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I don't do them well, esp the sad one's where a persons life has been cut short. At all of them I often think, how amazing it would be if the deceased person could actually see and hear all these things being said about them. Who knows maybe they do. For those of you, who have no major trouble attending funerals what do you put down to the keys to your perspective?
When my brother was killed, he was on 31 so it really hit me hard. I went to the funeral home and sat with him by myself for hours. I sat beside him and talked about what I was feeling and how much I missed him. It was a tremendous help because it gave me the opportunity to release all of the feelings I had and grasp the concept that he was gone.
In your thread about bringing someone back, it would definately be him but I could not take going through the pain of saying goodbye again.
I have attended far too many in my lifetime to have "problems" with them. Do I like them? No. I don't think anyone does. But I'm there to give support for the family - they need others around them in times of loss. It helps them, and that is why we are there - that, and of course to respect the life of the deceased, when it is someone close to me. Obviously, if it is someone close to me, I am grieving as well, and I appreciate the support and love of those around me.
Funerals serve an important function, whether they are just a small service at home, or a full blown funeral home/graveside thing. But we never "like" going...we go, because we are human and we love and support others.
But I'm there to give support for the family - they need others around them in times of loss. It helps them, and that is why we are there because we are human and we love and support others.
Yeah exactly, that is what I always remind myself.
I have only been to funerals of family (mother and father included), both grandparents, a cousin, an uncle, and then I had a few friends pass. NO one likes funerals. But, it's part of life and we all end up having to go. I think you kind of need to go as part of the closure process.
I don't do them well, esp the sad one's where a persons life has been cut short. At all of them I often think, how amazing it would be if the deceased person could actually see and hear all these things being said about them. Who knows maybe they do. For those of you, who have no major trouble attending funerals what do you put down to the keys to your perspective?
Death is a part of this life and a passage way to the next.
If I was close to the person I will grieve for my loss, I go to the funeral to pay respects and support the loved ones if I was not particularly close.
Of the many funerals i have attended there was one that hit me so hard I could hardly make myself go to the funeral home. My cousin, a young mother of two, died in a car crash on her way home from work late one night. Her car caught fire and she was badly burned so it was a close casket. The worse part was at the graveside. It is a custom in my fam. for someone to stay until the person is covered so my cousins father was still there as my mother and I were leaving, as we turned to look back my uncle was shoveling dirt on the casket and mom just broke down at the sight. Aflter that funerals are a piece of cake.
I have attended far too many in my lifetime to have "problems" with them. Do I like them? No. I don't think anyone does. But I'm there to give support for the family - they need others around them in times of loss. It helps them, and that is why we are there - that, and of course to respect the life of the deceased, when it is someone close to me. Obviously, if it is someone close to me, I am grieving as well, and I appreciate the support and love of those around me.
Funerals serve an important function, whether they are just a small service at home, or a full blown funeral home/graveside thing. But we never "like" going...we go, because we are human and we love and support others.
Wow! You gave me a lot to think about. You see, in recent years I have stopped attending funerals.
I don't do them well, esp the sad one's where a persons life has been cut short. At all of them I often think, how amazing it would be if the deceased person could actually see and hear all these things being said about them. Who knows maybe they do. For those of you, who have no major trouble attending funerals what do you put down to the keys to your perspective?
The older you get the more the people around you die. A fact of life.
A lesson to be learned is that those for whom you care know that you care about them because you tell them so when they're alive.
I don't attend all funerals of acquaintances who pass but always send a hand-written letter to the family expressing my condolences and tell them the good things I remember.
I wasn't able to be at one of my brothers' funeral nor at my father's because they were so far away but I felt no guilt whatsoever. My physical presence wasn't necessary, the words I sent were heartfelt in both cases and which were read at the respective ceremonies.
And, who knows, maybe the deceased do know. I've had some pretty odd things happen when somebody has died when I didn't yet know that they'd passed.
When that's happened I've taken it in stride, not been scared at all and have sat there absorbing the anomaly of flickering lights, electric problems and other odd occurrences which come and go.
The older you get the more the people around you die. A fact of life.
A lesson to be learned is that those for whom you care know that you care about them because you tell them so when they're alive.
I don't attend all funerals of acquaintances who pass but always send a hand-written letter to the family expressing my condolences and tell them the good things I remember.
I wasn't able to be at one of my brothers' funeral nor at my father's because they were so far away but I felt no guilt whatsoever. My physical presence wasn't necessary, the words I sent were heartfelt in both cases and which were read at the respective ceremonies.
And, who knows, maybe the deceased do know. I've had some pretty odd things happen when somebody has died when I didn't yet know that they'd passed.
When that's happened I've taken it in stride, not been scared at all and have sat there absorbing the anomaly of flickering lights, electric problems and other odd occurrences which come and go.
I'm not sure that I've answered you.
I've had similar experiences........ I have to agree with you on this.
I do believe they know, but of course its another topic altogether
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