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Old 07-16-2009, 12:07 PM
 
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I am watching the Girl Scout Murder Trial on TV and the murder was 33 years ago. I was telling a friend how you can see the pain in the mothers face, now that they are discussing the mom on TV the anchors are discussing the same thing.

My heart goes out to any parent who has lost a child. My children say I worry too much but they are our children!
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:17 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
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Yes the death of any child is such a shame and tragedy and yes I feel the same way you do . I think a loss of any child is a tragedy and some parents never get over it they move on but they dont get over it . It is sad .
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Texas
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Yes, it's very hard. We lost our 16 year boy, an only child, 8 years ago in a car accident. 2 of his friends were also killed in the accident. I recently read a book entitled After the Death of a child: living with loss through the years by Ann Finkbeiner about the long term effects of losing a child. The author interviewed parents who had lost children at least 5 yars ago. It made me feel better to know I was kinda "in the norm" with the other bereaved parents. The upshot was this~ you learn to live with it, but unlike other deaths of loved ones, you never totally get over it. You are not the same person. You may get back to "normal," but it will be a new "normal." One mother kinda expressed it like I feel it~~I am happy now, but I will never be as happy as I was before the death. There is always that kind of void. You will likely always carry some pain. Those with a faith that believes they will see their children again in heaven fared the best but even so, they also continued to grieve.

Now that I've scared you even more about losing your children, let me just say that thankfully in this day and time, MOST people will never lose a child. So we have to keep it in perspective. Just treasure what you have and realize what a gift your children are.

Last edited by kaykay; 07-16-2009 at 12:30 PM..
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:38 PM
 
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Losing one of my children is my biggest fear. I truly don't know how I'd go on. Kaykay, I'm so very sorry about the loss of your son.
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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^ I agree. Kay Kay I too am very sorry.
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach
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I'd hope to die before my kids.
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Old 07-16-2009, 04:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
Yes, it's very hard. We lost our 16 year boy, an only child, 8 years ago in a car accident. 2 of his friends were also killed in the accident. I recently read a book entitled After the Death of a child: living with loss through the years by Ann Finkbeiner about the long term effects of losing a child. The author interviewed parents who had lost children at least 5 yars ago. It made me feel better to know I was kinda "in the norm" with the other bereaved parents. The upshot was this~ you learn to live with it, but unlike other deaths of loved ones, you never totally get over it. You are not the same person. You may get back to "normal," but it will be a new "normal." One mother kinda expressed it like I feel it~~I am happy now, but I will never be as happy as I was before the death. There is always that kind of void. You will likely always carry some pain. Those with a faith that believes they will see their children again in heaven fared the best but even so, they also continued to grieve.

Now that I've scared you even more about losing your children, let me just say that thankfully in this day and time, MOST people will never lose a child. So we have to keep it in perspective. Just treasure what you have and realize what a gift your children are.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've been to 2 funerals for children. One was for my childhood best friend and her sister who both died in a house fire. I will never forget their Mom trying with all of her might to walk to the front of the church at their funeral. It was more then 20 years ago and it still brings tears to my eyes. The other was a child who was murdered in a domestic dispute. The wails of his Mom as they closed his casket was the most heartbreaking sound I've ever heard. I can only imagine the pain.
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Old 07-16-2009, 05:26 PM
 
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I can't imagine how it feels like. I don't want to imagine.

That show on Oprah where Oprah kept asking the mother, "So you were sitting there at the curb with the head of your daughter in your hands?" (after the crash) - "Yes", the woman kept repeating.

I'm so sorry, Kaykay.
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:05 PM
 
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I have had 4 miscarriages and that was hard enough. I have 4 children and cannot even imagine losing one of them. I don't think it is anything any parent can get over.
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Old 07-17-2009, 08:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin View Post
Losing one of my children is my biggest fear. I truly don't know how I'd go on. Kaykay, I'm so very sorry about the loss of your son.
Totally agree wity you. My sympathies also.

A little girl my daughter's age drowned last month during a day camp field trip. That frightened me, as my daughter was in a similar camp. You put your children in other people's hands and trust that they will be supervised and well cared for. But that doesn't guarantee their safety.
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