real until the funeral, I hadn't really accepted her death (which was less than a week before) until the relatives, friends, co workers, and her childrens sports teams started pouring in and hugging me.
I cried a bit, but for me the main purpose was to finally accept that she had passed. It's nice hearing a short speech about the loved one, and seeing how many people cared and will celebrate their life.
So, a reality check. Also, a bit of a celebration of life. Her cancer was finally over, and we are no longer waiting for bad news. I don't mean for that to sound cold, in a way I hope there is peace out there somewhere for her, and that we can find peace as well. I still hurt terribly for my father.
I've often wondered how we came up with such a rediculous tradition.
I would never want to be displayed for people to walk by and view my dead body...who knows what kind of talent the hairstylist/makeup artist has...if any?
I don't attend funerals.
I'm being cremated!
Me and you both! I said this many years ago, and have reminded my family time after time. Some other countries find us barbaric that we have people come by and look at our beloved one lying in a casket. I agree with them. I don't care if it's supposedly for the public or not. I'm the one losing my life; I should get the final say in what happens with my body.
Hello, I would like to know that what purpose does a funeral serve? I mean, Is it help to the survivors or anything else?
I've also wondered this but have come to the conclusion that the ghoul lobbies in most states are politically well connected. Having friends and family peer down at a pasty and ashen face lying in an expensive coffin offers solace to no one except funeral home directors and the ghoulish.
I really need somehelp with this..my husbands family has always hated me......I plan on having a memorial service and if a light luncheon at the church.....I am not going to give those folks a chance to grandstand or possible be abusive to me at this horrible time in my life....I do not want to see him in a box......they hardly come to see him now......its disgusting....br
I really need somehelp with this..my husbands family has always hated me......I plan on having a memorial service and if a light luncheon at the church.....I am not going to give those folks a chance to grandstand or possible be abusive to me at this horrible time in my life....I do not want to see him in a box......they hardly come to see him now......its disgusting....br
We have done two memorial services and had lunch at the church. Those services with the cremated remains turned out beautiful. Beautiful songs, and beautiful words from children and grandchildren.
It was so much more uplifting then the funeral home and open casket way.
Some words would make you cry, but others made you laugh. The stories of the past brought everyones attention.
After my Mothers Celebration Service my cousins did the same for their parents. They felt how uplifting the service was.
Don't worry about anyone hating you. Plan the service and your speakers that will walk to the front.
Have it well organized and flowing. Hire one singer at least or the church chorus.
Chose songs you and he loved. Its all about his wonderful life. Head up, chin high.....and your beautiful service will work just fine.
A very old concept but a primary reason for me to attend a funeral, is to show respect or love for a deceased individual. I've been to plenty of funerals from the open casket, drawn out affairs to memorial services for people lost at sea or aircraft accidents where there no bodies were recovered. I vastly prefer the memorial service model but understand where family and people close to the deceased might need to "view" the body in a private setting to have it be 'real" to them. I also think that the food tradition is to encourage connections between people close to the deceased to converse, share memories and finally it's a representation that life goes on, that there will be joy and fellowship even with a loved ones final absence which to me is life affirming.
I don't understand going to funerals of people that I don't know and I would never join an after-funeral wake or meal if I weren't close to the deceased or their family. Just my take. FWIW both my DH and I will be cremated, ashes scattered. Dust to dust.
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